Old Dad - Prepared Dad, New Dad - Scared Dad : Episode 1

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This is the Gray Hair and Day Care Podcast.

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With a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ in that same range, your hosts Frank Cerio and Carlo Russo.

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I am Frank Cerio.

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I am 55 years old and my wife is currently 18 weeks pregnant with our first child.

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First child for her and for me.

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And I am here with my friend Carlo Russo.

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Hello.

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And obviously we want the podcast to, well really I want the podcast because I'm, I'm terrified.

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I have no idea what I'm doing.

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You just want me here.

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I just, he's going to be like my, my little blue blankie.

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I have, I've always wanted to be a father.

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I always wanted a family.

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It had just never worked out until, until now.

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But obviously it's a huge, a huge lifestyle change and, and lots to learn.

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And as excited as I am, as soon as I thought about it, as soon as I said, Oh, okay, this is happening.

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I thought Carlo would be a great, a great resource.

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Having seen, having seen him kind of go through everything, go through life with, yeah.

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It's kind of, you know, I want to do it because I want help.

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I also think what has been interesting for me is as I started to look and try to learn, there are these groups, I've joined these groups on Facebook, on social media, and I see the questions that are being asked and the answers.

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And there is a desperate need for guidance, for good content, right?

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Like the, the questions are scary.

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The answers are worse.

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It is terrifying.

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So I really want the podcast to become something that is interactive where people can email us and comment and ask questions and give advice because I'm going to be able to learn from that.

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And hopefully we're going to be able to help people because there's so much to think about, but yeah.

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So from your perspective, what do you think about this project?

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This was cool.

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I do a lot of this kind of stuff in my regular job.

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My other job, whatever you want to call it.

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So the minute Frank came up to me and said that he had this idea, I was absolutely in.

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I think the idea of what we're trying to do is going to help a lot of people.

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A little backstory of me, Carlo Russo, father of two, married for 26 years.

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My kids are at this point doing this, 23, and my youngest is going to be 18 in about a week and a half.

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I was also scared when my wife told me we were expecting our first, even though I was, you know, 30 something, I felt older at that time.

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I know a lot of people our age had their kids probably in their late twenties.

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I was hitting 33 ish, 34, and I felt old.

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So obviously what Frank's going to go through is going to be totally different, but the same as they say, age is just a number.

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Yes.

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You get more tired.

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You, you and the baby both need a nap or change the diapers, both of you.

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So we want to do this so we can, like Frank said, both learn because there's always a learning moment.

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You're never like, okay, I'm a professional.

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I'm done.

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I don't need to learn anything more about parenting.

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That's foolish.

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We're always going to learn.

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Can't wait to hear from you guys.

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And we also want to throw this out to not just older guys.

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We want to throw this out to couples, single parents, people that I know you were talking about.

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We have friends in common that I've had their children at a regular age, let's say, and now they're a father or mother of a three year old or four year old, you know?

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So we're going to get into that as well, which is a little different from where we're at.

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As you said, obviously this is your first, but we have some people our age that have their grown kids and then there have babies or two, three year olds.

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I think that's the thing that's going to be cool is to get different perspective, blended families, people who have done it that have kids out of college and still then getting into school.

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Right.

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And I think, you know, from my perspective, I think too, it's, we are a completely different generation, right?

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Like when you look, I was looking it up and seeing the average when I should have been having kids was a dad and a mom.

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The average was 27 years old.

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Yep.

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That was for a first time kid.

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Now, fast forward to now people who are having their first kid now, for some reason, the age of the woman has not changed.

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Mom's average is still right in that 27 range, but father's that's 30 made women are starting to prefer older men.

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Right.

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I don't know what it is.

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That's kind of where we are, but we kind of, we've worked together for years and years and we worked in different retail environments.

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And what, what I did was always that kind of retail operations.

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Now I work in a location based entertainment and with that kind of work over the years, I have gotten older and my employees have stayed the same age, right?

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I get older and they're, they just, yeah, it's like, cause it's usually, it's like a starter job.

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And, and when you think about it, I've watched the differences with these generations and hopefully, and I come from even more of a throwback.

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My parents were old, like I was a late in life baby for them.

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Right.

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So it's very, I think we can bring a different perspective.

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Uh, we're, I was just watching the other day, Bill Maher talked about how we need a return of the trad dad, the traditional father.

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Right.

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And I think I'm going to be, I'm going to be much more like that than, uh, you know, then probably an average guy now at 55.

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Right.

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I mean, at, at, at 27 and now 30, you might not know who you are quite, you know, at that point, 55, 56, you know, what you can get away with, you know, what you can, uh, um, what you can handle, what you can handle, what you can, um, you know, whatever.

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You just know yourself a lot better.

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So you're going to be a little bit more conservative because we're older.

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Yeah.

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You know, if I had a kid at 25, who knows how I would raise them compared to it, you know, at 55, when I think back, it's like, there's different lifetimes, right.

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Between, between when I should've had a kid and now I'm not the same person.

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I'm not even close to the same person as I was.

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We've had different planets.

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We lived in different plans.

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So may I ask you this?

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When did you, when did you feel or realize that you, you want to be a parent or you needed to be a parent?

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Cause I know for me, I knew if I got married, the next thing would be have kids.

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Um, but I don't know if I, you 18, 15 going, I'm going to be a dad one day.

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Right.

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Um, did you have that moment?

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Did you have something that said, I have to be a dad.

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I, I need to be a dad or I'm not going to be a dad, or this is not going to happen.

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I don't know.

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I mean, it was always a part of the, I think it was always a part of, you know, a part of life that I looked forward to.

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And I always said again, with, with my parents being older, I wanted, I didn't want to be the old dad.

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Right.

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Um, right.

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Like I remember from, so my, my dad was 47 and I remember, and we've, I've told you the story before I was in my backyard with my friend Brian and we were little like, you know, kindergarten, first, first grade age.

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And my dad came home from work and Brian looks and he goes in the house and Brian looks at me and goes, why does your grandpa live with you?

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And I'm like, what do you, and I, it was in that moment.

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I'm like, oh yeah, my dad's older than everybody else's dad.

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My mom was older.

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And, uh, you know, I always want, now I'm eight years past that with my first one.

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My father was 47 for his last one.

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He was my brother.

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My brother was born in 1950.

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So my dad was 28 for his first, which is 47 for his last.

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So, you know, with that, you know, your child male or female is going to probably maybe one day have that same experience going, Hey, why is your grandpa dropping you off to school?

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Yeah.

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Um, what do you think about that?

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Because you went through that, that feeling that, what do you think your son or daughter is going to be?

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No, no matter what that is like, it won't be as bad as when the guy that's fitting you for a tux says to your test, to your wife, you want your husband, you want your father to look good.

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Which I don't think I've ever told you that, but that did happen.

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And my, my beautiful wife, completely, completely, completely composed was like, that's my husband.

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But cause she, she looks younger than, than she, than she is.

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And I guess we need your dad to look good too.

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You know, you want your dad to look good.

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My husband too.

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So, so in facing that with my daughter or son, I got to believe, you know, it'll be okay.

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I know I can see it coming.

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I know it's going to happen and, and that, and that's okay.

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And it's interesting because I look, you look at what we thought was old.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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And I see these pictures of TV stars.

