Ultrasounds, Jazz Hands and Sleepless Nights : Episode 2

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This is the Great Hair and Day Care Podcast.

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With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ in that same range, your hosts, Frank Cerio and Carlo Russo.

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So, this is exciting because if you're watching this, you actually are, this is the second time you've done this or you started with number two, right?

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Which I often do.

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And then I do every morning.

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That's right.

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We're very, very happy that you take the time to come back again.

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Yes.

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And join us.

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So this is, uh, in fact, episode two, I am Frank Cerio, 55 years old, and my wife is now 19 weeks pregnant.

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And this is my friend, Carlo Russo, who is with me.

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What's up guys.

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Welcome back.

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And thanks again for giving us a second chance or a first chance.

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First chance.

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Second chance.

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I don't know.

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It's a podcast.

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Our last chance.

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But we'll see.

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You only need 19 weeks.

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That's it.

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I just want to make it until the kids born,

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Then we dump everything.

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That'll be it.

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That'll be it.

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Okay.

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I'm done.

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Funny.

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But so, uh, so we talked about the first episode a little bit.

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What are our dreams and aspirations are for, uh, for the podcast.

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And, uh, one of the things I really want this to be is like live, like week by week.

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What happened?

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Yeah.

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It's like a journal.

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I mean, right.

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Is that what it is?

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A little bit.

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But right now I've got a bunch of weeks to catch up on what I want to do is kind of take you back to kind of where it started and we'll just try to catch up to real time.

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So maybe over the course of this and the next couple episodes, we'll get up to real time before we're going to go in the past to get to the future.

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We're going to, we're going to go back to week four because week four is when we, uh, when we found out and, uh, essentially, you know, before that we, we, uh, we tried for a while.

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Well, you know, Kelly and I've been married for seven years.

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We, we wanted to take a couple years of just enjoying being, being a couple and, uh, traveling.

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We do.

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So that's a, we love to travel and we got a chance to do that stuff.

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And then in the middle of there, I think the thing that really derailed us and pushed this a couple more years was COVID right?

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So COVID happened and you're not thinking this'll be a great time to have a child.

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So we, you know, that, that slowed us down, but we, we tried, we started in earnest really trying and, you know, I think we came, we came close a couple of times, I think toward the end of 2023.

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And then earlier in this year, it was a week four, so 14, 15 weeks ago now we, we thought we were, and you get to take, you take the test.

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And I was interesting as you take the first test and my wife is a brilliant woman and she's very methodical about things.

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She's okay.

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So this is good, but now it's this, it's HCG is what the, these tests measure.

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Okay.

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So what I think is interesting is like that, that is a HCG is a fertility drug that they will give women to, to get them to ovulate.

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I would give it to men who need help also to work to, to produce, to have, to increase sperm count.

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Gotcha.

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So, but it's also the hormone level that they measured.

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And initially that's what those little P tests are looking for initially knows if you're pregnant and then it's very, they're very scientific about it, that, that level, if you test and you're pregnant, then that level is supposed to double every 24 to 48 hours.

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So Kelly being the way she is, it's like, okay, so now in two days, it should, the number should be this.

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So it really was like a gradual, the initial, when she called me and said she was, I'll never forget it.

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I was coming back in from the carriage house, back in the house, I had been working on some nonsense or whatever.

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Right.

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Doing your normal.

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My normal stuff.

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And she told me and I, and I thought, wow, like, okay, like this, that's going to happen.

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And you know, said a little prayer and, and God, my baby.

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So then it was, it was like, okay, in two days, okay, now in four days and then, okay, now in a week.

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So, and all I'm thinking is, can we tell, can we tell anybody?

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So can I, can I, cause I never, I didn't experience this.

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Yep.

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So, so she's taking new tests every, so she's going for the numbers, working with the doctor and they're, they're doing a, it was like a test.

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You're pregnant.

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This is where you should be in two days.

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Hit the goal.

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You got it.

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Four days later.

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So you're going back and forth to the numbers, looking your way into work.

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She's stopping and checking and yeah.

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And it's all on the rate, you know, on the rate trajectory, but yeah, that, so that's kind of what we were, uh, you know, how we were doing it.

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And it was fun because you want to hit the threshold at the same time.

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I'm looking at Kelly and thinking, is she fully, like, is her heart in it yet?

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Right.

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Like she's obviously excited, but why did you think that?

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You know what it is?

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I think she is, we think very, very differently.

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And she, I think she manages her disappointment in, by managing her expectation.

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So I don't think she did, she wouldn't fully allow herself to engage in it because she didn't want to be disappointed.

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She was protecting herself.

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Exactly.

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We had those couple of things where we thought, so it didn't work out and that was very disappointing.

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Now we're going way back.

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But what I think was interesting was in the moment it was like, Oh yeah, I guess we'll keep trying.

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Right.

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But then things got a little tense, like a week later and you know, just normal husband wife stuff.

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But we talk, like we talk about, I talked to my wife a lot.

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We talked about everything.

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It's one of the things I love about our relationship, that we can, she was like, yeah, I think this, it was harder.

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It was a bigger disappointment for her when she had that glimmer of hope that it really, it got to her.

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So I think by the time we got here, I think the stakes were higher.

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Well, there's more to lose now because it's real.

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I mean, when something happens, you're like, okay, it wasn't meant to be, it's not, but when now you're trying to hold on to, Oh, this is, I could lose a lot.

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Right.

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I don't want to get too over myself right now because losing at this point could be really scary.

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It is.

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It is one of the, yeah.

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It is.

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So for me, I was still kind of in that, I was like, well, let's tell everybody.

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And she was like, no, no, no.

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You gotta, you gotta wait till at least 12 weeks and you got to be careful.

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I completely understand that.

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But it was.

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So that's four weeks.

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You did the initial, you're pregnant four weeks is when we did the first test.

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And then over the next few days and the next week it was testing numbers, testing the HCG and everything tracked.

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Well, and then week five, so a week later, then after those went well, then they do an ultrasound.

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Okay.

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So, so she goes in and they do the ultra, they do the ultrasound.

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How did that hit you?

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Cause I can tell you for me, when, when my wife says I'm pregnant, okay, I got the initial, Oh my God, you know, I can get somebody pregnant, yay for me.

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Right.

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It works.

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I mean, it works.

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So that was my initial thing.

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Again, we didn't go through and went through the natural way and then that was that, um, it didn't become real until I heard that heartbeat and I choked up.

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I teared up cause now I'm listening to my son or daughter.

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Yup.

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Um, and he got rid of it.

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Was it, how was it for you?

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So what is, what's interesting is, so because of some of how tentative things were, right?

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And initially she's going in just for these tests.

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I'm not going with it.

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She's doing other way to work.

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So week five, she goes and does the ultrasound and she just tells me about, right.

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I'm not even there.

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And I don't think, I don't think at that point, I don't know if they even, I don't know if they, there even was a heartbeat to listen to.

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I would have said, Oh, I would have asked.

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So I'm just hearing good news, right.

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And they're, you know, they're showing, you know, they're a little, you know, there's they send pictures.

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The technology is amazing what they're doing, but yeah.

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You see that light right there?

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Yes.

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It's a heart.

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So they go through, you know, so she goes through week five, that's it.

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And then I think it was week six, she goes back and she does another one.

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So now it's a couple of weeks later, we're still not really, we're not obviously not telling anybody and things are going okay.

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She starts kind of with the beginning of certain foods.

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All of a sudden are like, she just completely, like, I can't be around this or that, which is not like her.

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She's not, she doesn't have the, like, she doesn't have the relationship with food that I don't like.

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She doesn't care about food.

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Right.

