Dad Brain, Baby Names and Frank might be a Fainter : Episode 8

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Welcome back here.

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We are Episode 8 Frank episode 8.

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Yeah, and we made it all the way to eat We make we say that a lot and we made it to episode whatever number it is because again, we're exhausted I just finished literally just finished editing episode 7 Ah and now but we luckily we have that buffer time.

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Yes.

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Yes things done When you're editing because it's fresh to what we did the week prior so, you know, because I forgot already what we talked about Again, Kelly sits here.

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I'm over there right at a desk and I'm editing and I will ask questions and for permission for things Yeah, as we go through and she'll be like didn't you just talk like we're it's already all blended together I don't know if it was episode 2 right or episode 6.

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It's all it's all together

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Could you imagine people and us of course when we're on our hundredth or

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It's all gonna be more it's just did we say this already have we talked about this I have a spreadsheet

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Every episode every episode

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Everything we talked about so we'll be able to refer back especially now that I know we're gonna be doing I was wrong a lot

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Yeah, and there might be flashbacks into I was wrong.

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Yeah, I have flashbacks already So so that is there so we are welcome back Welcome back.

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So as always I am Frank cereal.

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I am 55 years old and my wife is now 25 weeks pregnant So the vegetable of the week this week this is where I get hungry there were two different ones because I and I don't get it because they seem to it seems to Me that these two vegetables are completely different size when I read it.

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Yeah, it's a bunch of scallions Size of a bunch of scallions or a head of cauliflower That's different I'm thinking about a nice-sized cauliflower and then the scallions.

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Yeah, it's kind of skinny.

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So how is that?

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Okay, I don't know that that's where we are.

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So I'm gonna go with a head of cauliflower.

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Yeah, that makes sense I love and so the the updates Developmentally, uh-huh.

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So she's starting to gain a little fat.

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She's getting a little plump not wrinkly anymore a little more plump Her eyes might be opening and closing really and she can see she can see light as much light as The almost all of the organs are formed and she will be Breathing in and out amniotic fluid into her lungs, but the lungs are kind of the last thing to develop.

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All right, so That's that's going on That's cooking up a baby right there, that's a yeah when they're starting to talk about it still but it's still too early like Like that's the that's the thing that would challenge be the challenges the lung development So when you know when they're a premium if you have a preemie, that's what I've got That's what they have to work on.

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But yeah, it's like that's That's a thing.

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That's awesome.

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So that's it.

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So week 25 cauliflower or scallions, which don't understand that but I mean, there's different sizes.

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I guess that's what they're saying.

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It could be maybe a leak.

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It's not a scale We're gonna change our own And their eyes are opening maybe eyes eyes are opening and blinking Whatever light is in is it could be a scene by the baby.

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The brain is Developing and processing senses Wow So hearing things we'll remember sounds that she's hearing now and we'll react to sounds Okay, and that's happened a couple times.

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Okay, so there is there is that 25 is a pretty good

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we're only

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well 14 weeks from

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Being ready right 39 is probably when then the podcast takes a real quick

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Once a month for 10 minutes and it's me crying

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Napping

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Still asleep

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We wanted to record today, but he just said no you guys understand it would be all video that I'm sleeping that'll be

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So that that's where we are

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the first thing as I as I

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Suspected uh-huh.

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I was wrong as a segment that is going to be probably in every episode I like I was wrong It keeps us it keeps us humbled and you know We just can't say stuff and get away with it.

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People have to call us.

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I like saying stuff and just

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We have it so I was wrong

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So I was wrong this one is directly from a family member one of the things I talked about in a previous episode

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Is the fact that when I was young because of the age difference with my my siblings

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That by the time I was in the kindergarten or first grade

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They were all gone and I was left with my elderly exhausted parents who were not super interested and I

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Guess that is not true.

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My sister Paula Very was very sure to tell me that she lived at home Until I was in second grade and she and then she actually triggered a memory.

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She said I remember even going to like some kind of a parent Lunch thing at Reardon Elementary School, which wouldn't have happened until second grade So because I was I was at Roxborough Kindergarten at first.

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Okay, and then I was a Reardon at second So, I don't know if you mentioned this or I just had a stroke Did you did you say what you were wrong?

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What when you said you left did you I said that I said that they were gone by the time I was in kindergarten Okay, and she was very offended by that Second grade but that does bring up Reardon Elementary does bring up One of the things that how parents were engaged in a different way when when I this would have been 1974 sure 75.

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I just got to the beautiful land of America.

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So there you go.

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So I had the same Teacher I think I had a room Like I had the same teacher for two years I think it might have been kindergarten was one and then I know I was kindergarten and first So it was like the first year of teaching for this woman and I wish I mrs.

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Laplante This is a name shout-out to miss is very nice She had us in kindergarten and then she went to first grade.

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So the class stayed with her Are you sure you didn't fail and just repeat the same way?

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But I don't think I failed but I told you you went to first grade but So, but it was kind of so is the same school Roxborough which was on the same side of the highway same time we're loving So you were going to like the North Syracuse school district Yeah, so we were I was lit if I had gone if I had lived one block further south I would have went to school with you closer to me, right?

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Yeah, but I was in North Syracuse

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So but the first two years at Roxborough and then the end I remember it was like the last day of school

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Yep, and the teacher was like, well, you know, good luck next year at Reardon and I'm like

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Shift you right out

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I had no idea that she saw the whole and everybody all my friends in the class

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Will all seem like they knew what was going on and I went home and asked my mother

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I'm like, am I going to a different school?

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What are you talking about?

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No idea my mom Yeah, she had no idea.

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We pretty much had the same parents because my parents had no idea What am I Are they going to a different school was your school closing?

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No, but they were realigning Oh, okay, the district had grown a lot.

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Sure and what it created a very unique Situation for us going through school because we kept going to different schools.

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So we were like We were the oldest kids in the school for fifth grade sixth grade seventh grade eighth grade Ninth grade like for three or four years.

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We were the biggest kids in the school.