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When we were, when we were watching, when we were kids watching TV and red Fox from Sanford and son, he was 48.

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Right.

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When they made that show, I thought he was a hundred years old.

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Bob Hope was probably like 46 years old.

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All these people.

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I'm like, all of the golden girls were younger than us right now.

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And I'm like, what the hell's going on?

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So, so it's, it's a, it's okay.

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But yeah, I think that's going to be, you know, part of it.

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As crazy as that is even, even with us, my wife and I, we weren't obviously in our fifties, but we were in our mid to later thirties.

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And by the time we got to school with the kids and everybody realized their friends, parents were 10 years younger than us.

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I mean, we were 39, they were 29, you know?

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And that's a gap.

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Oh yeah.

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So I even felt it in people.

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And that's a big 10 years from 20 to 30.

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Right, right, right, right.

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Like that's not, that's not a little, there wasn't, I mean, at that time there wasn't any graze or anything like that where people go, that's your grandparents, but you could feel the difference going, Oh, that's your parents.

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Like, they're not like my parents, you know?

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Um, so, but again, I still say what we know now at 55 years old, starting this, you are so much further than, than I think someone at 25, 35.

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Um, and you've seen a lot of, I mean, you have nephew nieces.

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I mean, you've seen it all.

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And like you said, you've seen my life.

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You've, we've known each other since we were kids and we went through life together.

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I mean, there's gaps of time that we weren't, but we pick up right where we left off and you see the, you know, the marriage and the kids and this stuff.

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So, and hopefully this journey will be helpful for you and myself because I'm still a parent.

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I'm still a parent of a, you know, 18 year old to be a 23 year old.

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They're never, you're never going to be, they're never going to be old enough for you to go.

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Okay.

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I punch out.

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Okay.

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I'm good now.

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I'm done now.

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They're always, you're going to be 90 years old and still worry about the same thing.

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Are you going to drive?

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Call me when you get there.

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I'm 57.

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It's funny because watching my siblings, my, my one sister doesn't have any children.

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My other sister has, has two.

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And then my brother has, has two and watching kind of the different parenting styles and, and, and how they are now with their adult children.

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And yeah, it's, it's an interesting thing to see.

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So, so tell us more, more about like your story, your back, your family, your, okay.

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So I come from, I guess the, let's say traditional American dream scenario.

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I was born in Italy.

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I came here in the seventies, my mom and dad, traditional family, mom and dad, and my older brother and myself, we came over, moved to this area, haven't really left in 50 plus years.

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Do you know why, why did, why Syracuse?

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Why did your family end up?

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So we're based in Syracuse, outside of Syracuse.

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At the time, Syracuse had a lot of industries, factories, jobs.

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My, my mom's brother and sister immigrated to New York city.

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Once Syracuse with all the, you know, Chrysler jam and all that stuff and just factories, people were making some money and they just moved where the money was.

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They wanted to get out of, I think the city.

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That makes sense.

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And, you know, as they, you know, compared to New York city, this is the suburbs, the country actually.

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And I think that's, that's where they settled.

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And they, you know, they, they, yeah, they got their families.

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So when we came over, uh, mom, dad, older brother, myself, old school.

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And when I say old school, the traditional dad goes to work.

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Mom was home.

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Uh, when we were younger, when we got a little older, she started working at this company that made suits.

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She was a seamstress.

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My dad, all old Italian ladies in my family worked at work there.

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Exactly.

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I mean, you say the word in Syracuse of the place, everybody knows it.

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Uh, and my father, he was a carpenter or a woods, a woodworker.

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He came a casket maker.

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I always see.

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That isn't a euphemism.

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He didn't kill people.

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He did a Sicilian.

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Yeah.

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That's so in my, in my regular job, that's one of my jokes.

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I say is a Sicilian that makes caskets.

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You, you can put the joke anywhere you want.

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Either way, it's going to work out for him.

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So, uh, he was, my dad was, um, probably like your dad.

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He showed his love in different ways by, um, I'm going to go to work, small things, you know, I'm going to, I'm going to go to work.

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I'm going to have a house and provide a warm house for you guys.

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I am going to have food on the table.

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I'm not going to cook it, but I'm going to provide it.

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And, um, and that's it.

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Don't ever get in trouble because, uh, you're going to be stuck in jail.

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Cause I won't get you.

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He's that kind of guy.

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Very, you know, you know what he's giving.

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And I always thought as a child that he was a angry man and he didn't quite like us, love us.

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I don't know what word you want to use.

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As I grew up, as I get older, obviously I know my dad loves us and that's what he knew how to provide.

215
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That's what he knew what to do as a father.

216
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:56,900
As I said, he probably had less than what he gave us.

217
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:57,780
Right.

218
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:58,300
Yeah.

219
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:05,100
So as an older gentleman, I realized he did exactly what he thought he was going to do correctly.

220
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,560
Um, as a result, and I think he did pretty well.

221
00:16:08,340 --> 00:16:11,500
And my mom, traditional mom, again, the cooking, the cleaning.

222
00:16:11,760 --> 00:16:13,880
And then, like I said, she would go to work.

223
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:19,520
So the funny thing is at 40, my mom had my younger brother.

224
00:16:19,820 --> 00:16:25,820
So in this weird way, we're talking about my brother now is going to be 50 years old.

225
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:32,240
So that's 50 years ago, you know, 40 year olds were having babies, of course.

226
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:37,980
So this is not new what you're doing, but at the same time, very new for you.

227
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:52,080
So, um, maybe this would give you some comfort that even without technology that they had 50 years ago and all this information and all this, you know, thing people were doing it.

228
00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:53,880
So you're way ahead.

229
00:16:54,300 --> 00:17:00,480
You're going to have technology and books and people and, and family and all that good stuff.

230
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,700
And I don't think you worry about that, right?

231
00:17:02,740 --> 00:17:05,859
I don't think what is your worry?

232
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,700
The biggest thing, like right now, I'm going to be a father, right?

233
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:16,400
What is your main thing that you go at night and go, Oh, I got to do this.

234
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:27,300
You know, there's, there's lots of the things that I think about immediately are number one, just the kind of the physical challenges of it, right?

235
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:34,860
Like I'm 55, I'm not 25, running around with a kid, they're going to all rolling around on the floor, uh, like doing all that.

236
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:47,200
So I think about, I think about that stuff and, and just generally, I think I, you know, it's one of those things I have always, I don't know why, but even as a kid, I always understood.

237
00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:50,420
I always thought I didn't, I never understood.

238
00:17:50,700 --> 00:17:52,140
My mom didn't work like yours.

239
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:53,520
She, she, she stayed home.

240
00:17:53,780 --> 00:18:07,160
I never understood why women wanted to work because it always seemed very apparent to me that a mother has the most impact on people's lives in the long run.

241
00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:11,680
How could you, what, what job is more important than that?

242
00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:23,260
And so, so I've always, when you break it down, like you are shaping the next generation of humans, like there's nothing more important than that.

243
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:29,680
So for me, I seeing a mother that way as a father, I just want to do a good job, right?

244
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:36,560
I know I spent as many people, I'm sure do when you, when you leave home, I left home at 18.

245
00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:41,780
When you leave home, you think that your family is uniquely screwed up.

246
00:18:41,940 --> 00:18:44,640
Like you were the only ones that are messed up.

