Gramnesia, Shaved Beards & Back Pain! Older Dads on Gen X Dad Life & Parenting Comedy: S02E03 Part 1

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I do think it is this is one of the first time where my age as a dad clearly

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is showing I'm I could feel it but I mean you got it's coming around when a

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machine was doing all the heavy lifting literally I was when I should have had

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children I would have been dragging my shoulder you got hurt driving a machine

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that does all the work yes that's how old we got yeah that's it

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see the videos of these guys like it'll be like on a farm and a guy will jump

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out of the cab of a big tractor and the caption I'll be like we all compare

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doing this at 50 compared to when I was 30 and the guy jumps out and he thinks

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he walks away and then he gets confused he turns around and looks and his body

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is dead his body is like crumpled up on the ground this is the gray hair and

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daycare podcast with a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ right in

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that same range your hosts Frank Syrio and Carlo Russo

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welcome back here we are in season 2 episode 3 it was only I'm very proud to

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say it was only three weeks in between recording so we're much more up-to-date

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I didn't have to look at my calendar to figure out what happened this is nice I

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could remember most of it yeah that far back yeah I wasn't going that far back I

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have to say you look like a new man yeah I love it

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this is very different yeah it does it's nice I mean in the summer a beard

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is not fun in the summer and I let it get like big and bushy in the in the

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wintertime because it's nice with the wind it keeps you warm but in the summer

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so I've been going shorter and shorter and shorter and also I've been thinking

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about with the baby I keep seeing these videos online I don't know where the

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like the father walking and the little the girls like seven years old and they

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have a like a seizure and they run away because they've never seen their father

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so I'm like I don't want that to happen so but this but even with this she's

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young but how was it what I did was I had Kelly come with her and we shaved

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while you're doing little by little and I took like I did a little bit she saw

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transition and by the end she was like yep that's now for the next day she was

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every once in a while she'd give me she's completely I enjoyed but no she

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yeah she's completely like it's gone now and doesn't care I've been watching

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those videos it's funny that you say that and about the the men that have

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beards and they got into relationships with the beards oh yeah or they've been

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you know 20 years married and they shave it and the wife is like oh no so if you

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go why oh yeah another people oh my god you look so young but it's so funny how

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how real that is because you haven't seen somebody's face well I will say

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very honestly with Kelly there's a little bit of that because she met me I

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had a full I've had a full beard for the better part of 12 years and we met

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right after like I I did a no shave November and then I think I met her the

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following February so I've had a full beard like I like you guys have always

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seen me the whole time she's known me she's very supportive of what I don't

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know if you want to go ahead but I can also tell my she preferred she would

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prefer she prefers me with the beard I think she's used to me with the beard

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and that's where I mean but it's not like I'm gonna be you look younger it's

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funny because it brought me right back to those early days telling father site

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that I was pregnant and every time I'm saying your first your first like I've

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like for the first four times yeah and and we were leaving mass last Sunday

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and he's like you look you look 20 years now you look like a man who I walked I

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love I'm like that's all he's saying it was you really looked old and now you

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next next episode he'll have black hair that's it I used to hang out with we

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both know the person and he was he was older than us but not that old we were

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in our 20s he was in his early 30s but he had gray hair yeah and he kept on

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hanging out with us and he goes I gotta do something everybody thinks I'm like

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your your father or something so we made this man we got made him we suggested

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your hair and for many years you know I'm talking about for many years he had

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black jet black hair oh yeah that's right okay I wasn't making the connection

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for a day that happened so when I was first starting to go gray my sister

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Paula who we have talked about ran a number of salons she ran hair salon yeah

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and I would go to one of them to get my hair cut all the time one time I think

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they were having a short month and she's like you know what you could do a

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temporary color like basically like to kind of goose their revenue she got me

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to do that and immediately after I ended up meeting someone who ended up being

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right and then got serious with this person and I told them no and then I

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told when I told them that I had done that and I wasn't going to continue right

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they were like oh no no you have to keep oh you're keeping so then for the

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seven or so years we were together I continued so I and I wanted to stop but

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she did not want me to stop cuz you were young I was you know in my I was in my

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30s yeah that's young to be great it was just get a little girl but it was just