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You're adults in that school so we like So, you know how that is in a school and then we went to the high school Which was Cicero CNS and that's just 10th 11th and 12th So we went from for four years being the big kids you ran the joint being getting our All over the school by these all of a sudden they're adults like these are like these are kids with beards It was very bad.

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Oh, yeah, that was it.

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But yeah, they have to be different.

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I hope you enjoy your new school Yeah, I think I think communication with parents if you didn't if you didn't have parents that allowed that, you know did to make sure Communications happen.

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You're gonna fall through the cracks our parents like my parents not even speaking English.

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Yeah, good luck Yeah, good luck that we even went to school It was kind of you know, it was kind of funny I remember but I do remember that so so that was that was from your Sister you were wrong.

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Now.

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I I did listen to episode 6.

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Okay, and We were talking about what was in the box.

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It was one of my test the Amazon baby.

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Yep, the Amazon Oh, no.

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No, that was the lemon Lululemon 17 l 17 leader not just model 17, which was also I was wrong.

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Yeah So someone said to us and I think you guys mentioned I think it was it might have been Kelly that you asked Four questions.

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Yes, you allowed me to ask four questions Yeah Now the idea was you were gonna give me three guesses and a shake and a shake You say you can do whatever you want with the box.

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I'll give you three guesses now Yes, was there four questions that he allowed me to ask Yes, but I believe when you said you have one more which would have meant the fourth question.

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I Never answered.

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I never I never asked you a question.

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I guessed the box I believe so it was you're almost they were right and wrong You did give me a next I allowed you for but you only took three only took three.

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I believe there's some controversy happening My lovely wife says you're full of shit She says I gave you four.

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Okay, so they're saying they're saying it's true.

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You gave me four chances They're saying that I asked four questions that there were that I gave that you asked four questions.

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I gave four answers Okay, I don't know so we're going to cut To something right now.

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Maybe it'll be a replay.

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Oh, we could do a fast replay with the questions That would be good.

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It all depends on my level of skill in editing in Premiere Pro if I've gotten any good I'm gonna make it look pretty because what I remember and I I you watched it.

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I watched it Currently, I mean as we're talking now and in real time and I said, okay, I see I see what they're saying about the fourth Question being given to me, but I never you didn't take I never took it.

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I believe I Want you to be right me, too But I know see I don't even quite like I didn't realize it Uh-huh, she pointed it out right and I didn't even question it, which is why I'm so happily married, right?

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That's why we have a podcast right we can talk behind their back and say it was for the show We don't really mean it.

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We don't mean it was for the show.

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That's right But I believe I think I'm gonna be right.

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I know this is gonna be like this could be your second strike

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This could be your second strike because

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Editing yesterday at one point again, I'm over there at the computer

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Kelly is sitting here listening listening judging and I'm I'm making an edit and she goes

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Carlo makes me sound like like Ralph Wiggum from Simpsons when you do when you do the Kelly voice

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It was you did a Kelly voice and it was some and I was like, yeah, you're right

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Wish I watched the Simpsons.

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I have no idea what that really really stupid kid So here we are to resolve The controversy frankly the controversy of the podcast of Across all these episodes.

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It's become a scandal.

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I mean, it's it's really people are talking about it all over the place I was at the mall and I heard people saying I think he was wrong well, so I we did the research, uh-huh, and I Watched rewatched it.

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Okay with Kelly.

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Okay.

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I was right there on the editing Kelly sitting right here.

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Okay, we counted it out Got to four.

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I said three offered four and you guessed you Were 100% right.

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Thank you.

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So you were completely exonerated.

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The asterisk is removed from Yes, watching him deduce what was in that box My faith in you is now restored you have returned to Sherlock status.

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Thank you.

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It was absolutely the interesting part.

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Yes the interesting part was Suddenly afterwards I suggested to Kelly I said, you know, you know you challenged this I accepted what you had said, right?

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because I trust you and Maybe you should write a little note that I can give to Carlo, uh-huh when we shoot next time.

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I thought that would be cute.

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I get a little apology.

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She's wrong.

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Well, okay Then the revisionist history started.

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Oh god.

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I never said that he and he asked for question.

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Oh you offered For question.

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Okay.

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So suddenly she agrees suddenly.

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She's a lawyer Absolutely, it was like a congressional hearing but I don't recall senator like I couldn't so So, okay.

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Technically, she's correct in in my heart I know what she tried to do and I'm glad that we were able to undo it so again, completely completely cleared a little victory lap run around and And there we are.

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I mean my crown the the controversy is over So So that was I was wrong and now again, I like all the segments I keep saying this is fun But this segment we're gonna move into now is the silver Fox mailbox.

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I love this segment.

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So and I'm Consult my notes because I don't want to get any of this wrong.

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So This is going to be kind of the finale of the name of the baby update, right?

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So this is you guys will be seeing this like a week before Christmas

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I think it comes out on the 17th of December

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So this is gonna be the final list and you're gonna be able to send in your votes

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Sure based on these and then I'm going to do a special announcement

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We'll tally up the votes and then either like Christmas Eve or Christmas Day depending on when I have a break from cooking

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I will produce a special episode of the gray hair daycare podcast

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Just so you can find out as a little extra Christmas present name the name that you the the viewers have selected

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So before we go further, the names are out there

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I see that I see everything on our page

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Some of them are shared in places where they are not super right, but I'm trying to I got one from our dear friend Dave

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This is that would be anyone are people voting on them now as we speak right there

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Well, what do we I don't we I haven't seen anybody everybody who has just submitted their

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Clearly recorded was yours for for Trina's submission of Madeline.

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Yes, you you have voted.

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Oh god, that's right That's what's leading right now because everybody's doing one Madeline is the only one with because no one votes, right?

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So mission and a vote get on it because Madeline could Be the name I'm asking the right questions, right?

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Because yeah, we're just giving you a name We're gonna figure out some way either of maybe a Google form where you can vote or something I'll have a link or a post that you can Because right now Madeline is the baby's name Madeline.

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It's true Against my wife.

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No, I know I completely understand.

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No, I think Did Kelly give a name no, I don't think we should do it we shouldn't weigh in I'm gonna be objective I'm like the Supreme Court, but my wife can yeah.