247
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:44,920
Right.

248
00:18:44,980 --> 00:18:47,820
And then you meet people and you find out, Oh no, everybody is.

249
00:18:47,940 --> 00:18:56,060
And then you get older and you realize, Oh, my crazy was the good crazy compared to what else is out there.

250
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:07,020
So that, that, that perspective, but basically it's just, I want to do a good job and, and I want, you know, and thinking about just, I just want to be a good, I want to be a good parent.

251
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:08,000
That's all.

252
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,300
And I want, I want to, I want to do better.

253
00:19:10,380 --> 00:19:16,060
Just like you said with your dad, your dad did the best he could and did a good job.

254
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,760
He had a, he had a paradigm that this is what a father does.

255
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:21,440
And he did it.

256
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:29,240
You have having experienced the other, the business end of that fatherhood, you came up with your paradigm and you lived up to that.

257
00:19:29,420 --> 00:19:34,600
And, and how we come up with that is a little of going to the past.

258
00:19:34,980 --> 00:19:35,380
Okay.

259
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:45,260
As a child, as a young adult, what was I lacking from my parents with my either dad, my mom, um, what, what did I need more?

260
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:46,240
What did I need less?

261
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:47,920
Uh, what worked, what didn't.

262
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:54,620
And you come up with your own strategy of what your ideal father is or parenting is.

263
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,740
Uh, so without that, a lot of people, you think like, Oh my God, why'd I have to go through that?

264
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:02,480
You have to go through that bad, good and different.

265
00:20:02,580 --> 00:20:05,220
You have to, so you know what makes you comfortable?

266
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:05,980
It makes you thrive.

267
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:13,120
What makes you, what makes you, that's what makes you, but you were saying something about worrying at your age.

268
00:20:13,140 --> 00:20:31,080
And again, this doesn't apply for everybody, but for you, a big thing, when I became a father for the first time, my fear was providing, am I at a job that I'm going to be, you know, happy with, able to take care of, able to take care of it.

269
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,220
Are we financially set at the time?

270
00:20:33,380 --> 00:20:34,460
I did not own a house.

271
00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:36,360
We were in my parents home.

272
00:20:36,780 --> 00:20:37,940
I was going to be a father.

273
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,420
I was 30 some odd years old, 33, 34.

274
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:48,320
So buying a house, having life insurance, all that stuff is on my shoulders.

275
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:52,060
And I think you're walking into that without that.

276
00:20:52,180 --> 00:20:55,100
We have a completely, we're very lucky.

277
00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:57,860
We are in a completely different place than that.

278
00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,660
We don't have to, none of that is even a thought, right?

279
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,900
We can, we don't have to, I don't have to think about those things.

280
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:09,300
You know, my wife has her own career and I have mine.

281
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,520
We were set for in that, in those ways.

282
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:18,080
But I say that because you're in that situation and that's going to work or not work.

283
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:22,040
You're going to have other, but I don't want people listening to this going, well, yeah, great.

284
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,860
He's got, listen, I didn't and it worked out.

285
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,180
So if you're in my scenario, you could still come to this 20 years later.

286
00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:31,400
I own my own house.

287
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:37,380
I have kids in college and both paths can lead to where we're at right now.

288
00:21:37,540 --> 00:21:43,440
So that's why I also want to tell people that are listening that are 25, 35 and don't have what you have getting into it.

289
00:21:43,580 --> 00:21:56,260
And honestly, like I've seen that, like I see it now with some, with, with a lot of people, you know, in my extended family, friends, I'm more concerned.

290
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,940
We talk about it already.

291
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:05,240
We see not having to worry about a lot of those things is a trap in itself, right?

292
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:11,620
When it comes to a kid, when like that is one of the things I truly believe, like growing up, we didn't have a lot of money.

293
00:22:12,300 --> 00:22:16,700
Uh, like I wasn't, you know, there's always food on the table and things like that.

294
00:22:16,900 --> 00:22:20,540
You were clean, but yeah, that's it.

295
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:24,300
But like, but I didn't get the Atari when everybody got the Atari.

296
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:24,700
Right.

297
00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:26,600
I didn't have those things.

298
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:34,180
But the fact is when I look back at the kids who did, it wasn't a good thing.

299
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:34,560
Right.

300
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:43,620
Like I, I grew up with a very healthy focus on the future because that's where the goods for me, that's where the good stuff was.

301
00:22:43,900 --> 00:22:51,140
And I've known people that they had that, they had that childhood that was like a TV show.

302
00:22:51,280 --> 00:23:02,300
They had it and they spend the rest of their lives talking about and wanting to recapture that moment when they were 17 and got their first car.

303
00:23:02,460 --> 00:23:03,820
And they got to keep that going.

304
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:04,280
Yeah.

305
00:23:04,500 --> 00:23:04,720
Yeah.

306
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:08,460
They got to keep that expectation going of how I grew up.

307
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:14,220
And that's a tough thing to, like, we don't have far to go from where we grew up.

308
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:14,660
Right.

309
00:23:15,940 --> 00:23:30,700
There's one thing that I do want to pass on to a child is the feeling that I am, I've always, no matter what, you know, look, you get older, things hurt, you experience aging and in the way that everybody does.

310
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:40,380
But in my head, because of the way I was raised and because I was always thinking about the future, I always think my best days are ahead of me.

311
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:40,580
Right.

312
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:41,600
I always do.

313
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:41,900
Yeah.

314
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:45,180
And I think I never look, I, I am not, I'm with you.

315
00:23:45,360 --> 00:23:45,500
Yeah.

316
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,120
I'm not like member of high school.

317
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,340
No, no, no.

318
00:23:48,340 --> 00:23:48,940
That was then.

319
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,980
Yeah, it was great in its way.

320
00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:51,600
Oh, yeah, yeah.

321
00:23:51,780 --> 00:23:54,180
But my best is in front of me.

322
00:23:54,580 --> 00:23:56,800
And I think that a lot of times to.

323
00:23:57,100 --> 00:23:57,200
Yeah.

324
00:23:57,760 --> 00:23:58,140
Yeah.

325
00:23:58,260 --> 00:23:58,640
No.

326
00:23:58,820 --> 00:24:00,840
And your best is what you created.

327
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:01,320
It is.

328
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:02,740
That's a huge thing.

329
00:24:02,740 --> 00:24:02,920
Right.

330
00:24:03,060 --> 00:24:05,600
Like I'm going to be able to, yeah, look at that.

331
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,080
Like now I'm not thinking about, well, I'm going to retire.

332
00:24:09,460 --> 00:24:12,680
No, I'm thinking about I got to live 30 years.

333
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,200
It doesn't become about you anymore.

334
00:24:15,340 --> 00:24:15,620
Right.

335
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,500
And that's the thing that we want to with this.

336
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,720
And I think we're going to go into why we're doing this and how this is going to look as a podcast.

337
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,760
But it's not you.

338
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:33,200
And when you when when you're single, even married with no kids, it's still about you, you and your wife, our vacations, our home.

339
00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:34,720
Once you have that child.

340
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:40,300
And I think a lot of people do get into the let's get a dog first, because you have to realize there's got to be another.

341
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:42,400
You know, there's going to be something else.

342
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,680
You got to keep a living thing that you have to keep alive.