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So those reactions, I think cause like, Oh, I don't think that's, I think I'm seeing this stuff as a good sign.

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And she goes, and at this point is when I ask, I'm like, so when do I start going with you?

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Cause I'm trying to be like, I, she's trying to be very, so I'm like, when do I get to good?

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And she's like, Oh, whatever you want.

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So I'm like, okay.

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I would have kind of been happy to go at that point.

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Then I, we're moving into week, uh, week six from week six to week seven.

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And so week seven is the first time I get to go for the ultrasound and there is now all along the ultrasounds that she's doing.

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It's just what the heart rate is.

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Heart rate's this.

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Heart rate's this.

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Every time you go, the heart rate is supposed to be in this range and we're getting those things.

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So that's all good.

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But this time I'm pretty sure, I think it was the first time she heard the heartbeat too.

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Okay.

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Where they actually played it.

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And you're both at the same.

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And we're both there.

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And we're there.

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Okay.

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So that's good.

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And that was a crazy moment because they're doing it.

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They're doing the ultrasound and you know, the, the, the way the tech, I don't know if it was like this.

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They have her email.

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They're taking pictures and texting her phone.

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That's all new

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Even from my experience.

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As they're doing it, tech is facing her and looking at a monitor.

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I'm in a chair with a 40 inch TV watching it.

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Same thing.

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And they're going through, they're going through everything and they're like, Oh, there's an IC.

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It's like, I don't know what I'm looking at.

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This could be a sonar attack.

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I don't know.

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What is that?

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I think it's Hawaii

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I don't know.

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A whale making sounds.

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Nothing.

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But they turn it on and say, there's the heartbeat and there's the heartbeat and you hear it.

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And it was a combination of, I was disappointed that there was nothing on the screen that I could, that I was recognizing, but I'm like, I'm looking for something.

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Right.

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But I think that's why the heartbeat at that moment is so huge because you can't see anything else and, but you can hear it.

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There's nothing more human than that sound, how to find a vowel or anything like that.

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So yeah.

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So that was, that was fun.

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And I absolutely, I was, it became real to me that it became real off to that point, you know, we're talking, the doctor says, I mean, he was good.

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I look good.

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My thing that did that to that, but there was no, like, there's no photos.

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There's no, you know, voice to the heartbeat.

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Sound is the first thing that I put into like, Oh my God, there it is.

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I can, I can hear it.

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Yeah.

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So, and up to that point, it was just either photos were just doctors going, everything was great.

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Yup.

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Yup.

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So that's why it hit me real hard.

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Yeah.

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No, it was, it was an interesting thing and not, I think Kelly was watching me watch it.

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Experience it.

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And once I started getting a little teary eyed, obviously she, of course she started to as well and it was a nice moment and I'll never forget it.

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Yeah.

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And then, but then it's like, okay.

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And she's off to work and I'm on to my next thing.

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So that's kind of, so that was a week, week seven.

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So I get to hear the heartbeat.

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I get to see the little blob and then we go into, so then the next week we gave a couple of physical, there's a couple of things that were more fun, which, so we go back for that.

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Now week eight, they say wait until week 12 to announce.

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So you're still doing this in secret.

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Oh yeah.

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Right.

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It was like, if you make it to week 10, you're 90%, 90% chance you're going to go to term.

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We're Italian so we don't want to jinx anything.

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I was ready.

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Like I was ready to tell them.

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You're ready.

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I think I am generally optimistic person and I think Kelly, Kelly is much more always managing the expectation.

228
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Don't want to put it, don't want to put it out there too soon.

229
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:02,150
And then I completely understand that.

230
00:14:02,670 --> 00:14:05,070
But yeah, if it were up to me, I'd have been like, guess what?

231
00:14:07,250 --> 00:14:08,370
So week eight.

232
00:14:09,890 --> 00:14:12,610
So now we're, yeah, week, so now it's week eight.

233
00:14:12,750 --> 00:14:14,430
It's already been a month going by.

234
00:14:14,750 --> 00:14:20,390
We go back and I'm like, okay, well let's show you the blob and they get in there.

235
00:14:20,570 --> 00:14:23,370
The other thing I'm fascinated by is like the ultrasound text.

236
00:14:23,650 --> 00:14:27,390
These girls look like they're 19 and they're really good

237
00:14:27,410 --> 00:14:28,650
Because you're having a child at 15.

238
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:29,330
Yeah, that's what happened.

239
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:32,070
But these girls are like, I'm like, how long have you been doing this?

240
00:14:32,110 --> 00:14:33,010
She's like, oh, nine years.

241
00:14:33,570 --> 00:14:34,550
I'm like, what?

242
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:35,370
Are you 18?

243
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,830
I'm like, when were you doing this?

244
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:38,210
Yeah.

245
00:14:38,350 --> 00:14:43,810
But they're, they're incredibly, they're all great and they're very skillful and they, and they identify the stuff.

246
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:50,110
But this time there literally was a moment where she's going around and you're like, oh look.

247
00:14:50,710 --> 00:14:52,710
And I see jazz hands

248
00:14:52,710 --> 00:15:05,350
I see the little sticks and I look at, I look at Kelly and I don't know if she said it first or she's like, but I think, I think she said it.

249
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:06,310
She's like jazz hands.

250
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:07,290
Well, yup.

251
00:15:07,350 --> 00:15:07,890
There you go.

252
00:15:08,030 --> 00:15:11,270
And so that, that was, that was a very, that was a cool moment.

253
00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:15,910
It overrode the heartbeat.

254
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,730
That was the, that was a really cool moment.

255
00:15:18,730 --> 00:15:19,090
Yeah.

256
00:15:19,490 --> 00:15:23,190
It may, it did have more of an impact I think than maybe even the first time.

257
00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:24,450
Her visual is always.

258
00:15:24,550 --> 00:15:35,930
And it was also one of the first times where I felt like, okay, she's starting to be the, the happy part of this, right?

259
00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:46,110
She's really, she's really key kind of, I think keeping it under, under control and then to see her kind of light up with a little bit of excitement.

260
00:15:46,110 --> 00:15:49,670
It's gotta, it's gotta be hard not to go in that realm.

261
00:15:50,030 --> 00:16:01,930
When you see jazz hands in the body, I mean, even like you said, Kelly being usually not like you, uh, even seeing that, you've got to go like, oh, yes, I'm excited.

262
00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:05,650
She couldn't help.

263
00:16:05,830 --> 00:16:05,970
Right.

264
00:16:06,290 --> 00:16:24,810
So we're at eight weeks and the thing, the thing that happened that she, that was most notable was I start getting, you know, she's doing searches about all things to do with, with babies and stuff that we're going to need and thinking about all that stuff.

265
00:16:24,810 --> 00:16:26,090
And I'm doing some of that stuff too.

266
00:16:26,210 --> 00:16:33,550
So all of a sudden I'm getting pushed over and over again, videos and groups.

267
00:16:34,130 --> 00:16:47,550
We talked about a little bit in the first episode, all these parenting groups and videos and reels and I, and I'm sitting there and a lot of time my day will wrap up and Kelly gets home a little bit later than I finish up.

268
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:53,950
So I will have an hour where I'll just till time reading or I'll watch something on TV.

269
00:16:54,350 --> 00:17:02,170
So I'm looking through this stuff and I didn't push these videos and I, I really wanted to try to find it so I could link to it for the podcast.

270
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:09,329
There is this video and if anybody out there has seen the video and can send a link, I would love to be able to share it with everyone.

271
00:17:10,170 --> 00:17:20,650
It is a video of parents, fathers, mothers and fathers all reading from some book and they're all reading the same passage.