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Okay.

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Absolutely.

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So Madeline Madeline is the currently or so So Dave submission was a new submission his submission was Carlina Louise Carlina Louise, okay.

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Okay, so that's on the list Carlina Louis CLC Carlina Louise So there's there's that one.

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Yeah, the other new entries that we haven't really discussed up to now are Kathy one of our Facebook family Submitted Carmela Rose.

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I like Carmela.

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Yes, Carmela Rose Rose

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Anna

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submitted Gabriella Marie

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See Gabriella right away is out of it out of it for the real name out of the picture

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Because one of my cousin's daughter the Gabriella

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Gabriella Gabriella Marie submitted by Anna then Barbara submit submitted

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Lucia Lucia, which again for the real name because of my miserable grandmother and I'd never do that

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It's going to be but it's in there my sister Lucille

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submitted

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Sophia and

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With her also providing supporting documentation said Sophia is the most popular Italian name

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Sophia Loren

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So Olivia and Sophia you got popular names

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Yeah, Olivia is very popular someone named Mikey Mike who I suspect may be one of my employees

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Submitted that they think Michaelene is a very pretty Michaelene Michaelene is a very pretty name

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It's her name I think if it's the first

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Michaelene I've never heard that well, it's spelled like Mickalene.

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Yeah, like Mickalene.

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Yeah, that's it because I had a tizzy Mickalene So there's the so there's a Mikey submitted Michaelene and Then someone named Sith Lord spelled with a one is listening to our podcast they saw a video on tik-tok and they They responded but theirs was Admittedly the type of submission that I expected most of these to be which was a little less serious a play of words on My last name.

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Okay, he suggested first name fruit Middle name loop and the last name being cereal fruit loop cereal, which my immediate thought is like that That was the thing when when I was a kid that I hated I Was like cereal and they said my name is cereal.

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But anyway, so there's that and then someone called uncle Louie Submitted Jasmine or bubbles.

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I think I'm familiar with uncle Louie's work.

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Yeah and Between the two of us only one of us is ever gonna raise a stripper and it's not me so but it's still out there Jasmine or bubbles which actually You never know Bubbles or jasmine, so those are the new clothes of the new entries.

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I will rig this Bubbles Could you imagine calling your fake daughter bubbles because she's a fake daughter on this that would be hard Actually a pretty nice nice, but it's also a stripper name right?

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Well, you never know Rippers could be like the the new CEO's of that's true.

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You know when you're not only Entrepreneurs so and then the others that we already talked about in a previous episode last week were Mariela Madeline which we already talked about Francesca Kelly Josephine Charlotte Nicole and Chiara So those are the old ones.

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The new ones are Carmela Rose Gabriella Marie Lucia Sophia Michaeline fruit loop cereal and jasmine and bubbles so Those are the entry has been bubbles because people giving you two names.

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I Was he the two submissions I like one just jasmine bubbles, okay We can do it that way.

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So jasmine bubbles is the middle name jasmine bubbles cereal That'll be it and then we can call her jazzy bubbles So I Will put up I'll put up the full list so you can fully appreciate it We'll do a post we'll figure out some way for you guys to vote And then you can share the post with all your friends so they can weigh in and inflict whatever nonsense on me that you want to Okay.

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So now we're going to move on to the book report and this time I'm extremely excited about the book.

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You are I am because this is the first one is not about the dog These are humans and this is this is really the book that I can wholeheartedly say Everybody if you're having a kid, this is the book you should that's the number one request It is the number one best-selling pregnancy book.

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There's a bunch of others.

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It has been published

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I think for years multiple versions

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This is the 2024 version and it is called what to expect when you're expecting

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it is

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the author is

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Heidi

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Murkoff love her stuff and it's what to expect when you're expecting the all-in-one guide everything you need to know

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This is it's it's literally like twenty two thousand reviews five stars Wow

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So and you can see it is an encyclopedic

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Size is very very big six hundred.

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Yeah, six hundred forty four pages

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and and

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touches on everything

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Step by step by step week by week month by month

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What you're gonna be encountering I can say that because I had all the dog reading

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Initially, I started this after

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You know, we were well along and I wish I had read this first

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I would not have I don't think I would have been nearly as terrified when we had that scare really that it touches on

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everything it is literally just

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Questions of the way the book is formatted

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It's questions from mothers at different points in their pregnancies and then a very detailed answer about all the little things that can come up

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so

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It's great from preparation standpoint because you can plan you can also react a little bit more

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Intelligently when when weird things happen, and if something happens, it's almost like you can just go to that part of yeah

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Development and find the thing that's happening and there it is and it gives you these insights

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The thing I think is interesting about it is over the holiday

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talking to my niece

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my niece Marie

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had was reading this book and

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She has a tendency to have some anxiety

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okay, and

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And I can see this happening because it is a litany of all these things that can go wrong.

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Sure

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Yeah to give your brain reassurance and of course, but she's reading it and it's just like one thing after another

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Anxiety's freaking and finally, I don't know if it was a doctor or a friend was like you need to stop reading the book

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Right because here read this dog book

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You're gonna be fine, but no it I can see how it would because it is like it's amazing how many different possible complications

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It but it really is but it is it is a great book as absolutely a must-read I

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Couldn't write.

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This is a five rattle five five plus rattles But yeah, literally 22 22 thousand five-star reviews.

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Would you say the minute you find out you're pregnant?

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That should be the first book Yes, the minute you find yeah, and and and they have there are a bunch of others In this vein the one that Kelly is reading right now is what to expect in your first year with your baby Gotcha, so that'll that'll be one of the next one, but no absolutely great book if you're anxious Skim right look at the stuff that that you take your time through it.

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Yeah, but to another book in between But it is absolutely, you know, I have tons of tons of pages that are dog-eared now to go back to yeah You know kind of look at again.

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It's nice what you said you can go to a certain page or chapter Other it's literally month it'll talk about the whole month and Then kind of we go right to that and you can go there and see that's what's happening It talks about what you can expect at the doctor everything.