343
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:49,980
And I think pets is great with that because it takes you outside of yourself going, oh, I got to feed.

344
00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,020
I got to walk.

345
00:24:51,060 --> 00:24:51,340
I got to.

346
00:24:51,540 --> 00:24:53,340
And then a child, obviously that much bigger.

347
00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:54,660
But that's what you're going to realize.

348
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:55,640
And I think you already have.

349
00:24:55,940 --> 00:24:57,000
It's not about me anymore.

350
00:24:57,220 --> 00:24:57,980
It's not about me.

351
00:24:58,100 --> 00:25:02,900
I think that's one of those things that most people, because they do it so much younger.

352
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,720
I don't think I knew I wasn't past at twenty seven.

353
00:25:07,860 --> 00:25:09,360
I wasn't past myself yet.

354
00:25:09,540 --> 00:25:09,880
Right.

355
00:25:10,020 --> 00:25:10,220
Right.

356
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:11,960
I love I loved me.

357
00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:12,520
Exactly.

358
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:12,780
Right.

359
00:25:12,780 --> 00:25:13,360
What you should write.

360
00:25:13,500 --> 00:25:14,860
That's why you did what you did.

361
00:25:14,900 --> 00:25:17,260
But I think that's people typically learn.

362
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:22,080
I hope I want to say that you could ask my wife and she can tell she can tell you whether I'm right or not.

363
00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:30,460
I think over the years, not being a parent, but just figuring out life that I figured out how to love somebody else.

364
00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:30,660
Right.

365
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:31,980
The way you should.

366
00:25:32,140 --> 00:25:32,300
Right.

367
00:25:32,660 --> 00:25:39,300
But I think for most people, becoming a parent is how they figure that out, because there is this immediate like, oh, it's OK.

368
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:40,700
It's it's there.

369
00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:41,320
Here it is.

370
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,360
All of a sudden that flips that switch.

371
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:47,100
And some people don't figure it out.

372
00:25:47,180 --> 00:25:52,400
And that's why, unfortunately, you have you have people that I grew up with tougher times.

373
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,900
And yeah, because their parent didn't figure it out.

374
00:25:54,980 --> 00:25:55,120
Right.

375
00:25:55,420 --> 00:25:59,600
Their parents still has a selfish mode even when they had the kids.

376
00:25:59,600 --> 00:25:59,980
Yeah.

377
00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:09,300
So and we welcome them as well, because hopefully we are, you know, we're all kind of like misfits at the same time because, you know, nobody's perfect.

378
00:26:09,340 --> 00:26:18,620
Before we get into our structure, I really there's a story that you told me that kind of brought you to a time.

379
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:24,320
My family, very much like yours, where it's, you know, except a generation removed.

380
00:26:24,420 --> 00:26:25,980
So my grandparents emigrated.

381
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:31,960
They came here to this part of the like to this part of New York because it was farms.

382
00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:32,280
Right.

383
00:26:32,380 --> 00:26:33,360
They were from the mountains.

384
00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:37,820
They were farmers and they knew like they they could get sure that's how they got jobs.

385
00:26:37,860 --> 00:26:38,560
They worked on farms.

386
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:41,500
My grandfather was end up being he was a shoemaker.

387
00:26:42,340 --> 00:26:43,360
He found his way.

388
00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:50,040
My grandmother came along and and that's kind of how it happened, how my family ended up here.

389
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:50,300
Right.

390
00:26:50,580 --> 00:26:51,740
First generation Americans.

391
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:53,980
But my parents grew up during the Depression.

392
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,360
Very austere, very hard life.

393
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:12,120
My my my mom, I never knew it growing up, but hearing now stories from my cousins on that side of the family, my mom had a much harder childhood than than I than I was ever aware of when she was alive.

394
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:16,200
She had a very my mother was a sweet, sweet woman.

395
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:19,980
And she she was just a big kid.

396
00:27:19,980 --> 00:27:21,000
And she really.

397
00:27:21,420 --> 00:27:21,920
Oh, she was.

398
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:22,320
She was.

399
00:27:22,420 --> 00:27:24,360
She had the most childlike.

400
00:27:24,700 --> 00:27:25,780
Oh, that's personality.

401
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:26,680
She really was.

402
00:27:26,820 --> 00:27:27,500
She loved.

403
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:28,840
She loved Christmas.

404
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,060
She loves springtime.

405
00:27:30,340 --> 00:27:30,560
Is that in you?

406
00:27:31,360 --> 00:27:32,400
I hope you have a little.

407
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:33,220
I hope so.

408
00:27:33,240 --> 00:27:33,720
You love.

409
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,580
Yeah, I think.

410
00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:35,880
Yeah.

411
00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:40,460
Like, I think I've stayed 12 in my head my whole my whole life.

412
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,140
Like, I didn't get much further than that.

413
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:42,860
They got a little bit.

414
00:27:43,180 --> 00:27:43,800
But she was.

415
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:44,420
Yeah, she was.

416
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,040
She was a wonderful woman.

417
00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:50,600
And she I think she talked about the wonder like with Christmas.

418
00:27:50,900 --> 00:27:52,780
She knew her parents.

419
00:27:53,260 --> 00:28:00,100
There was no way she believed wholeheartedly in Santa Claus because she knew her parents didn't have any money.

420
00:28:00,940 --> 00:28:01,040
Right.

421
00:28:01,580 --> 00:28:03,160
I fall into that as well.

422
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,120
But somehow that work.

423
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:05,420
Right.

424
00:28:05,680 --> 00:28:06,780
So she and she.

425
00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:07,600
She kept that.

426
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:08,720
That's why she was always 12.

427
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:09,140
Yeah.

428
00:28:09,420 --> 00:28:11,920
So so she she she had that stuff.

429
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,420
But my mom and dad, I'm one of four siblings.

430
00:28:14,420 --> 00:28:15,780
My brother's the oldest.

431
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,140
He's 19 years older than me.

432
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:23,280
I was I always joke and say I was a failure of the rhythm method of birth control.

433
00:28:23,780 --> 00:28:25,720
I was I was a surprise.

434
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:32,260
But my mom was 40, 42, I think, when she had me in in 1969.

435
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,700
For me, I think the story start.

436
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:38,860
The story of being a dad for me kind of starts now.

437
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:42,300
15 years ago, 14 years ago, I got divorced.

438
00:28:42,300 --> 00:28:49,920
I remember I was at work and I was working at an electronic store called Ultimate Electronics, which is now gone.

439
00:28:50,540 --> 00:28:55,880
And I came out of the mall, out of the out of the store, into the mall to go to lunch.

440
00:28:56,540 --> 00:29:00,800
And there was a mother and her little boy walking.

441
00:29:01,140 --> 00:29:03,420
And I kind of turned the corner in front of them.

442
00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:10,640
So they were following me and I could but I could hear a woman was on on her phone and it became evident as she's talking.

443
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:15,280
She's talking to her husband and I hear her say, we're walking along.

444
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,460
This was within days after breaking up with my ex.

445
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:18,920
OK.

446
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:23,580
And, you know, still very raw, not really knowing what was going on.

447
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:27,880
And I'm listening and I hear her say, hold on.

448
00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:31,580
And I hear the little boy say, hi, daddy.

449
00:29:33,300 --> 00:29:35,940
And I went, that was it.