272
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:27,010
Have you ever seen one of the videos where they'll be reading the same thing but they'll switch from person to person but they're all reading continuously?

273
00:17:27,109 --> 00:17:29,870
Yeah, to them continuous read but different people.

274
00:17:29,870 --> 00:17:38,970
And it's the, the whole passage is about childhood and raising children and how quickly it goes by.

275
00:17:40,130 --> 00:17:50,830
And I'm right now talking about this video thinking I have to manage my emotions because I will start crying now.

276
00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:57,670
I watched this video the first time and was like inconsolable.

277
00:17:57,670 --> 00:18:05,110
I was crying my eyes out like I could, if someone had, if the phone had rung, I wouldn't have been able to call

278
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:05,670
Please didn't yet.

279
00:18:06,150 --> 00:18:16,050
And because these people that are reading this are experiencing it and they are breaking, they're starting to tear up as they say it because it's reminding them of these, these moments that are gone now.

280
00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:17,410
They're gone for them.

281
00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:29,330
And I'm thinking, what a blessing to see that now and, and be a part of it, to start to get that in my head yet.

282
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:32,810
Don't be stupid and rush through this.

283
00:18:34,010 --> 00:18:42,230
Realize that everything that I'm about to experience, I'm about to experience things that I'm going to look back on for the rest of my life.

284
00:18:42,610 --> 00:18:46,150
It's really trying to get them to sink my teeth into that.

285
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:49,490
Your present will be memories, right?

286
00:18:50,150 --> 00:18:57,230
You have to hold on to that present as long as you have it because I just celebrated my baby's 18th birthday.

287
00:18:57,850 --> 00:18:58,170
That's right.

288
00:18:58,350 --> 00:18:58,530
Right.

289
00:18:58,610 --> 00:18:59,150
So what was that?

290
00:18:59,230 --> 00:19:00,250
What was that like?

291
00:19:00,250 --> 00:19:00,990
What does it feel like?

292
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:01,290
Okay.

293
00:19:01,550 --> 00:19:09,990
So I guess I got used to it, but my first, when my first turned 18 or 21, he hit both of them.

294
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:25,010
It makes you realize time flies, but it also makes you realize what a great time it was and what a great time it's going to be for the next, however long we're blessed on this earth for.

295
00:19:25,010 --> 00:19:35,290
But my little one that just turned 18, it was, you're always blessed when you could have your child turn another year, right?

296
00:19:35,430 --> 00:19:35,610
Sure.

297
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:39,130
I mean, that's what our, you know, we don't want to outlive our children.

298
00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:44,210
In one aspect, you're like, thank God, you know, he's 18, he's healthy, he's smart.

299
00:19:44,510 --> 00:19:46,090
But at the same time, he's my baby.

300
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:51,070
He's the, you know, I took him home that day and I drove five miles an hour because we were

301
00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:54,750
scared something was going to happen and something was going to hit us or I was going to, it's

302
00:19:54,750 --> 00:19:59,710
the same child that, you know, we come in from work and my, my wife said, hand me to

303
00:19:59,710 --> 00:20:04,030
him because she had to be slept and now it's my shift and I loved it and I would just sit

304
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:06,010
on the couch and have him on my chest.

305
00:20:06,230 --> 00:20:15,850
So all these members come through, but yes, what you were saying, time flies when you're in the middle of it, you always think this is never going to change.

306
00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:17,030
This is my life.

307
00:20:17,470 --> 00:20:22,230
But then eventually you're going to go through that moment going, where was those times?

308
00:20:22,350 --> 00:20:22,910
Oh my God.

309
00:20:22,910 --> 00:20:31,890
I wish I was still holding my little girl or little boy because they go by so fast because I think we were always like, Hey, it's going to be, you're going to be one almost

310
00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:33,890
Let's, you know, let's push that.

311
00:20:34,130 --> 00:20:35,250
Oh my God, you're going to start kindergarten.

312
00:20:35,590 --> 00:20:43,870
Oh, let's, you know, we jumped, we jumped into these big parts of life and we're not sitting through going, slow down, slow down.

313
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:48,990
That's why my wife, she always took pictures and videos, things that we never had growing up.

314
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,770
I don't want videos of us.

315
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:54,830
It's really cool to see our parents young and having, you know, wouldn't that be cool?

316
00:20:55,030 --> 00:21:02,790
I have one movie that my uncle, my dad's brother had a movie camera.

317
00:21:02,930 --> 00:21:04,990
I think my dad had one too, but he never did anything with it.

318
00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:25,410
So there are movies, but there's a movie that my cousin had that I got my hands on somehow digitally and there's glimpses of mostly my siblings when they were little, but there's like a few seconds, like a few seconds of my mom and a couple, just a few seconds of my dad.

319
00:21:25,490 --> 00:21:32,430
And it's like the best thing to see them at that age and working it and living, yeah, living life.

320
00:21:32,550 --> 00:21:37,870
I remember I used to, you know, I didn't make fun of like, not make fun of, but you said, God, another video.

321
00:21:38,350 --> 00:21:52,250
But then you look at it now and I know so many of my, my two boys on vacation and, and on the bikes or, yeah, you got to, you got to do that because to get back to the point where we're talking about, time flies.

322
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:58,170
I'm lucky because my siblings were so much older, the older of my two sisters, I think had a camera.

323
00:21:58,770 --> 00:22:04,150
So there are, there's very few pictures of my siblings, but there's like albums of me.

324
00:22:04,710 --> 00:22:07,290
So there are a lot, we have a lot of pictures, no videos.

325
00:22:07,290 --> 00:22:22,270
But we went from no videos to, I remember when my, when my brother, when, when his daughters were born, he had multiple generations of camcorders and so he was taking all the videos and all that stuff.

326
00:22:22,390 --> 00:22:24,210
And everybody did that.

327
00:22:24,310 --> 00:22:34,770
And now you're almost on the other side of that, where you've got video camera on your phone, people, their whole lives are on video.

328
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:42,390
And now you almost don't, I worry about, I know how I am, like, I follow the dogs around with my camera.

329
00:22:42,630 --> 00:22:47,430
I know I'm going to want to do that, but I don't, I also don't want to be trapped behind the camera.

330
00:22:47,990 --> 00:22:52,270
I want to capture those memories, but I'm, I really want to live them.

331
00:22:52,910 --> 00:22:58,590
So a lot of people say that, like in concert, put that down and record it in your mind, right?

332
00:22:58,850 --> 00:22:59,650
Use your eyes.

333
00:22:59,650 --> 00:23:02,490
I agree with that, but these are memories.

334
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:05,890
You want to look at your child at that moment.

335
00:23:06,070 --> 00:23:16,550
And the best way to do it is videotape it because just that the motion and the, you don't need to just have the realism of, of what you're doing with your memory is right.

336
00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:18,510
And I think you can do both.

337
00:23:18,570 --> 00:23:22,950
I think you're going to have many times where you go, no, this is just for me.

338
00:23:23,350 --> 00:23:24,930
This is just for me and my memories.

339
00:23:24,930 --> 00:23:33,290
And I never understood it either, but I, when I recorded stuff, it makes me remember that moment even more when I see it.

340
00:23:33,690 --> 00:23:36,270
So it works, it works both ways.

341
00:23:36,270 --> 00:23:40,590
Like, yeah, I could have forgot some, but I saw it and I'm going to go, Oh my God, that was a great memory.

342
00:23:41,430 --> 00:23:46,970
So do you, are there times when you sit down, like where you and Trina sit down and watch?

343
00:23:47,150 --> 00:23:47,990
Can I tell you something?

344
00:23:48,230 --> 00:23:51,810
We, we regularly watch our wedding video.