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It is just every conceivable thing that can happen during a pregnancy It's there.

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Obviously, it's doing some good because it's been around forever, right?

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Oh, that's how I mean.

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Yeah, how many different?

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Yeah, so no, that's cool.

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That's cool So go out there and get your book what to expect when expect what to expect when you were expecting By Heidi Murkoff again, it's on Amazon.

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It was on sale this week for like 10 bucks five stars 29,000 reviews so that is a could not could not recommend more five rattles five rattles plus You got it got a read out good.

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So that is book report and we are going to move on now to What just happened what the hell happened So this week again this part of the pregnancy Not a not a lot of you know, crazy stuff, right?

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But the the baby is much much more active.

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Okay a lot more movement.

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I felt lots of little kicks and shrugs and things nice the one that I thought was interesting was When Kelly described that during mass, okay that she felt kind of a stretch like a Like I hate I need more room Like that.

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I think she's starting to understand what the movements are Happening on a much more regular basis like she starts getting active around the time that Kelly it would be coming home Because she wants to come home.

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Sure.

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So so there's that stuff There was a little digestive distress brought on by Thanksgiving food But mostly it was my family being astonished as I am to witness Kelly Having an appetite Asking her would you like and her saying?

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Yes, would you like some?

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Yes, my brother was fascinated by it He's like, this is this is great.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, it's cuz it's like all of a sudden she became it Oh You're like the rest of us now.

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Oh my god, you love food like I don't care about food Oh, that's great.

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So that that was kind of neat the thing that happened Which made me do some research that we'll talk about more.

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Okay is While we were away and this could I think you could attribute this just to me being around my sibling my siblings my relationship with my siblings is more One on one with each of them, okay, because they grew up together, right?

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I I didn't right so I have I think I have a relationship with each of them and then they have their Relationship with each other.

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Gotcha but it feels kind of like that to me and So when we're all together It's it's interesting because the dynamic kind of changes sure and every everybody, you know everybody has their their different kind of perspectives on They communicate with you in a way to communicate with me and all that stuff.

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So it's it's kind of interesting but

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So this could have been just me being used to that

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but

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We went out we went out my brother's in a suburb of of Nashville

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so we kind of went around and to see the town where he is a cute little town and we park and

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We're walking up and down kind of Main Street we get back and wrote we go in the last shop

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we go to like a t-shirt shop and

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I want to buy there are these things.

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I don't know if you've ever had Google clusters Remind me what they are a Google cluster.

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It's Google stands for grand old Opry GOO.

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Okay, it's a candy It's like a it's they make them They're like caramel and peanuts and chocolate covered and then they make a peanut butter Google cluster Which is my favorite I've had that's my favorite candy and my literally Kelly gets a box of them for me Are they like this around?

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I absolutely know what they're fantastic.

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Love them.

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Well, we go in the t-shirt shop.

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There's Google clusters I'm gonna buy one.

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So I look for my credit card I've had an American Express card that's been like my they put on there like member since I've had I carry that I've carried that card since 2006.

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Oh, so I've carried now It's a new card, but I've had that card that I've used 18 years for 18 years.

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I've never lost a card cards gone Really lost my and I'm like wow This is I have never lost a credit card like I've never lost a wallet, right?

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I've never like, okay Okay strange, but I'm like, you know, so we're walking back toward the car to get on my little American Express app Freeze the car ask for a new one by the time we get back to the car Not worried.

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I checked the charges there weren't any weird My must have left it at like someplace when we were coming when we were flying fine.

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So Then we get to the car.

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I Lost the keys.

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I've lost the keys to the rental car and Kelly's like, what are you talking about?

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I'm like, I'm looking I'm like, I don't have the key.

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Oh my god What is and I'm like, what is happening and I I checked the car.

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It's unlocked.

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I left the keys of A rental car in the rental car Wow So I'm like what is happening that this and and I think it was my sister Lucille said you have dad brain And you know, so there's there is this thing that happens with mothers, but apparently it also happens with us, too so I

1
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Did a little research.

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So this is cool.

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This is fascinating.

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Okay, so I'm gonna read a little bit of that So father's experience brain changes after becoming parents, which is sometimes referred to as dad brain So the first thing is there as actually brain volume Reduction so your brain shrinks.

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I had no idea that this was true.

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But that's what this says.

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Okay Fathers experience a reduction in brain volume similar to what happens in mothers when they become pregnant This reduction is thought to be a streamlining process.

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Okay, that helps the brain process information More efficiently a shrinking brain doesn't sound like good news to me.

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Yeah, it sounds like less things are gonna but they say, okay There is also brain remodeling.

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Oh, I need that the brain undergoes remodeling including a shrinking of the visual network And a growth of the default mode network, which is responsible for empathy Really become less visually focused.

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So I guess maybe if you have an ugly kid, you'll still care about them This yeah, so Apparently you become more empathetic.

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Of course then

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There are more also hormonal changes

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I don't like this father's experience a drop in testosterone didn't know that Wow the male sex hormone hormone then

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Increased engagement is another thing that happens fathers who experience a greater

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reduction in brain volume

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Tend to be more motivated and engaged in parenting

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they also

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Tend to feel more bonded with their babies before birth and I have to admit I'm feeling that way

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I feel like there's a whole damn podcast

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I'm feeling yeah, so feeling a bonded before they spend more time with their babies as primary caregivers

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marking and they experience less parenting stress and the mother well or

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Dads who don't have have the greater reduction in brain male that don't know all those things sound good now brain volume

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Decrease doesn't sound good.

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No, but all the things that it leads to more bonding more time as a primary caregiver Experiencing less parental stress all sound like good things.

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That's a great then the very next thing that they say is in

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Mental health and sleep quality fathers fathers who experience a greater reduction in brain volume also tend to report more depression

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anxiety

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general psychological distress and worse sleep

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well, I can

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Deny all those I sleep

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That's crazy, so all these good things happening with a guy and but then you're depressed and you get sleep

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And yeah, so my question is what's it have to do with your keys?