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it was like a tiny bit a tiny bit and we started but then I couldn't so then over

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that whole time I got more and more gray and had no idea how great so when you

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want yeah so then when we split up I transitioned back to quite not as gray

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as I am now but to quite gray so I was trapped into that for years years of

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dying my hair I am I am a lifetime coloring my hair I remember by blinds

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and I mean I didn't I don't give a shit about coloring hair I don't care you

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know luckily I my side my sideburns go white my beards probably white over some

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reason my hair does not go as white as everything else yeah so I look foolish I

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look like I have white sideburns yeah and then black like my father my father

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is now 88 years old I think the last maybe 15 years he's I've seen gray hair

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my brother Mike you know Mike is 52 yeah jet black hair and Pete it is early 60s

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is now getting gray hair so we've been lucky yeah but I do color my side I just

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don't like how it looks yeah I don't like it yeah no I think you go I go back

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and forth honestly what I just didn't like because once you start doing it and

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you're doing the whole thing no yeah then it's you get regrowth and then it

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doesn't like you then you can see it right and it's just a giant I don't I

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don't mind the what I'm more worried about is that I'm losing here yes I am I

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have noticed in the last year it's not like it was not your it's not like it

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was on top anymore which is okay that's all right we're in our we're in our late

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50s I'd like I said I always use my brother as a barometer because he's 19

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years older and he's still got a little bit up there he's doing okay I haven't

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gotten the year yet where I've gotten I'll have I'll be sad the first year

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that I get the sunburn on the top of the head then you know things are happening

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but I'm still I'm hanging in there but the thing that we can say is the years

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where hair was important we had it 20s 30s for you right right yeah there's

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people like my brother-in-law he went bald in his 20s our good friend Lou and

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you know start losing it in his late 20s early 20s so we had we had a perfect if

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we're gonna bald at 60 we're good that's okay we're good I'll live with that

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I've never done the the shaved head so eventually my back is flat and I can't

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do it I'm one of those guys if I ever have to shave it you look like an eraser

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yeah I'm gonna have it what one of my good friends in high school I never knew

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this at the time one day I show up to the bus stop was it to go to high school it

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was not it was my friend Steve Steve shows up to the bus stop with purple hair

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and I'm like what are you I just decided I was gonna do that no no no decades

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later I see him and he is white before so maybe you know maybe now early 30s I

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run it I ran to him at the airport white Steve Martin and I'm like wow like it

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look good he had a beautiful head because his father when we were kids

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beautiful head full head of white okay and I was like wow you know your hair's

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just like your dad he's like my he's like I went gray at 18 and I'm like so he

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was 17 I'm like what really he's like yeah remember the time I had purple hair

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I'm like yes I screwed up he made a mistake and ended up purple but he was

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dying his he was dying his hair in high school because he was going gray in high

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school yeah that's crazy yeah I remember we'll get back to the we're really gonna

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confuse people because the name of the podcast we could people could be

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watching this for the first time thinking it's all about hair care it's

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not about a child what are you talking about but I do remember in my in my 20s

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and in my teens to always a bleaching my hair but at one time at one time they

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used to have and they still do they used to have like purple and violet yeah and

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I would put it with my black hair it inside it looks normal but you go

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outside with the Sun and people like do you have purple hair yep now there's the

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now it's the purple shampoo do you ever seen that there's the shampoo for people

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with gray hair to make the gray pop make it white what it's purple and it helps

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make it brighter it brightens the gray well ladies and gentlemen if you needed

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some hair information you can't hear it is you know the switch because how old

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are you now I am 56 years old and my daughter is almost 16 months old don't

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miss any of the fun make sure you subscribe to this podcast and give us a

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five-star review wherever you listen it has been lots of fun progress lately

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lots of more questioning of okay well her her not hurt her question about us

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questioning who she looks like oh really yeah I'm starting to think I found a

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picture the other day and I was like wow is in the switcheroo it's a picture of

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my father holding me and I'm clearly I'm probably more like two two and a half

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full beard full beard right uh-huh in a cigar but he's holding me and I'm there

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and it really she really right now resembles like I'll show you the picture

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later like it's it's a Polaroid that my sister took they do change because yeah