345
00:23:52,470 --> 00:23:52,870
Really?

346
00:23:53,150 --> 00:23:53,570
Yes.

347
00:23:53,570 --> 00:23:54,650
We love it.

348
00:23:55,270 --> 00:24:08,830
When you see all of our friends, we see the dancing, the, the toast, we will sit there and that's why you have such a sweet, cute cup, come on, maybe an anniversary or a cold winter day.

349
00:24:08,970 --> 00:24:10,770
And we'll cleaning, we'll come across it again.

350
00:24:10,950 --> 00:24:12,070
Hey, let's put that on tonight.

351
00:24:12,090 --> 00:24:13,450
And we'll sit there and watch it.

352
00:24:14,050 --> 00:24:17,770
We watched it with her aunt that was in, that was the maid of honor.

353
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:31,190
And yes, we, we have sat there and you know, we do a lot of, because like we said, sometimes video is like, you know, it's so weird, we go for our albums, our, our photo albums.

354
00:24:32,810 --> 00:24:39,090
And my wife is very good with when we go on vacation, there's a lot of these companies that you can take these photos and make books.

355
00:24:39,090 --> 00:24:39,490
Yeah.

356
00:24:39,610 --> 00:24:39,830
Right.

357
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,530
And we'll just go one book after another.

358
00:24:43,110 --> 00:24:47,330
And we'll, you know, see the kids when they were in vacation on this.

359
00:24:47,510 --> 00:24:49,270
So yes, we, we go through that.

360
00:24:49,550 --> 00:24:50,150
That's fantastic.

361
00:24:50,570 --> 00:24:51,930
We go through that a lot.

362
00:24:51,930 --> 00:24:52,370
Yeah.

363
00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:56,170
And you have to, because it's just, now the kids are moving on.

364
00:24:56,250 --> 00:24:57,610
My son is out of the house.

365
00:24:57,750 --> 00:24:59,430
My oldest one is out of the house.

366
00:24:59,530 --> 00:25:00,890
My youngest is going to be in college.

367
00:25:01,330 --> 00:25:11,050
We're going to be empty nesters, as they say, and you know, so videotapes and photos are, are, are going to take a lot of that time that you, uh, you know, you want to share again.

368
00:25:11,430 --> 00:25:19,110
We take all these pictures and I, I would keep on my phone or in the cloud that a lot more great pictures, but you never look at them.

369
00:25:19,530 --> 00:25:23,070
So one, but one year for Christmas, I got the idea.

370
00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:34,130
I started, I went year by year, uh, I built an album, Google does a Google photos and I built an album year by year and I've been doing that every year.

371
00:25:34,210 --> 00:25:36,990
So we have this album for every year we've been together.

372
00:25:37,650 --> 00:25:48,650
And then some years, like when we went to Italy, that gets its own, I didn't aspire to do exactly what you're exactly what you are doing because it must make it.

373
00:25:48,650 --> 00:25:55,650
They say that when you remember something, you don't, you're not the mechanism in the brain.

374
00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:58,570
You don't, you don't remember the event.

375
00:25:58,770 --> 00:26:00,890
You remember the last time you remembered it.

376
00:26:01,010 --> 00:26:01,110
Right.

377
00:26:01,810 --> 00:26:06,590
And that probably keeps things fresh in a very different way.

378
00:26:06,650 --> 00:26:06,830
Yes.

379
00:26:07,490 --> 00:26:11,510
In my mind, my wedding wasn't 26 years ago.

380
00:26:11,650 --> 00:26:16,990
It was probably nine months ago because I, you know, I see the video and I feel that same happiness.

381
00:26:16,990 --> 00:26:18,010
We got married.

382
00:26:18,150 --> 00:26:24,530
I see us how happy we are in our families and that drives you like, Oh my God, this is a beautiful thing.

383
00:26:24,670 --> 00:26:25,070
We have.

384
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:35,570
Um, so I would say I, whatever this, take as many pictures, take as many videos, you're going to live the moment anyways, don't fear that if I turn this camera on, I'm not living the present.

385
00:26:35,670 --> 00:26:36,050
You are.

386
00:26:36,170 --> 00:26:39,870
You're looking for a lens and you're still seeing it and you're going to experience it.

387
00:26:40,210 --> 00:26:40,750
Preserve it.

388
00:26:40,910 --> 00:26:41,390
Preserve it.

389
00:26:41,490 --> 00:26:41,610
Yeah.

390
00:26:41,970 --> 00:26:42,890
I love it.

391
00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:44,690
I love watching our videos.

392
00:26:44,690 --> 00:26:46,170
I absolutely love it.

393
00:26:46,330 --> 00:26:49,370
And I, every time I see it, I get excited.

394
00:26:49,490 --> 00:26:50,370
Take the videos.

395
00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:51,290
Enjoy it.

396
00:26:51,630 --> 00:26:52,290
Enjoy your baby.

397
00:26:52,670 --> 00:26:52,890
I will.

398
00:26:53,110 --> 00:26:53,750
I will do that.

399
00:26:54,090 --> 00:27:09,790
So we kind of went, we were up through the week, week nine, I think is, it is the week where I have come as close to knowing what it's like to be a parent at this stage.

400
00:27:09,850 --> 00:27:14,190
So week nine, it was a Monday back to work after the weekend.

401
00:27:14,190 --> 00:27:15,230
Things are going okay.

402
00:27:15,550 --> 00:27:16,650
Kelly comes home from work.

403
00:27:17,350 --> 00:27:23,030
As she does, she, she goes into the bedroom to change and I'm hungry.

404
00:27:23,150 --> 00:27:24,650
So I start, I started eating.

405
00:27:24,890 --> 00:27:35,230
I hear her talking to somebody I dunno sometimes, you know, that time of day, sometimes she'll talk to her sister or mom or somebody on the phone.

406
00:27:35,410 --> 00:27:35,850
So I'm not thinking.

407
00:27:35,850 --> 00:27:36,970
You're not really thinking anything of it.

408
00:27:36,990 --> 00:27:38,370
I'm not thinking a whole lot of it.

409
00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:41,810
And then time's dragging on and I'm like, I don't want to eat my whole dinner.

410
00:27:41,810 --> 00:27:45,890
I started to feel guilty and I'm wondering what's taking so long.

411
00:27:45,970 --> 00:27:54,750
So I get up and I go in and she's just hanging up the phone and I can see something, something is wrong.

412
00:27:56,110 --> 00:27:57,070
What's wrong?

413
00:27:57,190 --> 00:28:08,310
She said, well, I had, I had some bleeding and I was just on the phone with the, with the doctor and immediately just stark terror.

414
00:28:08,310 --> 00:28:11,770
And I said, well, how bad was it?

415
00:28:11,810 --> 00:28:29,590
And she said, well, um, when it first happened, when it first happened, I called and they said, you know, just put your, put your feet up and hydrate and just relax and you know, we'll call us in the morning and it's about, you know, seven o'clock in the evening.

416
00:28:30,110 --> 00:28:38,710
She said, and just as I hung up, then I passed two big clots and I said, well, what do you mean?

417
00:28:38,710 --> 00:28:39,670
But like, what do you mean big?

418
00:28:39,770 --> 00:28:51,010
She said, you know, like five, five, six centimeters and that was like, okay, now I get why she is handling things this way because this could have this.

419
00:28:51,250 --> 00:28:54,150
So yeah, immediately I'm like, okay.

420
00:28:54,950 --> 00:28:58,070
And you know, we've got to get her settled, bring her something to drink.

421
00:28:58,670 --> 00:29:03,970
And she, she talks to them and they're like, just, you know, is she in any pain or just this was happening?