450
00:29:36,020 --> 00:29:40,560
Like I started I started crying in the I'm in the middle of the mall.

451
00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:46,280
Where I have worked off and on and I'm like, you know, anybody, everybody who knows me.

452
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:57,280
I've been around and I'm just crying, tears running down my face because thank goodness years later now my ex is married, has children, is in a great place.

453
00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:57,900
You're both in the right.

454
00:29:57,900 --> 00:29:58,900
I think she's very happy.

455
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,840
I'm very happy at the time.

456
00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:08,180
But at the time, what was hard, the hardest thing about that breakup was I thought that was over.

457
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:13,760
Like that was just like, OK, I might meet a girl, I might get married again.

458
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,560
But at that age, like I'm in my early 40s.

459
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:18,040
Yeah.

460
00:30:18,380 --> 00:30:20,020
I'm not going to I'm never going to have a kid.

461
00:30:20,540 --> 00:30:22,580
And that was super hard.

462
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,620
And I didn't realize how hard it was.

463
00:30:25,940 --> 00:30:30,340
You know, I moved on, it was a year after about a year, started dating again.

464
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:38,240
I think I had set that aside and then I met my I met my wife, got married seven years ago.

465
00:30:38,660 --> 00:30:39,680
And here we are.

466
00:30:39,740 --> 00:30:41,740
Yeah, it doesn't seem like time goes by.

467
00:30:42,500 --> 00:30:43,840
So here it is.

468
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,060
Then we're trying and we had our challenges.

469
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,400
And now, oh, here it is.

470
00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:51,420
We're going to have a baby.

471
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,080
The end game is here.

472
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,160
And I and it was in that moment.

473
00:30:55,220 --> 00:30:58,460
It was like I always said, oh, I knew it was a possibility.

474
00:30:58,660 --> 00:31:00,240
You know, I was younger.

475
00:31:01,180 --> 00:31:02,460
She wanted that.

476
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:03,740
We didn't she didn't have any children.

477
00:31:03,860 --> 00:31:04,620
We both want it.

478
00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:05,940
It was always part of the plan.

479
00:31:05,940 --> 00:31:07,840
We tried, had some challenges.

480
00:31:08,460 --> 00:31:09,660
Now here it is.

481
00:31:09,700 --> 00:31:19,920
And I thought to myself, oh, the only experience I could I could tie it to was it was like somebody walked up and said, hey, your mom, no, she's alive.

482
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:21,160
Right.

483
00:31:21,300 --> 00:31:22,340
I guarantee she was gone.

484
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:26,460
You know, she's like, yeah, and also buried it.

485
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:39,300
Yeah, it was it was that was never even though I knew it was possible and we were trying and all that, then all of a sudden it's like, oh, I'm allowed to actually think about all of those things.

486
00:31:39,860 --> 00:31:39,960
Yeah.

487
00:31:39,980 --> 00:31:44,080
And it was, it was a wonderful, you know, it was a wonderful moment.

488
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:49,660
And that, that was the first moment where I'm like, oh yeah, no, this is real.

489
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:56,320
Like I'm going to have to, I'm not, I'm going to get to do all those things and I got to figure all this stuff out.

490
00:31:56,500 --> 00:31:58,500
And then I thought I got to call Carl.

491
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:09,520
And that's what I think is the, the unique opportunity here as number one, I like to learn by input from lots of people, right?

492
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:22,040
And what better way to get input from a lot of people than to do something like this with somebody who look, when I saw, I think we had a very similar experience with our dads and seeing you.

493
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,680
And I think it was just, we were out on a, out on the boat.

494
00:32:24,780 --> 00:32:28,480
Your boys were with us and seeing and hearing you say, I love you.

495
00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:29,360
To your sons.

496
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:41,500
And it was like, oh, that's how that, that's how that, like my dad said, I love you one time and, and, and in my whole life, you got one more than I did.

497
00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:42,960
And so it's one zero.

498
00:32:44,500 --> 00:32:48,420
So it's still, it's still a close race, but it's hard when you think about it.

499
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:53,060
So, but seeing that and understand, oh, like this is, that's how it can be.

500
00:32:53,060 --> 00:32:53,360
Right.

501
00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:54,520
Cause you're no pushover.

502
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,480
I saw how you were with them.

503
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,180
Hey, there could be both of those things.

504
00:32:58,180 --> 00:33:10,700
I had both of those things, but in my mother who told me she loved me and I knew she meant it and my father, who showed in different ways, but who I learned other things from.

505
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:17,380
And so, so in thinking about this and then the opportunity to capture it, right.

506
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:31,280
To, to do something like this, you were the first person I thought that I would want to do what I would want to do it with, but I really like, I want it to be something that, first of all, I just want to share kind of what the experience week by week, right?

507
00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,840
We have this opportunity it's happening now.

508
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:34,520
Right.

509
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:44,320
And, and every week there is something happening now every week is there's something new and I'm, and as it's happening, I'm like, I wish we were already recording, right?

510
00:33:44,340 --> 00:33:47,600
Cause we're, hopefully we're going to catch up to real, real time very quickly.

511
00:33:48,060 --> 00:33:53,980
And, and as I experienced it, I can, I can share it, but also I know it's going to kick off memories for you.

512
00:33:53,980 --> 00:33:55,520
I'm going to say, guess what happened?

513
00:33:55,540 --> 00:33:56,580
And you're going to have a story.

514
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:04,960
And at the same time, I want people to be able to ask questions and kind of join in the experience and learn from it.

515
00:34:05,060 --> 00:34:14,639
It's important because, yeah, I mean, obviously we think we're very interesting, but, um, we need, you know, we need you guys to, uh, be part of this.

516
00:34:15,139 --> 00:34:25,480
There's going to be questions that we don't have because maybe we didn't grow up that way where a viewer said, oh, my, in my family, we did this or my, you know, my father wasn't, it wasn't absent.

517
00:34:26,020 --> 00:34:39,500
Um, how do I become a dad when I never had a dad, they might come into here and go, okay, even though we had our fathers with us, it wasn't the same as maybe my friend's fathers, or I really want that to be this podcast.

518
00:34:39,500 --> 00:34:47,699
I want it to be something that someone can come on there at 24, having their first child or at 54 or at 64.

519
00:34:47,900 --> 00:34:53,960
It's someone we can all, it's like one of those rooms where people have their meetings and they go, yes, I'm Carlo Russo.

520
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,020
And I have blah, blah, blah, blah.

521
00:34:55,139 --> 00:34:59,120
I want this to be like, Hey, I got to, you know, I just experienced in this.

522
00:34:59,260 --> 00:35:00,700
Have you guys ever done this?

523
00:35:00,860 --> 00:35:02,180
Have this ever happened to you?

524
00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:04,040
How did you get out of this scenario?

525
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:05,480
What do I do?

526
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,680
And if we have that answer, we'll answer it.

527
00:35:07,680 --> 00:35:08,800
If not, we'll find it out.

528
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,300
And that's what I really would like on that.

529
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:14,320
And we, we came up with some fun ways to get through this.

530
00:35:14,560 --> 00:35:19,360
I think thinking about subjects that we talk about every time, right.

531
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:28,260
So what just happened that we wanted to, like, I think what just happened, we're going to do that and it's going to be whatever happened that week, right?