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It doesn't say anything about This I think Yeah, that's it and that's the minute you find out I'll have to do more research clearly, but yeah It's like the minute you find out your your wife's saying it's happening before birth.

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So it's like you just know Like yep So now I can understand with a with with the mother I could understand more because there's all the hormonal changes Oh, yeah, and then physical demands and all those things are more tired But you have for that.

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It's like it just seemed like wow, huh dad brain I always thought you know, they would people would joke around about how once some once a guy becomes a father they They kind of purposely become stupid.

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So no one will ask him to do anything.

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It's like screw up your first maybe it's not Brain it dad brain.

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They're infected Your testosterone goes lower just by finding out you're having a child.

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Yeah Your brain is doing I don't know.

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It's it's Crazy, I I don't know how that could happen.

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Well, that's because you have dead brain.

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You can't figure it out.

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That's true But the empathy part of dead brain you can feel that right?

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I mean, that's the empathy thing.

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That makes sense I mean there's there's got to be Evolutionary things at work that you gotta Want to protect them and care for your little thing.

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That's otherwise a psycho Otherwise you're just going to jail.

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Yeah But I don't know.

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It's it's an interesting idea.

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So it's a new idea for a t-shirt.

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Yeah, it's not me It's my dad brain It's dad brain.

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It's my dad brain.

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Well, that's that's interesting So when people say not you man, you got it easy.

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No, our brains are shrinking.

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That's that's our brains are shrinking I know the main the only thing I know for sure about this everything we've just talked about is There are going to be multiple.

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I was wrong No, you're out of your mind episode 9 is gonna have like we were all wrong in the whole Kelly's gonna be like why didn't you talk to me before you did the this is none of this is right That's what makes it fun.

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We just throw out things Yeah, and it might be true or not and we have more For the next I hope that this is like my my approach to parenting I hope is a lot more deliberate and well thought out than my podcast.

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Hey, listen, at least we're kind of looking up things Yeah, you know At least I'm doing a Google search Believing whatever the AI tells me we're gonna be fine Everything everything's gonna blame everything on dad brain.

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That should be the name of the podcast That could be it could be it.

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So there is one thing that we have not talked about up till now that I think is Gonna be critical.

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It came up a little bit while I was with my family Because I have shared this with them and I don't know if I've ever shared this with you.

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Maybe but You guys have gotten to know me over the course of now several episodes a little bit those of you who are strangers Most of you know me.

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I tend to be generally, I think I'm not like usually afraid of stuff bothered by things.

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I'm not I'm usually like whatever like I've had lots of Things where I've been injured or hurt or you seem like a guy's like deal with it.

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It's not yeah I've had like I've had different things happen and had medical professionals say wow You have a high tolerance for pain like that like there's a spike through your head.

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You can't feel it.

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Like are you sure?

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You know, I'm not like, you know made of you're not saw not made of stone, but I'm not a softie.

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Yeah now So but when it comes to children and and pregnancy and childbirth Changes the first thing that comes to mind when every when whenever this has come up for me and the idea of being a dad and Particularly being there at the moment when the child is being born.

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Okay In high school, did you when you went to school?

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Did they play you the childbirth video?

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Yes in high school It's good.

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A lot of so what my friend fainted in front of me, really?

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Tell me about that because that might make me feel better What I can remember I mean obviously this is going back 40 years or whatever it is I remember the day that we were all in there and today class.

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We're gonna watch the video of birth.

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Yeah, and Obviously were what 14 years old 50.

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I don't know what grade we're in or age We're all like, you know Making jokes of it until the video starts and everybody just shut up because it was watching a horror movie It was like what is going on?

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And they showed everything if you remember the crown everything.

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Yes And at that moment, I was like even even my as I keep going.

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We're not supposed to see this right now We are this is too much doing this.

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This is too much from us and my friend I won't say his name, but we'll call him Ron.

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Okay, that actually is his name.

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He fainted He he blamed it on because he didn't have breakfast that morning But we all know there was a human coming out of another human So it was a very It stuck with me.

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Yeah, and I was lucky enough to see it happen for real, right?

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And it's it's that much more So that was my yes, I'm sorry if I'm not helping that was my experience so Interestingly enough Ron and I are of the same cloth.

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Okay, so I Don't know so for me it was that movie I Didn't think I'd never been bothered by any of that stuff.

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I don't think at this point in my life I had recognized that there was any issue there.

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So they're playing the video and Thank goodness for my own sake They it was a movie.

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So they turned the lights off in the room.

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Absolutely, and I didn't even know what was happening I had no idea This is the one time in my life Before then or since then I have ever fainted and I just said, oh I feel funny And I won't it.

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Nobody I did I ron'd

92
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And I did not no one noticed or well, they did they didn't bother me right and I woke up and it was over

93
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But as soon as it started to get I think probably at the point where there was crowning

94
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Gone and I was like, huh

95
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So now and and now as an older person is going through life talking about that sure

96
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I've I've thought about and I am like that when you talk about things like that.

97
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Mm-hmm.

98
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I Get weak knee.

99
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I think it's bad.

100
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So I have said jokingly in the past in Talking with Kelly and with my family members like I want to be the 50s dad I want to be in the waiting room with the cigars right and I Want nothing to do with that happening?

101
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I don't want to see it and so now So now my is so one of the things my sister Lucille when we were together for that I was like we need to work on him like to try like we've got like trying to like talk me through and make me feel better about Which is so now I'm in this I've been this weird place of I For anything that I am anything that I should that should be required of me.

102
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I want to do I'm gonna give you advice I'm gonna fix it for you.

103
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Okay, I'm here.

104
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Thank goodness.

105
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I'm so glad.

106
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Okay need to be in the room Yeah, I got a bonding moment.

107
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Yeah with your child the minute you see him.

108
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Yep This is what I'm gonna tell you to do, okay Okay, let the doctors and the nurses do their thing.

109
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Yeah, you look at your wife's eyes You just stare at her face.

110
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Do not worry about down south, right?

111
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Don't have to be there You don't have to you don't need to worry about that Let the professionals do that because if you're staring at her and talking her through it, you know everything down there You're not even gonna see it.