422
00:29:03,970 --> 00:29:08,950
She just, she felt like something happened and that was, then that was it.

423
00:29:09,350 --> 00:29:13,730
And my first thing is get her settled and comfortable.

424
00:29:14,330 --> 00:29:25,770
And then as soon as that happens, this was one of the moments where I am clearly the more visibly emotional person in the relationship, right?

425
00:29:26,890 --> 00:29:29,330
I'm immediately a mess, right?

426
00:29:29,610 --> 00:29:31,510
Like I, she's calming you down.

427
00:29:32,070 --> 00:29:34,970
She's like, oh, you know, this is just, we have to do this.

428
00:29:35,330 --> 00:29:36,890
We'll go see them in the morning.

429
00:29:37,070 --> 00:29:39,830
She's feet up, she's doing her thing.

430
00:29:41,330 --> 00:29:51,090
And I, in that moment, realize there's absolutely nothing I can do, nothing.

431
00:29:51,810 --> 00:29:59,670
And I, in the same moment, I realized as long as this kid is alive, this is going to be my life.

432
00:29:59,890 --> 00:30:04,670
That there are going to be things that are completely beyond my control.

433
00:30:05,190 --> 00:30:08,730
I'm going to worry to some degree or another like that.

434
00:30:08,890 --> 00:30:12,810
You will sit in your worry without any, for the rest of your life, the rest of your life.

435
00:30:13,690 --> 00:30:27,590
And it was a bittersweet moment because to me, get a little choked up thinking about, because I want that, like in that moment, I think, okay, like sign me up.

436
00:30:27,590 --> 00:30:32,570
I will be like this, I'll be a mess like this for the rest of my life.

437
00:30:32,810 --> 00:30:34,390
Just don't take it away.

438
00:30:34,590 --> 00:30:35,550
Don't take that away.

439
00:30:36,690 --> 00:30:46,670
It was absolutely the, probably, I think without a doubt, I'm a very lucky person, I have a great life.

440
00:30:46,790 --> 00:30:48,030
I've had a great life.

441
00:30:48,210 --> 00:30:49,890
I have a lot of things to be thankful

442
00:30:50,590 --> 00:30:53,330
I'm also had my share of shit, right?

443
00:30:53,530 --> 00:30:56,510
I've been through a lot of crap and nothing.

444
00:30:56,510 --> 00:31:01,950
That was probably the hardest 12 hours of my life.

445
00:31:02,310 --> 00:31:03,970
I didn't sleep a wink.

446
00:31:04,130 --> 00:31:10,210
I'm trying to be supportive for her, but I realized like she, you're a mess inside.

447
00:31:10,350 --> 00:31:11,150
You're a mess.

448
00:31:11,450 --> 00:31:13,310
And I'm not, I'm not hiding it.

449
00:31:13,370 --> 00:31:13,530
Right.

450
00:31:13,670 --> 00:31:14,950
I'm not doing a great job.

451
00:31:15,150 --> 00:31:16,130
I'm not hiding it.

452
00:31:16,450 --> 00:31:16,730
Well

453
00:31:17,210 --> 00:31:22,250
But I'm trying, but she's being much more level-headed about how to handle it.

454
00:31:22,250 --> 00:31:29,370
And in that moment, the only thing you can do is pray, right?

455
00:31:29,570 --> 00:31:30,630
Like that's it.

456
00:31:30,710 --> 00:31:31,350
That's the first thing.

457
00:31:31,630 --> 00:31:39,910
Once she was settled, then this is like, okay, we just have, you know, 10 hours, we can find something out.

458
00:31:40,410 --> 00:31:46,990
But over the last two years, I've just started to become more involved in our faith.

459
00:31:47,270 --> 00:31:49,490
I've started going to church again.

460
00:31:49,490 --> 00:31:58,870
That brought me to starting to, have you ever heard of the, I should offer to be a sponsor in a free Hallow or you should have a valid.

461
00:31:59,230 --> 00:32:03,390
So I started praying daily with how I started doing that.

462
00:32:03,670 --> 00:32:11,230
And over the course of the last couple of years, that has been really extremely beneficial in general.

463
00:32:11,950 --> 00:32:17,850
So in this moment, this is a moment where I'm not going to put a really, I need this.

464
00:32:17,930 --> 00:32:18,970
I went back out.

465
00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:29,410
I went outside when I found out in week four, I was walking back in from, you know, it was a nice day, a sunny day.

466
00:32:30,110 --> 00:32:35,610
And I was walking back in from the carriage house and there's a tree there kind of by the side of the driveway.

467
00:32:36,210 --> 00:32:41,770
And I stopped and we talked and I hung up and I knelt down and I prayed right then.

468
00:32:41,830 --> 00:32:42,190
Yeah.

469
00:32:42,470 --> 00:32:42,890
Thank God.

470
00:32:42,890 --> 00:32:45,990
Thank God that I was so excited.

471
00:32:46,190 --> 00:32:47,190
It was a wonderful opportunity.

472
00:32:47,190 --> 00:32:55,310
And in that, that night when this happened in week nine, I just, it was, you know, by now it might be nine o'clock at night.

473
00:32:56,350 --> 00:33:03,870
And I went outside and I kneeled down on the wet grass and there's a big moon just by myself.

474
00:33:04,050 --> 00:33:04,550
I left her.

475
00:33:04,750 --> 00:33:04,910
Yeah.

476
00:33:05,210 --> 00:33:10,810
I look back at, I look back at the house and there's my dog Watson, what are you doing?

477
00:33:12,090 --> 00:33:17,170
And I just, I know I was, I was there as long as it felt right.

478
00:33:17,170 --> 00:33:17,570
Right.

479
00:33:17,850 --> 00:33:24,130
And just, just prayed and, and then, and went back and, you know, I didn't want to be gone too long.

480
00:33:24,190 --> 00:33:30,310
Cause she was, she was by herself, but went back in and that was it.

481
00:33:30,430 --> 00:33:32,850
It was something that, yeah.

482
00:33:32,850 --> 00:33:38,430
I think you released yourself to the higher, in our faith to God.

483
00:33:38,750 --> 00:33:44,070
Help me understand that and just guide me through it and make me strong enough.

484
00:33:44,810 --> 00:33:49,450
Whatever you're going to ask of me, just help me to be a strong enough to handle it.

485
00:33:50,230 --> 00:33:51,770
And, uh, and that, and that's it.

486
00:33:51,770 --> 00:34:06,050
And there was, there was a little bit of comfort there, um, in, in that moment, but it was, it was just, um, it was a lot of it when I wasn't just thinking about how am I going to feel?

487
00:34:06,150 --> 00:34:12,510
How will I support Kelly if this goes, if this goes the wrong way, how hard will it be for her?

488
00:34:12,510 --> 00:34:16,530
I know how hard it was earlier in the process.

489
00:34:16,830 --> 00:34:18,190
This is a whole different level.

490
00:34:18,530 --> 00:34:18,690
Right.

491
00:34:18,850 --> 00:34:19,909
Just to beat the fidget.

492
00:34:20,030 --> 00:34:27,230
You have at this moment, you have no idea if it's pregnancy on, pregnancy off, what's going on, right?

493
00:34:27,310 --> 00:34:30,750
You're, you're like, you're going to bed thinking anything can happen.

494
00:34:31,070 --> 00:34:38,550
As much as we talk, we have a great relationship and we can talk about anything in this moment.

495
00:34:38,550 --> 00:34:42,409
And I'm, I'm terrified that I'm going to make it harder for her.

496
00:34:42,570 --> 00:34:46,110
So I don't know what, I don't know how much I can ask.

497
00:34:46,290 --> 00:34:48,210
And she said a couple of things.