532
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:38,620
Coming up in two weeks will be like the big, the scan that they go over all the anatomy, make sure all the parts and pieces are in the right place, all that stuff.

533
00:35:38,700 --> 00:35:40,260
So that's coming up in a couple of weeks.

534
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,760
As those things happen, that's what, yeah, that that's what it'll be.

535
00:35:44,940 --> 00:35:51,060
The other thing too, is we're thinking about and planning, which I think is going to be a lot of fun is check, please.

536
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:58,820
I'd like to check, please is going to be essentially, I already have the list of this, what we're spent.

537
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:00,240
I've already, there's a spreadsheet.

538
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:02,020
I don't want to scare any.

539
00:36:02,100 --> 00:36:10,180
What is my vision of this is I'm going to give my kid when they graduate high school, a bill itemized of everything I spent.

540
00:36:10,740 --> 00:36:19,220
So I'm just going to track every expense, every book, every like, the only thing I'm going to leave out is that we're spending some money on now is maternity.

541
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:20,120
I don't think that's fair.

542
00:36:21,300 --> 00:36:23,660
My wife needs, you give your wife that bill.

543
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:24,100
That's right.

544
00:36:24,420 --> 00:36:26,420
She can, she, she, she can take care of that.

545
00:36:26,500 --> 00:36:29,500
Uh, so we're going to do check please, which I think is going to be fun.

546
00:36:29,620 --> 00:36:31,500
I mean, and again, we do that.

547
00:36:31,600 --> 00:36:32,960
That part is a little humorous.

548
00:36:32,980 --> 00:36:36,040
I mean, that's, you know, it's, it's, but it's all, it's real, man.

549
00:36:36,380 --> 00:36:43,900
It's also, you got to think about it's amazing because everything we were looking like bassinets, right.

550
00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,000
And you know, you can get a bassinet for a hundred dollars, $150.

551
00:36:47,540 --> 00:36:50,420
And then I'm getting pushed ads in social media.

552
00:36:50,700 --> 00:36:52,560
This one, it's like, wow, look at this thing.

553
00:36:52,580 --> 00:36:55,280
It looks like something out of the bottom of like a space movie.

554
00:36:55,460 --> 00:36:57,840
It's like $1,500 for a bassinet.

555
00:36:58,180 --> 00:37:02,960
I jokingly tell my wife and she has a friend, they live out of state.

556
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:06,960
She is one week ahead of my wife, but with her fourth.

557
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:07,700
Okay.

558
00:37:07,700 --> 00:37:10,960
And so they got together, they were visiting.

559
00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:16,100
My wife comes home and I'm like, Oh, Hey, how, how is she's telling me all about it?

560
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,780
You know, that, that, the bassinet.

561
00:37:17,980 --> 00:37:18,200
Yeah.

562
00:37:18,540 --> 00:37:24,340
She rented one for her first and second, and she wishes she bought it.

563
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:28,600
So now I'm like, okay, so now we're in like the thousand dollar bass.

564
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:30,220
So we're going to keep a tally, right?

565
00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:31,660
It's going to be here.

566
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,620
Ridiculous, but it'll be, it'll be fun.

567
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,040
And I think it'll be, you know, at a slightly education.

568
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:40,700
And again, this is Frank's scenario.

569
00:37:41,380 --> 00:37:51,260
Look, there's, I think we should talk about everything low, medium, high price, wherever, and then whatever, wherever we land and we're going to talk more about that stuff too.

570
00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,540
So there's, there's check, please.

571
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:55,360
The next one is book report.

572
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:57,120
I already have a stack.

573
00:37:57,320 --> 00:38:06,080
Oh, I'm in my second, I'm already in my second book on how to introduce the baby to the dogs.

574
00:38:06,220 --> 00:38:06,700
Important.

575
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:07,140
Right.

576
00:38:07,140 --> 00:38:08,800
I didn't have to deal with that.

577
00:38:08,900 --> 00:38:10,080
I don't have, I never dog.

578
00:38:10,220 --> 00:38:11,280
So yes, it is.

579
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,760
And we're, we're working on it.

580
00:38:12,860 --> 00:38:16,120
And the first book was pretty, I liked the first book a lot.

581
00:38:16,260 --> 00:38:18,940
Second book, a little more tactical.

582
00:38:19,620 --> 00:38:21,960
And what was cool about it is it comes with a link.

583
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:27,840
You can download baby sounds and you play, you get, and it goes through step-by-step.

584
00:38:28,060 --> 00:38:29,400
So I will do occasionally.

585
00:38:29,740 --> 00:38:31,980
I'll spend a few minutes and I'll talk about the book.

586
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:32,680
I'll give you the link.

587
00:38:32,840 --> 00:38:33,440
Play the dog.

588
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:41,540
You can play them and see how I have the floppy ears and the collar for you, but so, so, and there's, I got a stack of books.

589
00:38:42,160 --> 00:38:43,220
To read a book report.

590
00:38:43,300 --> 00:38:43,680
I like that.

591
00:38:43,780 --> 00:38:45,000
I think we're going to do book report.

592
00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:45,840
I like that idea.

593
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:51,720
The other one that I think is going to be a lot of fun is the database, the database.

594
00:38:52,220 --> 00:39:09,500
I want to be able to talk to people that we know that are, have different perspectives, blended family, dads, dads who did, you know, we have one friend, Jeff, who has a daughter that's out of college and a daughter that's just going in elementary school.

595
00:39:09,560 --> 00:39:09,960
Right.

596
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:18,320
So I think having a segment where we talk to those people and I get advice from them and perspectives and stories.

597
00:39:18,440 --> 00:39:20,160
Cause I don't, I can't give you advice for that.

598
00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:22,780
I don't have a college and a baby.

599
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:24,220
So people like that.

600
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:27,520
Uh, we also have another friend named Dave that will be on here.

601
00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:27,740
Yeah.

602
00:39:27,740 --> 00:39:28,780
It's going through the same thing.

603
00:39:28,780 --> 00:39:30,260
So that's going to be interesting.

604
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:31,800
I think it'll be fun for both of us.

605
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:32,100
Yep.

606
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:32,860
Yeah, absolutely.

607
00:39:32,860 --> 00:39:37,600
So we have, so the data, the database, the next one, we're going to call crash test.

608
00:39:37,620 --> 00:39:38,020
Daddy.

609
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:39,220
It's the prop.

610
00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:40,320
It's going to be all the products.

611
00:39:40,420 --> 00:39:41,820
There are so many things.

612
00:39:42,180 --> 00:39:44,280
Eddie Bauer, $2,000 stroller.

613
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:53,520
I remember when I, when we first had our child and people who had that, we were looking at, at that time, toys, kids or us or whatever it was, the prices get.

614
00:39:53,660 --> 00:39:55,460
Oh, it's ridiculous.

615
00:39:56,380 --> 00:40:03,440
The thing that's honestly is disappointing right now is there used to be those babies are us, but that doesn't exist anymore.

616
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:04,460
Everything's on Amazon.

617
00:40:04,980 --> 00:40:12,880
That, and now, you know what I've noticed a little bit in the weeds there, the apartment stores are putting these stores within their stores.

618
00:40:13,140 --> 00:40:13,300
Yep.

619
00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:15,960
And I believe right now could be wrong.