112
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You're not gonna worry about it You're gonna look at your wife and you're gonna make sure she's happy and the minute the baby comes out They're gonna take care of it.

113
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Anyways, right and now this is what I'm gonna ask And I probably know the answer ready, okay, they're gonna ask you to cut a cord.

114
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Yeah, I I Said no, that's your job You can I'm fine with not cutting that I can bond.

115
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Yeah, right I don't need that's like I cut it.

116
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So it's not bad.

117
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If you say I'm good with that Now have we talked about this is a whole other thing which I thought might be an angle to avoid this, okay But the there is a thing it's like it's fetal stem cells That you can collect blood from the from the umbilical cord, yes, and then they Because the the stem cells that are in that blood because they're from the baby can do anything, right?

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And then you have to pay lots of money and they save that right save that and then it can be used for the baby Or maybe for like so when I heard this initially my first thought was Who knows this could keep me alive forever.

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Let's do it Secondly, I thought hey, that means they're gonna have to be careful.

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Like I don't want to screw it up Give me a pruning shears and tell me to do that.

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So I thought whatever it costs, let's do that Yeah, and then it seems like so Kelly is not of the mind that we should bother with that With the yeah, that's up.

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It's it's very the storage is fairly expensive.

123
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Yeah, like several thousand dollars trying to get out of it Just say I'm not cutting it, right?

124
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They'll ask you you want to call you say no So now back to your advice I can picture that okay.

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I want to be there with her Yeah, you're gonna I want to know is there so know what my what I imagine would be the ideal situation Would be like a drive-thru window So there's a wall And her business is sticking through so I can't even see that.

126
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Is there a curtain?

127
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I don't think there's a wall Donation to the hospital wherever your head goes is the wall But if you guys if you don't want to look at it, you just don't go down there.

128
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Okay.

129
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Well, that's what I write I'll be okay with that.

130
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Yeah, and yeah, and I will have absolutely no problem with the no Yeah, you you go ahead and do the cut the doctors and nurse they will take care of all that stuff Okay.

131
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Now if you want to be Involved they're not gonna say nothing.

132
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Yeah, but if you want to stay up top and talk to her hold her hand, you know You're not gonna see a thing Okay in the minute and even even before that you can say to the doctor Hey, I'm not I'm not gonna clip it you guys to do that.

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I'm good.

134
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I'll stay up here So is that what you did mostly you just stayed focused on her?

135
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Well I I didn't faint in school.

136
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You were brave.

137
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I was I Involved I would imagine that they invite you to be involved They're like, dude, would you like to say I was I was I was Working the legs.

138
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My mother was on the other side.

139
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So you were right there.

140
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I was there.

141
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I saw I saw for you Yeah, I saw everything.

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Can you does this seem incongruent with what you know of me?

143
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No It doesn't seem I know that you this is surprising me.

144
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Oh, that's what I mean That's the hard part is like I know I'm gonna be like this person doesn't know what they're doing just step aside I think you're thinking of what happened to you already and you think I fainted and I can't be any better But I also know it's like there was one of those things.

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This is another thing Remember when they first had on cable when they had the channel that had surgeries.

146
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Yes.

147
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Yes Oh, I literally would go in and program that Channel out.

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So when I was changing channels, I didn't I didn't stumble across These foot surgery.

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I keep looking at Kelly's eyes Just don't even don't even introduce yourself to the doctors pretend you're not even in the room That's it no, just I think you'll be fine Yeah, is there something?

150
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Okay.

151
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I know whatever that I do.

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I know whatever it is I will be required like whatever is gonna be required of me.

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I'm going to do it But they're not gonna stop you right right if you're I might have I might try to have a preemptive conversation You know, no, like I don't need any invitations you I remember the part that I remember is now my mother she was obviously 23 years younger than she is now, right and I remember one of the episodes I don't know if it was last one or episode six.

154
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We were talking about Natalia was three weeks early.

155
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Remember that?

156
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Yes, so we weren't ready for the day

157
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So my mother mom was there my mom was there but my mother-in-law wasn't that day we weren't expecting so my mother

158
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Got involved right and she was watching down there as well

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Yeah, so and my mother always, you know has health issues, but not major

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But just you know, and I remember when the baby came and and she didn't even see her own children get born

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This is the first time she's seen this happen, right?

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Think about that.

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Yeah She had us in the 60s in Italy and then my other brother Mike it was still 1975 right she didn't she couldn't see what was happening.

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She never watched the movie in school, right?

165
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So the first time she saw a baby getting born was her was her grandson and she Almost faint she was fainting.

166
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Well, and I and I said I remember I said I looked up I said, hey everybody Yeah, let's take care of her.

167
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She has a heart problem It's not worried, but yeah, she's gonna she's gonna be a next problem Oh, yeah, keep an eye on her.

168
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So if you know you kind of that person, you know I wouldn't chance it right because then they'd have to take care of you and you might follow your head Then they got other issues.

169
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So no, that's true.

170
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So now I think the way I'm going to approach.

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Uh-huh.

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Sadly is I'm going to The any time in the past when I've had to face some kind of sure fear or something I'm concerned about or worried or anxious about my usually what I it's just Exposure right like just do it run.

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So I'm thinking I'm going to just find Videos like that, which I'm sure I can and go in the home theater and watch it Well, it's better than running into the labor to labor rooms and just check it out other people have a baby So you mind do you mind I need to do some research just want to see this if I puke Yeah, don't mind me.

174
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It's not pretty.

175
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I mean we should all faint the one obviously a Comic that I think we both love Sebastian Maniscalco does a whole bit about his wife's the first time Yeah, his first child being born and it's everything that I fear, right?

176
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But it's hilarious at the same time but not seeing that will not lessen or yeah You know be better than for your parenting.

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It doesn't matter It just like I say keep your eyes up to Kelly keep talking to her.

178
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Yeah, she's gonna yell at you Yeah, she's gonna say shut up.

179
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She's gonna go.

180
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Why are you looking at me so much, right?