498
00:34:48,330 --> 00:34:58,690
So I'm trying to gauge because she's keeping it pretty in a pretty, pretty narrow, like, but she's not as I can tell she's distracted.

499
00:34:58,810 --> 00:35:05,790
I can tell she's upset and I can tell, but it's very, you know, we're just going to see if we're going to do what we're supposed to do.

500
00:35:06,030 --> 00:35:07,050
Very professional.

501
00:35:07,050 --> 00:35:07,330
Yeah.

502
00:35:07,730 --> 00:35:10,550
Very, very, very professional kind of analytical.

503
00:35:11,250 --> 00:35:12,670
This is what we have to do now.

504
00:35:13,090 --> 00:35:16,490
So I'm asking little things and, you know, what did you think?

505
00:35:16,570 --> 00:35:30,710
How, and she said, well, the clot was big enough that she, she touched it to see if there was something there, you know, I'm thinking the worst, as much as I don't want to believe it.

506
00:35:31,250 --> 00:35:32,570
Well, you're preparing yourself.

507
00:35:32,810 --> 00:35:33,050
Yeah.

508
00:35:33,150 --> 00:35:33,810
And I'm kind of, yeah.

509
00:35:33,930 --> 00:35:34,690
You're preparing yourself.

510
00:35:35,510 --> 00:35:36,270
That's what we do, right?

511
00:35:36,270 --> 00:35:42,830
We have to prepare ourselves if you're smart for the worst, so you don't fall off a cliff overnight.

512
00:35:43,110 --> 00:35:45,250
It is something that, look, I've been around for a long time.

513
00:35:45,470 --> 00:35:58,330
I've had a lot of wonderful things happen in my life and that this, those, the stakes were higher in those 12 hours than I have ever experienced, highs and lows, all the great stuff.

514
00:35:58,430 --> 00:36:11,010
All the most horrible stuff I, there was, I felt like there was more of my heart on the line in that moment than I have, than I have, uh, I have ever and it didn't make sense.

515
00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:23,750
And the thing is, that also shows that how much you want this, how much you really, you know, you're in it, you're like, this is, I know, I need this, I need this.

516
00:36:23,870 --> 00:36:23,970
Yeah.

517
00:36:24,090 --> 00:36:26,470
This isn't going to be, oh, well, it wasn't meant to be.

518
00:36:26,550 --> 00:36:30,650
No, this is a bad, this would, that would be very, very, very hard.

519
00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:43,750
So what, so, okay, so the night you're, you're taking care of your, your wives and really the only thing to do is we're supposed to go to the doctor in the morning.

520
00:36:43,990 --> 00:36:55,150
So basically, you know, we, we kind of spend that, we hang out together on, uh, yeah, I can try to watch a little TV to distract ourselves.

521
00:36:56,030 --> 00:36:57,630
We're emotionally exhausted.

522
00:36:57,630 --> 00:37:01,870
Both of us, um, we, we just, yeah, went to bed.

523
00:37:02,290 --> 00:37:15,830
So I think we talked about this in the last, I guess, my paternal grandfather, my father's dad died before I was born, but I have a few of his things somehow or another that got to me one, one thing.

524
00:37:15,890 --> 00:37:18,150
He was very, he was very religious.

525
00:37:18,430 --> 00:37:19,930
He was very devout Catholic.

526
00:37:19,930 --> 00:37:30,330
And I have one of his, his prayer books, it's in Italian, it's a whole, it's the mass when it was done in Latin.

527
00:37:30,710 --> 00:37:36,090
That's from, uh, I had to be from, from the fifties, I'm going to say, uh, it was 15.

528
00:37:36,570 --> 00:37:41,530
And I have that, I spent the night, I spent the night with that on my chest

529
00:37:41,970 --> 00:37:42,550
That was it.

530
00:37:42,910 --> 00:37:45,390
I think Kelly slept a little bit.

531
00:37:45,910 --> 00:37:48,310
I don't think I did at all.

532
00:37:48,870 --> 00:37:58,650
Honestly, the good part of this is, you know, we're in week 19, but so, you know, the story, uh, story did go the right way.

533
00:37:59,210 --> 00:38:08,030
Um, and these are things that make you the father, you're going to be, this will make you the husband.

534
00:38:08,290 --> 00:38:24,010
You need to be just thinking of what you said, the reason why every year, nine months a year, we take out our wedding video is to remind ourselves that we started this together.

535
00:38:24,530 --> 00:38:38,670
If you don't have a strong marriage, things like that could have went south are, are going to be, you're going to, you're going to meet them things in your, in your time, the stronger your marriage is, you'll get through that.

536
00:38:38,890 --> 00:38:50,470
It might not be pretty all the time, but that's why I remind myself or we remind ourselves, Hey, remember this day, remember why we're married and we still feel that way.

537
00:38:50,830 --> 00:38:57,110
So when bad things happen, my wife and I know that we're strong enough that we're not going to go against each other.

538
00:38:57,390 --> 00:38:57,510
Yep.

539
00:38:58,310 --> 00:39:01,230
Because of the goods, because you have kept all the good stuff close.

540
00:39:01,890 --> 00:39:06,110
We, the first important thing was me and her, we had no kids before that.

541
00:39:06,170 --> 00:39:06,350
Yep.

542
00:39:06,870 --> 00:39:07,110
Yeah.

543
00:39:07,350 --> 00:39:07,590
Right.

544
00:39:07,670 --> 00:39:13,110
I mean, as much as I love my kids and grand, I mean, obviously now it'd be, anything would be devastating.

545
00:39:13,410 --> 00:39:13,730
Sure.

546
00:39:13,870 --> 00:39:18,050
But, but at that moment, let's say I, you know, we went through that moment.

547
00:39:18,230 --> 00:39:18,630
Let's say that.

548
00:39:18,870 --> 00:39:19,070
Yeah.

549
00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:32,170
I know I can go back and go, we have a strong marriage and maybe I'll get into it in the, in the future on this podcast that, you know, I struggled with a lot of stuff with my, my, my wife and I went through a lot of stuff, right.

550
00:39:32,450 --> 00:39:33,190
Medical wise.

551
00:39:33,410 --> 00:39:36,550
And if we weren't strong, you're not making it through that.

552
00:39:36,710 --> 00:39:36,850
No.

553
00:39:37,290 --> 00:39:42,030
So, so I'm, I'm, when you said, what can I do at that moment?

554
00:39:42,490 --> 00:39:45,430
The only thing you can do is make sure your wife.

555
00:39:46,130 --> 00:39:47,950
And you are in a good place.

556
00:39:48,090 --> 00:39:48,230
Yeah.

557
00:39:48,450 --> 00:39:50,930
I think that that's one of the things that I, I joke.

558
00:39:52,730 --> 00:40:00,510
The father with a son, the father's role is to kind of point the kid out of the world and have help him to figure out how it works.

559
00:40:00,950 --> 00:40:09,670
A father with a daughter is to show that little girl what she needs to look for by how you treat your wife.

560
00:40:09,790 --> 00:40:10,050
Exactly.

561
00:40:10,390 --> 00:40:10,670
Right.

562
00:40:10,670 --> 00:40:13,430
So I'm like, I told Kelly

563
00:40:13,570 --> 00:40:14,330
You're so lucky.

564
00:40:14,490 --> 00:40:23,810
Cause now I'm like, now I have another set of eyes on me that I have to, like, I, I am very motivated to, to do that.

565
00:40:23,870 --> 00:40:38,430
And I do think I was, I do think too, you know, when you see different couples and different families and situations, and I have seen that in the past where they have kids and all of a sudden it becomes like a team sport.

566
00:40:38,530 --> 00:40:38,770
Right.