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it goes back and forth Nicholas my youngest who looks exactly like me when

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we were when I was a child and when he was a child but now no everybody's like

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oh you look just like your mother so they do change yeah a lot so that could

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go back and forth a couple of times yeah well I'm sure but yeah so no but lots of

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lots of fun stuff and we've been enjoying the little tastes of summer

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that we've had but for now for right now we are going to dive into our book

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report so this book report is not a book it is not a book I read this term and I

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found this article okay the article is not from an outlet that I usually refer

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to it's from the Huffington Post for most folks okay but the name of the

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article is your parents may have a case of gramnesia your parents may have a

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case of gram here's what the viral term means so there apparently is a term

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called gramnesia okay bring it and what it talks about you have not heard this I

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would imagine no gramnesia refers to parents of people who now have children

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so grandparents having conversations with their children who are now parents oh

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and talking about their parenting in a way that is idealized it's it's basically

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when they ask them well you know they're basically asking their parents do you

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remember what like was I like this when I was little did I not sleep through the

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night and and the parents always like no you slept through the night from six

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weeks on you were perfect you never had tantrums like this we would never have

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let you and I think it's funny because from for I don't like on my side of the

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family I don't have to worry about that because my parents are gone right it is

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kind of an interesting thing and what they liken it to is all these young

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people who are having you know having kids now so in their latter 20s and

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early 30s typically see this as gaslighting they're like they're lying

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there's there's no way it could have been like that and and I think the

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writer rightfully so who it's kind of taken the tack that this is not them

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gaslighting them they really don't first of all they their memory might not be

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good right that they don't right they don't remember asking them is and 40

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years later and they're remembering all the good and none of the bad and and I

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do I thought it was in her but yeah gramnesia is a thing and I wonder I

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wonder how much of it is real where no parenting something was different then

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right and and kids kids I think there was a different set of standards and it

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was easier in many ways I think for a lot of parents but I think there is also

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that piece of that that these older folks that are remembering as they see

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their grandchildren and remembering their children are remembering an

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idealized version of what it was like yeah but you but we are doing we live

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this every week that we record on the podcast because you're remembering your

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kids right right at a time when you never know it might not be long and you're

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gonna have a little grandbaby right right and and you remember it I think

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fairly although you have occasionally get corrected by Trina I think now I

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don't know if my parents at 50 right or saying crazy stuff compare when they

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turned 75 yeah like you guys were the best part of what my mom used to do I

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think is it was kind of like a backhanded slap was it was a call back

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it's kind of like saying I did it so much better than how you're handling it

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my baby's never cried right baby's always a what is what are you so you

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experience this oh my god my mother used to say it all the time like yeah

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like and we were lucky and Trina might correct me on that we didn't have

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crying babies at night we right we didn't have all that it's kind of like a

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relationship when you talk about in the middle of the relationship you're like I

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am I got to get out of this relationship this is the worst thing for me then you

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break up you know you can remember is all the fun stuff you did with her or

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him you just remember all the good stuff like what I think that's what the

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grandparents did they forget all the bad stuff all the nightless I think I think

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that that's true like it's a fact that our brains are set up to to block out

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trauma right so when it's really hard we're our brains work to not remember

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we don't want to remember that but the other thing too is I said all the time

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you know when you remember stuff from long ago you don't you're not

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remembering the thing that happened you're remembering the last time you

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remembered it right that's how things get right that's why by the time my dad

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was like in his 80s he was remembering things that were actually in the

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godfather and not part of his life

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not you muscles yeah so no yeah so you're remembering you know so there

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and you don't remember the bad stuff but you recall you think about all the

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wonderful stuff think about it I when I think about my my growing up unless

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someone says do you have a moment that was scary you go yeah but when I think

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about grump it's always like we were outside we were playing my cousins were

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coming over we all ate it's always great things even though we had horrible

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moments probably had more of a horrible moments but I don't even remember that

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yeah because you think of what you think about the good stuff they talked

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about yeah they talked about the gramnesia now we don't get a lot of that

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from people yeah because there's not a lot although I guess we get a little bit

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of that from like my sit my one sister Lucille has two children so she's been a

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parent he's like she's been real transparent about how hard it was yeah