181
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but I think But I think It's gonna come back to bite you if you are the 1950 dad having cigars in the waiting room No, that'll come.

182
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I don't want I don't want to miss that was a joke.

183
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I don't want Yeah, I really don't as much as I would like to do that.

184
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I don't want to do that I want to be there for for Kelly, but it is it is So I think we're gonna have to start with I imagine did you do childbirth classes?

185
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Yes.

186
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Did they show a video during that?

187
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I don't remember this horrible thing to To Nikki or Nathalie in school.

188
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Did they have to watch a childbirth video?

189
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You know what?

190
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I know they went through the day of the birds and the bees kind of thing I know they have that stuff.

191
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Is that when they showed it to us?

192
00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:06,510
That was more in high school, right?

193
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The health class.

194
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:12,390
I don't think I don't think like I don't remember of any of the birds and the bee stuff It was just hey check this out.

195
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Now what I remember the birds and the bees Talking like six-year-olds was more like a like middle school like yes, and then the high school was health class was the video.

196
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Yes This is either a 10th or 11th grade Yeah, absolutely when we saw when we saw if they did do it They keep they didn't say that they came home and they didn't say Look at their mother totally different.

197
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That's it.

198
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Well, that's your homework So if and for us for listeners and viewers if you have any stories where you fainted Or any of that stuff, I would love to hear them But yeah, I think I'm gonna just I'm gonna find some videos and I'm gonna watch them yeah, oh, maybe I'll wear a helmet in case I About those days I found something.

199
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Oh That now I know you have now Technology is huge right now, right?

200
00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:05,930
I mean you can look at the baby.

201
00:21:05,970 --> 00:21:09,490
You can talk to them babies talking back to you I mean, it's all different.

202
00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:26,450
So this my wife was going through Trina was going through some stuff She found this old school our first child now Hopefully I can I'll take a picture of it you can put on the yeah Old school, that's Natalie.

203
00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:33,090
Oh Now I know your picture now wouldn't they give do they still Do they give you that or the Polaroid?

204
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No, it's like a no.

205
00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:38,490
Well in the beginning It was the getting like a string of these.

206
00:21:38,610 --> 00:21:47,590
Okay, and then it was right to the phone Okay, because we never have that honestly, yeah So I'll take a picture of that and we'll I'm right now.

207
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I will scan it and put it up for you.

208
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Absolutely That's awesome.

209
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Yeah, so that's 23 years old Wow, and that's now if you look at this and I I was I Remember telling Trina this I'll give you back to you and you look at it.

210
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Okay.

211
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Yeah from the moment I saw that picture.

212
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I looked at I said, that's a boy.

213
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I It could be a girl it could be a boy but for some reason when I the minute I saw that child I said, that's a boy.

214
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I think that's good.

215
00:22:20,030 --> 00:22:36,850
That's that the shit the profile looks kind of like a football So there could be that could be it but but it's funny you were right I was right So when you looked at your first picture of your beautiful daughter, did you think did you have any feel like I that's a girl?

216
00:22:36,850 --> 00:22:45,510
Well, that's a boy like I did the first time there was a good profile picture like profile like this Absolutely looked like a girl.

217
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Okay.

218
00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:46,970
Yeah, so I'm not crazy.

219
00:22:47,190 --> 00:22:48,210
Yeah, I saw that.

220
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That's what I felt.

221
00:22:49,090 --> 00:22:52,570
Yeah, and I was right So but let us know if you did the same thing.

222
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Yeah, I just because I remember Trina going.

223
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Are you crazy?

224
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I can't tell if that's a boy or a girl.

225
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I'm like, I'm telling you that's I look at that face I just see a little boy.

226
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That's awesome.

227
00:23:02,790 --> 00:23:07,990
So I Want to bring that in yeah, she was going through this stuff like oh my god, this is for the pocket.

228
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That's perfect So very nice.

229
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Very cool.

230
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Yeah.

231
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Awesome.

232
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So anyway, so we're gonna I'm sure we're gonna talk more about my my exposure therapy to Watch videos.

233
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I'm gonna start.

234
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I'm just gonna pull the band-aid off and start watching videos and It is a strange thing to show young people.

235
00:23:27,390 --> 00:23:32,810
I mean if you're talking about yeah kind of stuff I mean if you're talking about yeah, what's it?

236
00:23:33,010 --> 00:23:33,330
What's the word?

237
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I'm looking for resistance from sex that video Yeah, we'll do it when you're in 10th grade It's very like my Back, this is before the internet for any of that stuff Kids now we're exposed to so much.

238
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You're crazy stuff on That's like whatever.

239
00:23:52,850 --> 00:23:53,210
You're right.

240
00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:56,470
Yeah, but for us Find it.

241
00:23:56,470 --> 00:24:01,850
Yeah, I mean, yeah, we have to go into a woods where somebody left magazines in a six-pack.

242
00:24:02,010 --> 00:24:17,130
Oh my god Yeah, I mean it was a different very different world you're right cuz right now everything's on everything's on their phone Yeah, if they want to see what I'm the ugliest to the cutest thing and everything in between right there on their phone They can find it.

243
00:24:17,190 --> 00:24:27,870
I remember It was like the video was like done in the 70s You could tell that that video that was shown to us at high school It was all 70s and I was just so confused.

244
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Like I remember going I shouldn't be seeing this Yeah, I felt like it was like this is yeah, this is not for my eyes It's like the one they would show you it for driver's ed.

245
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Remember that what the video was that was scary Horrible, but again, I bet kids now like they play video games where people express.

246
00:24:44,890 --> 00:24:55,090
Yeah, it's very different They're kind of desensitized to get through this Always remember if the videos Do not help you look at her face.

247
00:24:55,130 --> 00:24:59,410
That's a tell the doctor before don't ask you to do anything, right?

248
00:24:59,470 --> 00:25:01,410
You do the cutting you do the labor.

249
00:25:01,610 --> 00:25:02,450
There's no D.