567
00:40:38,770 --> 00:40:45,790
It's not mom and dad anymore, but it's like the mom and the daughter to separate.

568
00:40:46,230 --> 00:40:54,310
And I don't think it should be that people become immediately so focused on the kid that it forget, they forget about the other.

569
00:40:54,650 --> 00:41:00,050
And the kid ends up with this, this idea that everything should be focused on me.

570
00:41:00,230 --> 00:41:00,470
Yeah.

571
00:41:00,750 --> 00:41:00,850
Yeah.

572
00:41:00,850 --> 00:41:02,790
I mean, that's not, that's not great either.

573
00:41:02,790 --> 00:41:08,150
You have to have that balance of you're still a married couple.

574
00:41:08,310 --> 00:41:10,310
You're still, you know, a unit.

575
00:41:11,190 --> 00:41:14,930
It's gotten bigger with the kids, but you can't forget who you are.

576
00:41:15,470 --> 00:41:19,070
And I see pictures of I'm Jimmy's dad shirts.

577
00:41:19,250 --> 00:41:20,150
You ever see those things?

578
00:41:20,570 --> 00:41:22,050
You know, I'm Susie's mom.

579
00:41:22,410 --> 00:41:23,210
And it's like, that's great.

580
00:41:23,230 --> 00:41:24,670
But you're also Susie.

581
00:41:24,870 --> 00:41:25,050
Yeah.

582
00:41:25,210 --> 00:41:26,530
My son is my hero.

583
00:41:26,690 --> 00:41:26,830
Yeah.

584
00:41:26,910 --> 00:41:27,450
You're an idiot.

585
00:41:28,810 --> 00:41:29,090
No.

586
00:41:29,630 --> 00:41:30,110
Yeah.

587
00:41:30,270 --> 00:41:31,290
Be the hero for your kid

588
00:41:31,290 --> 00:41:31,570
Exactly.

589
00:41:31,570 --> 00:41:36,490
A lot of kids are being raised by single parents or divorced parents.

590
00:41:36,670 --> 00:41:38,950
And, and that's a whole different thing we can get into.

591
00:41:39,050 --> 00:41:41,430
And we're lucky that we, you know, we have our parents.

592
00:41:41,570 --> 00:41:52,350
They, you know, I saw a married couple good or bad, but, um, and my kids are seeing a married couple and maybe to them, that's what they need to do.

593
00:41:52,470 --> 00:41:59,470
And, and when they're married, it's not a joke and it's not like, oh, well, you know, if this goes bad, it teaches them stuff.

594
00:41:59,470 --> 00:42:00,910
Like this is how I grew up.

595
00:42:00,950 --> 00:42:02,150
This is what's comfortable to me.

596
00:42:02,370 --> 00:42:04,690
I'll do anything I can to make a good eye.

597
00:42:05,250 --> 00:42:09,830
I'm not saying that single parents are worse off or not.

598
00:42:09,890 --> 00:42:16,070
I'm just saying when they see, like you said, when they see it from the house, then they say, okay, I want to do that.

599
00:42:16,190 --> 00:42:17,610
I want to become that as well.

600
00:42:17,770 --> 00:42:23,890
But at least having a vision of mom, dad, I'm not being spoiled.

601
00:42:24,010 --> 00:42:24,870
I'm not the main thing.

602
00:42:25,010 --> 00:42:27,470
They still live their life and they take care of me.

603
00:42:27,470 --> 00:42:28,270
Right.

604
00:42:29,110 --> 00:42:29,550
You need that.

605
00:42:29,610 --> 00:42:34,410
You need more of that, you know, now more than ever, the family values has to come back.

606
00:42:34,590 --> 00:42:38,270
We have to have some sort of value of the house.

607
00:42:38,610 --> 00:42:46,130
I'm glad I came around to this before this happened, because I know it'll make me better back at what I need to do.

608
00:42:46,470 --> 00:42:53,350
So we, that was a tough week, but then, you know, maybe through the night, went to the doctor, I'm a mess.

609
00:42:53,350 --> 00:42:59,470
And they, we get into the room, they get us right in seven in the morning, ultrasound fires it up.

610
00:42:59,630 --> 00:43:02,050
And they're like, yeah, no, everything's okay.

611
00:43:02,490 --> 00:43:13,610
I have this, this is one of those things that I know in myself is that I automatically assume people don't know what they're doing.

612
00:43:14,830 --> 00:43:15,970
I'm seeing them the thing.

613
00:43:16,090 --> 00:43:17,330
I'm like, yeah, I'm seeing a new blob.

614
00:43:18,050 --> 00:43:20,730
There's no movement in my head.

615
00:43:20,730 --> 00:43:23,850
So I'm immediately looking at the blob is not moving.

616
00:43:24,730 --> 00:43:27,210
I don't see the jazz hands and I don't hear a heartbeat.

617
00:43:27,530 --> 00:43:29,190
And she's like, oh yeah, everything's fine.

618
00:43:29,430 --> 00:43:31,010
And I'm like, is there a heartbeat?

619
00:43:31,370 --> 00:43:31,730
Oh yeah.

620
00:43:32,210 --> 00:43:32,970
I don't hear it.

621
00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:34,510
She took the switch.

622
00:43:34,670 --> 00:43:35,250
Volume's off.

623
00:43:36,250 --> 00:43:46,570
There's the heartbeat and there's the immediate sense of, of overly, and the ultrasound techs like, see the little shit just decided to scare the hell out of you.

624
00:43:47,050 --> 00:43:49,950
And I was like, yeah, I was sure as hell.

625
00:43:50,730 --> 00:43:52,070
And in that moment

626
00:43:52,290 --> 00:43:53,650
We're both so relieved.

627
00:43:54,010 --> 00:43:55,830
And they're so casual about it.

628
00:43:55,830 --> 00:43:58,190
I was going to say, they're calling the little shit earlier.

629
00:43:58,650 --> 00:43:58,790
Yeah.

630
00:43:59,030 --> 00:44:00,010
You would, they slept off.

631
00:44:00,390 --> 00:44:03,930
I guess in the last 12 hours, the worst 12 years of my life.

632
00:44:04,190 --> 00:44:07,770
And this woman's like, okay, so next week we're going to pick up right.

633
00:44:07,910 --> 00:44:08,210
Exactly.

634
00:44:09,090 --> 00:44:12,390
I'm not even asking you typically something like this.

635
00:44:12,750 --> 00:44:14,070
I would be all over.

636
00:44:14,230 --> 00:44:14,750
What happened?

637
00:44:14,890 --> 00:44:16,770
Why did it happen?

638
00:44:16,890 --> 00:44:17,630
How did this like?

639
00:44:17,630 --> 00:44:20,110
You're like, thank you.

640
00:44:20,150 --> 00:44:20,970
Let's go get breakfast.

641
00:44:25,790 --> 00:44:28,870
So it was like, no, it was a huge sigh of relief.

642
00:44:29,010 --> 00:44:37,030
But it was the two things that have happened since the immediate relief and the stupidity of not asking any questions.

643
00:44:37,530 --> 00:44:44,030
Like up as recently as yesterday, Kelly's in the, goes into to get ready for work yesterday.

644
00:44:44,670 --> 00:44:49,050
And I hear the water turns on , I'm on my laptop doing some work.

645
00:44:49,730 --> 00:44:52,850
And I hear her say, honey, I need you.

646
00:44:53,130 --> 00:44:56,590
And I didn't mean like, I think I was back to that.

647
00:44:56,690 --> 00:44:57,650
This is the closest thing.

648
00:44:57,730 --> 00:45:04,390
And it's happened multiple times since that it's, it's the closest thing I could imagine what post-traumatic stress is like.