620
00:40:16,620 --> 00:40:20,780
Coles has now babies are us or kids are us is back in.

621
00:40:21,100 --> 00:40:21,500
Oh, really?

622
00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:22,160
I want to look at it.

623
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:23,260
So Coles is one we haven't been to.

624
00:40:23,340 --> 00:40:26,380
We've been to target and walking up and down those aisles.

625
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:27,780
And it's, so that'll be fun.

626
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,780
So, and there's a million different products, all different ages.

627
00:40:30,780 --> 00:40:31,700
We can test them.

628
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:32,680
We can test them.

629
00:40:32,780 --> 00:40:33,820
We can do that stuff.

630
00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:35,260
So I think it'll be, that'll be fun.

631
00:40:35,940 --> 00:40:40,740
This is one I haven't talked to you about, but we talked a little bit about fitness.

632
00:40:41,140 --> 00:40:41,820
Here's the goal.

633
00:40:42,140 --> 00:40:45,120
I started a couple of weeks ago.

634
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:46,560
I need to lose weight.

635
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:46,980
Okay.

636
00:40:47,080 --> 00:40:51,260
So my goal is that as Kelly gains weight, I'm going to try to lose it.

637
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:51,760
Right.

638
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:53,120
So I'm down a couple of pounds.

639
00:40:53,180 --> 00:40:54,200
She's up a few pounds.

640
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:59,700
Maybe call this the scales of injustice, some of the debt, the diaper diet.

641
00:40:59,700 --> 00:41:06,420
I don't know what we're going to call it, but I think I'm going to, every once in a while, I'll check in and tell you, cause it'll be good for me from an accountability standpoint.

642
00:41:07,060 --> 00:41:07,320
Yeah.

643
00:41:07,460 --> 00:41:09,300
So we have the freshman 15.

644
00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:14,260
Is it maybe we can, the father, the father, we can come up with a name because there is that freshman 50.

645
00:41:14,500 --> 00:41:20,200
And I'm telling him when my wife was, I got pregnant for our first and second, um, daddy gained weight.

646
00:41:20,220 --> 00:41:20,720
Oh yeah.

647
00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:21,560
Daddy gained weight.

648
00:41:21,660 --> 00:41:22,540
I'm sorry to say.

649
00:41:22,980 --> 00:41:24,740
Um, I can see how that would happen.

650
00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:26,320
And that was before DoorDash.

651
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:27,080
Yeah.

652
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:30,720
We were, we were dashing to the ice cream shop.

653
00:41:31,140 --> 00:41:32,820
Um, and then they have cravings.

654
00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:35,060
I don't know if, uh, she has craving jet.

655
00:41:35,260 --> 00:41:38,980
No, not, not really any, any cravings per se.

656
00:41:39,120 --> 00:41:39,740
So that's a good thing.

657
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:41,260
You're going to keep yourself in check.

658
00:41:41,500 --> 00:41:43,240
I want to try to, I want to try it.

659
00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:45,640
Like literally if I could drop.

660
00:41:45,900 --> 00:41:47,940
And I know this guy you've done.

661
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:51,820
I'm good at putting on weight and I'm good at losing it too.

662
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,500
So I've been trying to make some adjustments down.

663
00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:57,420
I'm down like three or four pounds and I'm going to keep pushing on it.

664
00:41:57,820 --> 00:42:01,600
And then maybe one that we might do once in a while is the worry of the week.

665
00:42:01,700 --> 00:42:03,900
Like, what is the thing that I wake up in the middle of the night?

666
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:15,300
And we kind of said, you know, we kind of, kind of flashed into that, like not having financial, but there's going to be so many other stuff and that could also be a worry that somebody, somebody sends in, right?

667
00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,980
Like, this is what I'm, this is what I'm going through.

668
00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:19,940
There might be a segment for people to come.

669
00:42:20,040 --> 00:42:20,380
Heck yeah.

670
00:42:20,460 --> 00:42:23,300
Uh, that could be, that can be as well.

671
00:42:23,300 --> 00:42:30,500
And then one of the other things I want to figure out how to do, and I I'm excited about is I've always been involved in music.

672
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:32,140
I love to play.

673
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:37,000
I love singing the idea of singing lullabies to my kid.

674
00:42:37,260 --> 00:42:38,000
That'd be awesome.

675
00:42:38,320 --> 00:42:40,220
And I can't wait to do that.

676
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,960
You told me about an idea that you wanted to do with the podcast.

677
00:42:43,580 --> 00:42:44,500
I think it's cool.

678
00:42:44,820 --> 00:42:50,420
The, I think I, I'm what I want to try to do is find, I'm going to record lullabies.

679
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,160
Some of them are just straight up lullabies.

680
00:42:52,160 --> 00:43:02,380
Some of them, there's so many songs in the great American songbook that are romantic songs, but with a little tweak, you can absolutely see singing as a lullaby.

681
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,480
So I'm experimenting with those.

682
00:43:04,700 --> 00:43:09,840
I, well, knowing that I love the way you sing and play, I think that's a great idea.

683
00:43:10,420 --> 00:43:14,680
Um, and yeah, no, it'll be, it'll be fun for you.

684
00:43:14,780 --> 00:43:14,880
Yeah.

685
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,460
She had an idea this morning, which I think is a good idea.

686
00:43:17,460 --> 00:43:19,400
She's like, why don't you do brackets?

687
00:43:20,060 --> 00:43:20,760
I'm like, what do you mean?

688
00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:23,920
And she's like, well, you know how they do with, with, yeah.

689
00:43:24,260 --> 00:43:30,100
But that way there's a way for people, for, for people who listen to the podcast to weigh in.

690
00:43:30,220 --> 00:43:35,440
So I'll put one out and then another one out and we'll have them compete for the best.

691
00:43:35,460 --> 00:43:37,260
And then people can submit ideas too.

692
00:43:37,460 --> 00:43:38,760
We don't have to do 64.

693
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:44,220
No, we can start with eight and have, have two by two.

694
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:48,340
We'll vote and we can have like the ultimate lullaby contest.

695
00:43:48,460 --> 00:43:50,080
I thought that was kind of a fun idea.

696
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:50,700
Okay.

697
00:43:50,900 --> 00:43:56,140
Of, um, a lullaby that you created or that's already out there.

698
00:43:56,280 --> 00:44:09,360
And then we can have people, you get to, you get to sing it or, or I think I'll, I'll do one of each and then people can vote on which one they like, which one they like the best and we'll see what the ultimate lullaby is.

699
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:11,420
But I like that idea too.

700
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:13,800
We'll get our fan base and then we'll throw that out there.

701
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:14,360
That's awesome.

702
00:44:14,440 --> 00:44:15,940
I think that it could be fun.

703
00:44:15,940 --> 00:44:22,020
The more interaction we have and input and ideas and feedback, the better it'll be.

704
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:22,520
It has to be.

705
00:44:22,720 --> 00:44:24,360
We want this to be about you guys.

706
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:24,920
Yes.

707
00:44:25,060 --> 00:44:25,920
He's experienced it.

708
00:44:26,100 --> 00:44:28,720
We're already going to gain what we want to gain out of this talking.

709
00:44:28,980 --> 00:44:31,360
We want you guys to join us.

710
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:33,040
We want you guys to be part of this.

711
00:44:33,420 --> 00:44:34,720
We need your input.