250
00:25:02,550 --> 00:25:22,010
I'd the only DIY I do involves DeWalt tools exactly And I'll just look right at Kelly and say hurry The crazy the crazy thing is I remember my second for Nicholas it was pretty quick Not like Natalia Natalia was like we could have had in the parking lot if we didn't hurry.

251
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Okay.

252
00:25:22,430 --> 00:25:22,690
Oh, yeah.

253
00:25:22,850 --> 00:25:25,670
Absolutely, but Nick was a little bit longer.

254
00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:33,190
Yeah, but I remember after and I was Sitting by myself again in a different room just kind of relaxing going.

255
00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:33,810
Oh my god.

256
00:25:33,830 --> 00:25:41,930
That was that was crazy They took the baby already and all that good stuff and I was watching this poor lady being walked Trying to get it stand.

257
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I want to say she was past 24 hours Into her 48-hour labor just and I'm like so that could that could also be in a Situation that could well, I mean typically it sounds like Because of Kelly's age in week 39.

258
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They're going to induce her.

259
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Okay, so well There's the predictability of that initially, it sounded like Kelly seemed to think that they were gonna just want her to do a Cesarean Okay, and it what's interesting is I can't even I heard that and I was like, oh Then you just then come in Tuesday.

260
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Yeah, you're gonna be I'm not there for that I didn't think like with a surgery surgery, right?

261
00:26:28,490 --> 00:26:43,750
So I thought hey, maybe I Skate by that way, then I realize then I I am reading these other things And then I realized that one of the things one of the reasons why cesareans cesareans are done way too much now They're most of the time they are unnecessary.

262
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They prefer Natural birth birth and one of the reasons is that the baby is in a sterile environment so when you When when you have a natural birth The vaginal birth the bacteria that are there That is the first exposure to bacteria and and is the beginning of the baby's immune system And it's meant to be that way, right?

263
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Surgically removed right when they're when you do a cesarean.

264
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It's sterile environment to sterile environment So the first bacteria is whatever lives in the hospital, which is not not as good So then I guess I'm like I can't even hope for that because I don't want that for the baby, right?

265
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So We'll see.

266
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I'm sure I'm sure I'm gonna be okay, and there will be more.

267
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I don't know what episode we'll call that, right?

268
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Are you sure you're not in the room?

269
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I don't I don't think so.

270
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They might clean you up and get you in there.

271
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Maybe I hope not Either way, hopefully that's not gonna go That'll be another homework of mine because I know somebody yeah who they're that's how they try that out So so that pretty much covers what just happened and our new segment called frank faints Uh Movie time so but the last that's right movie time movie time with frank Oh goodness.

272
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So the the last thing so we Last episode had our very first lullaby.

273
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Yes.

274
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Lullaby land is now a thing.

275
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So we're gonna go to lullaby land and this week The the song is there was some interesting trivia around this song Okay, so the song that I did which I haven't recorded yet But by the time you see this it will be recorded and you'll be able to hear it next Is good morning so good morning written by Ignacio brown.

276
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I don't know who that is lyrics by arthur freed ignacio.

277
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He had to be italian and not the last name brown I don't know.

278
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So ignacio brown lyrics by arthur freed It was it's associated with I always thought this was singing in the rain That's where it famously was but it was originally written for the 1939 film babes in arms Oh, and it was performed by the stars of that film judy garland and mickey rooney Really?

279
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I love mickey rooney a huge biggest star.

280
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He's a big star so but it was more famously performed in the 1952 film singing in the rain by gene kelly, of course donald o'connor and Debbie reynolds, but not this was another interesting trivia thing.

281
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That was not debbie reynolds voice Wait a minute princess leah's mother So princess leah's mother was lip-syncing For some reason she was millie vanillian.

282
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Yeah, she was it was actually dubbed so The voice that you hear in that movie is a woman named betty noyes.

283
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I don't know.

284
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Yes, so it was not It was not debbie reynolds singing it was gene kelly donald o'connor and the voice of betty noyes but also That recording is listed as number 72 in the american film institute's 100 years 100 songs so very popular very popular.

285
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So i've i've turned it around a little bit and turned good morning The upbeat dance number into I think a cute little lullaby.

286
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I cannot wait to hear this I think you like I know the song.

287
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:24,420
Yep So it means when you hear a song that you know, yeah turn into this It's it's it's interesting to hear what you do with it.

288
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It lends itself very well Yeah, I think but that'll be coming up right after this.

289
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So We hope you enjoy Good morning And also again give us any suggestions if you have other ideas, I keep coming across different Possibilities for this but I so I think we're going to be good for a long time But give us your suggestions for lullabies to do as well but other than that We have made it to the end of yet another Episode of the gray hair day great episode.

290
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I hope you guys learned a lot.

291
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We did I learned that you fainted.

292
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Yes Like you bond it.

293
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I did.

294
00:31:00,940 --> 00:31:02,280
Um, so this is interesting.

295
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I love doing this I really I I talk to my wife all the time and tell her how exciting it is and she's following we want to thank everybody that's following our Our podcast and also following on youtube.

296
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Yeah.

297
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Yeah.

298
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Yeah Having people just seeing seeing things and not immediately turning us off right is nice Uh, yeah, it really has been i've i've talked to a lot of you know, friends and family who are interested and then there's people like my brother who Just can't make the time I guess Can't break away from you know, he's very busy traveling very busy retired person.

299
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Yeah in nashville With we're calling you out my wife isn't even in the country.

300
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She's in london He's there all by himself him and his dog.

301
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You can just turn it on and just keep it playing in the background Learn a little bit more about your brother.

302
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:56,960
You'd be a little interested a little bit It's okay.

303
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We'll have a segment.

304
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This is for mike And we'll just talk about tires or something.

305
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Maybe if I mention him.

306
00:32:02,420 --> 00:32:06,420
Yeah, if I mention him enough, maybe He'll get to him.

307
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Yeah Oh, that's funny anyway For those of you unlike my brother who have stayed with us and are watching Uh, thank you very much It is it is it's great to hear from you guys and to see the interest and and and hear the stories It's been a lot of fun So thank you again for sticking with us and enjoy good morning, and we will see you next time.

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Bye Bye