649
00:45:04,870 --> 00:45:04,990
Absolutely.

650
00:45:05,230 --> 00:45:08,830
Because I'm like, I literally like tripping over the dog.

651
00:45:08,830 --> 00:45:10,270
You're right back to that moment.

652
00:45:10,430 --> 00:45:10,610
Yeah.

653
00:45:11,190 --> 00:45:13,250
She's like, there's a bee in the shower.

654
00:45:14,490 --> 00:45:16,010
We had the windows open.

655
00:45:16,850 --> 00:45:17,370
Yes.

656
00:45:24,290 --> 00:45:28,110
The week after I was very crazy.

657
00:45:28,270 --> 00:45:33,070
It's gotten better, but I still, if I hear that tone in her, in her voice.

658
00:45:33,870 --> 00:45:34,970
I have the same.

659
00:45:35,010 --> 00:45:37,290
I got the same with, with my story.

660
00:45:37,430 --> 00:45:44,150
Is this the day that you told me, because we were supposed to go somewhere and we, we canceled it.

661
00:45:44,250 --> 00:45:44,750
Oh yeah.

662
00:45:44,870 --> 00:45:45,070
Yeah.

663
00:45:45,130 --> 00:45:46,690
So this is what I found out.

664
00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:47,510
That's right.

665
00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:47,990
Yeah.

666
00:45:48,110 --> 00:45:49,590
Cause I didn't even know you told me.

667
00:45:49,930 --> 00:45:53,610
I told you before because we had a concert.

668
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:54,730
I'm very sorry, Kelly.

669
00:45:55,310 --> 00:45:56,730
But I told Carlo two weeks before.

670
00:45:57,430 --> 00:45:58,610
She should not know this.

671
00:45:58,650 --> 00:45:59,110
That's okay.

672
00:45:59,210 --> 00:46:00,070
She won't probably do.

673
00:46:00,170 --> 00:46:00,890
I think I told her.

674
00:46:00,910 --> 00:46:02,050
I think I told her afterwards.

675
00:46:02,370 --> 00:46:03,270
Cause we were supposed to go.

676
00:46:03,370 --> 00:46:05,930
But yeah, we were supposed to go to see the stray cats in Buffalo.

677
00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:06,470
Exactly.

678
00:46:06,570 --> 00:46:09,130
I was so shot after that.

679
00:46:09,190 --> 00:46:11,490
Cause that was, so that was literally, that was the day.

680
00:46:11,490 --> 00:46:15,190
So not only did you tell me something happy, you scared the shit out of me.

681
00:46:15,250 --> 00:46:15,450
Yeah.

682
00:46:15,670 --> 00:46:15,850
Yeah.

683
00:46:15,910 --> 00:46:16,410
At the same time.

684
00:46:16,670 --> 00:46:17,430
And tried to try it.

685
00:46:17,490 --> 00:46:21,970
Now I was relieved at that point, but it was all still very, very, very fresh.

686
00:46:22,370 --> 00:46:22,470
Yeah.

687
00:46:22,930 --> 00:46:24,790
We're kind of caught up to week nine.

688
00:46:25,030 --> 00:46:25,250
Yeah.

689
00:46:25,690 --> 00:46:25,950
Yeah.

690
00:46:25,990 --> 00:46:27,310
We're caught up through week nine.

691
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:31,950
So we've got another, maybe we can do another nine weeks next week.

692
00:46:32,030 --> 00:46:32,350
Yeah.

693
00:46:32,610 --> 00:46:36,070
And we will, and then we'll be almost caught up to real time.

694
00:46:36,210 --> 00:46:36,570
I know.

695
00:46:36,730 --> 00:46:37,530
So this is neat.

696
00:46:37,590 --> 00:46:40,350
I think this, this thing that we're doing is kind of cool because.

697
00:46:40,910 --> 00:46:46,110
I think we started a podcast saying the journal and we talked about videos and photos.

698
00:46:46,330 --> 00:46:56,890
And how nice is this going to be when you can actually say to your son or daughter, Hey, we started a podcast and this is how it sounded and you can listen to it.

699
00:46:56,990 --> 00:46:58,290
So this is a cool thing.

700
00:46:58,410 --> 00:46:59,050
I think we're doing.

701
00:46:59,310 --> 00:47:01,190
That's a, I think it will be.

702
00:47:01,230 --> 00:47:02,750
It's been, it's been fun so far.

703
00:47:03,030 --> 00:47:03,470
Please.

704
00:47:03,650 --> 00:47:04,750
If you've listened this far

705
00:47:04,970 --> 00:47:05,270
Yes.

706
00:47:05,910 --> 00:47:08,310
You know, obviously follow follow it.

707
00:47:08,610 --> 00:47:11,870
Like us on Facebook, check out our social media stuff.

708
00:47:12,350 --> 00:47:14,030
There's a link on our website.

709
00:47:14,330 --> 00:47:16,010
There's a contact page.

710
00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:20,170
Send us questions, ideas, comments, thoughts.

711
00:47:21,130 --> 00:47:21,650
Experiences.

712
00:47:21,890 --> 00:47:22,710
On me if you want.

713
00:47:23,270 --> 00:47:24,290
I'm a baby.

714
00:47:24,570 --> 00:47:25,690
Call me a big baby.

715
00:47:25,930 --> 00:47:26,870
We want to hear from you.

716
00:47:26,950 --> 00:47:34,810
We want to have all those other conversations about not just what I'm, I'm experiencing right now and what you guys have done.

717
00:47:34,810 --> 00:47:37,170
Interaction between you guys is very important.

718
00:47:37,590 --> 00:47:39,350
That will be fun.

719
00:47:39,470 --> 00:47:41,850
The other thing that I do want to say is.

720
00:47:42,450 --> 00:47:45,130
This will come out on that.

721
00:47:45,230 --> 00:47:46,990
If everything goes to plan on election day.

722
00:47:47,630 --> 00:47:49,030
So please go out there and vote.

723
00:47:50,170 --> 00:47:51,710
That's an important thing.

724
00:47:51,830 --> 00:47:53,090
People say my vote doesn't matter.

725
00:47:53,230 --> 00:47:54,450
Every vote matters.

726
00:47:55,030 --> 00:47:59,750
Otherwise, thank you for spending another nice chunk of time with us.

727
00:47:59,750 --> 00:48:05,070
This was a straight up to date episode.

728
00:48:07,850 --> 00:48:09,430
We'll start doing some other stuff.

729
00:48:09,530 --> 00:48:12,250
I've been collecting data on the diaper diet.

730
00:48:12,670 --> 00:48:13,650
Kelly's up two pounds.

731
00:48:14,210 --> 00:48:15,750
I'm down a little.

732
00:48:16,170 --> 00:48:17,690
So we got a check, please.

733
00:48:18,030 --> 00:48:19,610
Yeah, we're having some updates.

734
00:48:19,790 --> 00:48:22,710
A package just arrived earlier than I don't know what it is, but it's heavy.

735
00:48:23,490 --> 00:48:26,190
So we'll have, we'll have updates as we go.

736
00:48:27,210 --> 00:48:31,510
Well, folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.

737
00:48:32,030 --> 00:48:34,470
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.

738
00:48:34,830 --> 00:48:35,670
We hope it was fun.

739
00:48:36,150 --> 00:48:42,790
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of our future adventures.

740
00:48:43,370 --> 00:48:51,390
While you're at it, give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using.

741
00:48:52,390 --> 00:48:54,590
Have any hilarious parenting stories of your own?

742
00:48:55,310 --> 00:49:03,970
Questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at ghdc.podcast at gmail.com.