712
00:44:34,820 --> 00:44:37,900
We need your, we need your help as well.

713
00:44:38,180 --> 00:44:42,240
So what do you think, what do you look forward to most?

714
00:44:42,240 --> 00:44:51,840
I'm really excited for both of us to learn, learn about what this is, what this, what parenting is.

715
00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:58,080
Like I just said, watching you and I've, I've known you, we were 18 years old.

716
00:44:58,200 --> 00:44:59,980
We're now in our mid fifties.

717
00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:06,560
I always knew that you, you know what you want, you know how to get there and you succeed.

718
00:45:06,720 --> 00:45:15,740
And I always thought, God, if he could be a dad, he would be awesome because we grew up the same way with our fathers and what we were lacking from them and what we wanted from them.

719
00:45:15,780 --> 00:45:18,860
And then we realized all the good things we got from them.

720
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:23,400
I thought that he's going to take that and run kind of like what I did.

721
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:34,300
So I, I'm really, I really want to see you growing into this thing that I've always thought you were going to be is a great father.

722
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:39,540
You've always proven to me that, you know, you're a great friend and then you get married.

723
00:45:40,020 --> 00:45:41,080
You're a great husband.

724
00:45:41,620 --> 00:45:42,720
I was his best man.

725
00:45:42,920 --> 00:45:43,780
I mean, we've done this.

726
00:45:44,060 --> 00:45:49,420
This is not something that we just picked up and overnight and said, oh, let's, you know, we have a whole life together.

727
00:45:49,660 --> 00:45:54,640
So that's what I, I'm excited about seeing where this goes for both of us.

728
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:57,280
And for people that are watching going, you know what?

729
00:45:57,280 --> 00:46:03,240
I started watching them and I was scared and I was, um, not even scared.

730
00:46:03,380 --> 00:46:07,260
I wasn't, I wasn't knowledgeable or I'm in that situation.

731
00:46:07,280 --> 00:46:08,580
I'm 50 something years old.

732
00:46:08,580 --> 00:46:14,780
I'm shitting my pants and I got to this podcast and I realized, oh, I'm not the only one.

733
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:15,320
Yep.

734
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:20,300
Like you said, when you were growing up and going, oh wait, I wasn't the only kid that grew up this way.

735
00:46:20,400 --> 00:46:21,280
There's other people.

736
00:46:21,600 --> 00:46:23,520
So that's what I want this to go to.

737
00:46:23,660 --> 00:46:26,620
It's kind of like a fun guide for everybody.

738
00:46:27,180 --> 00:46:29,000
And, um, I want to learn too.

739
00:46:29,420 --> 00:46:31,020
I think very much the same for me.

740
00:46:31,060 --> 00:46:34,160
I'm excited for two things.

741
00:46:34,160 --> 00:46:44,740
The first thing is the biggest advantage of doing this now for me is I don't care as much as I once did about how people, what people think.

742
00:46:45,320 --> 00:46:45,500
Right.

743
00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:46,040
Right.

744
00:46:46,140 --> 00:46:48,140
That that's, that's not so important to me anymore.

745
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:57,480
So I think I can approach this and be a lot more transparent about how scary it is and how, where many years ago walls have come.

746
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:57,860
Yeah.

747
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:00,640
Like I know, look, I mean, I know I'm an idiot, right?

748
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,540
Like I know, I know, I don't know everything.

749
00:47:04,220 --> 00:47:06,460
And the more I learn, the more I realize, I don't know.

750
00:47:06,540 --> 00:47:10,400
And the more I tell people I don't know, the more I'll learn because I'm going to figure it out.

751
00:47:10,560 --> 00:47:17,380
That's another thing, working collaboratively with people and working with a lot of people over the years, you can learn from everyone.

752
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:30,680
So I'm, I'm looking forward to the fact that maybe because I'm a little bit more brave when it comes to sharing all the things that I'm going to screw up, that's going to make somebody else, it's going to help someone.

753
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:34,980
I'm excited for the day that I'm going to be doing something with this kid.

754
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:39,600
And I'm going to think, Oh, that guy in Iowa said, right.

755
00:47:39,660 --> 00:47:41,540
And I'm going to try it and it's going to work.

756
00:47:41,720 --> 00:47:44,740
I want to learn from the people I do know and love and care about.

757
00:47:44,820 --> 00:47:48,800
And I would also love to learn from, from people that I haven't met yet.

758
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:52,100
Uh, and, and that's what I'm, that's what I'm looking forward to the most.

759
00:47:52,100 --> 00:48:03,640
Yeah, no, I, I think, and the cool thing too, is you can, how many years down the line, um, you can show your child, like, yeah, this is how I felt.

760
00:48:04,020 --> 00:48:11,620
That's one of the things that I thought of is if I do die, like in the next five years, at least the kid will have something they can look at and go, Oh, okay.

761
00:48:11,840 --> 00:48:13,200
He was going to be good.

762
00:48:13,420 --> 00:48:15,780
He was really, he was going to try.

763
00:48:17,740 --> 00:48:19,360
So gotta give it up to him.

764
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:21,580
He made a podcast for me.

765
00:48:21,580 --> 00:48:30,060
He did, but, but, but at 56, you're thinking, Oh, if I die, if I, I was thinking of that at 30, so we're all the same.

766
00:48:30,060 --> 00:48:31,580
It doesn't matter how old you are.

767
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:39,900
The minute you are taking care of something other than yourself, whatever age you are, you want to be there for the longest, as long as you possibly can.

768
00:48:40,680 --> 00:48:41,140
That's it.

769
00:48:41,180 --> 00:48:42,660
Well, then I need to stop eating ice cream.

770
00:48:44,660 --> 00:48:44,980
Yes.

771
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:45,880
I will eat it for you.

772
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:50,200
Well, look, thank you for, if you made it all the way to the end, thank you for listening.

773
00:48:50,540 --> 00:48:50,720
Yes.

774
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,000
And we'll get smoother.

775
00:48:52,260 --> 00:48:53,100
We'll get better.

776
00:48:53,300 --> 00:48:53,480
Yeah.

777
00:48:53,560 --> 00:48:53,660
Yeah.

778
00:48:53,660 --> 00:48:56,100
We'll get some, I'm going to edit out all of this stuff.

779
00:48:56,240 --> 00:48:57,940
The arms and eyes and laughs.

780
00:48:58,100 --> 00:49:05,420
And next time we'll talk, we'll start catching up on what happened between week one and week 18.

781
00:49:06,040 --> 00:49:09,300
And, uh, and we'll, uh, we'll go forward from there.

782
00:49:09,620 --> 00:49:11,160
I'd like to see that telly.

783
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:12,780
See, we'll start off.

784
00:49:12,860 --> 00:49:14,000
We might do check, please.

785
00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:15,940
As the inaugural check, please.

786
00:49:15,940 --> 00:49:22,620
And in episode two, Well, folks, that's the first episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.

787
00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,560
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.

788
00:49:25,820 --> 00:49:26,760
We hope it was fun.

789
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:31,740
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast.

790
00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:55,380
So you don't miss any of our future adventures and while you're at it, give us a like, share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using, have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at G H D C dot podcast at gmail.com.

791
00:49:55,460 --> 00:49:56,700
We'd love to hear from you.

792
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,120
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.