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yeah and I think you know rightfully so she's a grandmother now right yeah she

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has two grandchildren one that just graduated from like grad school and the

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other that is now just came in like third place and Nationals in volleyball

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does she talk about your mom giving her advice or not talking to that not really

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because my like my sister was was out of state when she had her when she had her

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kids she didn't have the that's one of the things I always say like she didn't

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have the supports that like we don't have a support system of lots of

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relatives around just because of geography and and and my age right but

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right she was in Texas nobody like so and it was it was her and she had to

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make her own support us find it her own she was and she was a single mom for a

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lot of it so it was like I said I don't know how she did we have every

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conceivable advantage and help and and and it's still hard so that's that's one

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thing I am glad that an advantage of having children not in a normal age that

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we did my parents were around hurt my wife's parents were around it's still

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around my older brother having him having kids I can ask questions yeah it

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was always there and I had a big network a robust huge and and I was you

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know younger and I was kind of you know I was scared you know for the first time

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so I'm glad I had that support of my mom I could call up and go can I come over

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I get the baby by myself today you know so it is tough but yeah it's funny that

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they have a name for that Grammysia that was it so I thought I thought that was

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interesting yeah and now we're gonna move right into what just happened

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part of the working out thing that I was talking about is shortly after we

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recorded last time okay so you know one of the things with with baby Josie is

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whenever I've got her and and we're doing stuff I have a tendency to hold her in

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my left hand yeah because I need the right hand to do other stuff right so I

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think that may have set me a little bit off balance with my back right all right

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just carrying her around a lot you used to it you're just you know you're doing

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stuff so I was on I was on my little tractor and trying to move a log now I'm

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not moving the tractor so I get under the log I try to pick it up and the

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tractor tilts so I have to lean quickly to not fall off of the tractor and I

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lean quickly and immediately it was like getting a telegraph your back just

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decided to betray you be prepared I could just felt it I'm like oh now I've

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had off and on since we were at Leachmere since we were in our 20s one

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time I was moving I think we were moving lawnmowers or something something and I

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tested the wrong way and I have screwed up my back now it doesn't bother me

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maybe once every three four years it remind I'll tweak it and I get like a

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shooting pain like a sciatica pinched nerve shooting pain down my left leg

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usually I can put some heat on it and stretch and then I know how to I went to

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a chiropractor back then and saw how he would crack my back and I could kind of

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do it myself okay and I would be okay so this time I'm like okay but this time it

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felt a little it started differently it was felt muscular at first like the

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small of my back on the law soar and then it kind of moved and then it was in my

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hip and then it started with down the leg and I try it was it's been a

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challenge I'm just now weeks later at the point where I'm not taking stuff

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like I'm not taking a leave or anything but it was bad bad enough that I went to

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urgent care really they gave me a course of prednisone which usually that stuff

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it's a steroid oh but it's a basically a very very strong anti-inflammatory it's

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funny I was talking to my boss mad about it he's like anytime anybody get I've

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ever had prednisone I feel like Superman it's true you do really because it just

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like nothing hurts it's just it's an anti-inflammatory is very very strong so

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felt better for a few days and as soon as that wore off yeah it was back so I

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went to my my general practitioner they gave me some muscle relaxers those were

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fun yeah the bottle says take up to three a day as needed no I took one

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you're loopy at night that first night and I was I was obvious it was like I

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was intoxicated I never had I'd never taken how do you feel like just I felt

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like I'd had two double scotches oh it was a great I was in a great mood for

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you a cigar it was just just like that like just not not where you're like

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really drunk but just a nice buzz like nice everybody wants to be when they're

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drinking you're just joking around being goofy you can see what's addictive oh

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yeah no that's it's a dangerous thing like because it is it's just like you

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take one and like like yeah just everything it really did so but that

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I'll put a little by little I have I've improved but I do think it is this is

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one of the first time where my age as a dad clearly is showing I'm I could feel

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it I mean you got it's coming around when a machine was doing all the heavy

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lifting literally I would have been dragging my shoulder you got hurt

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driving a machine that does all the work yes that's how old we got yeah

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that's it that's that's a great that's a great way of thinking about what

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happened to you how it works now it's like oh no you get you get hurt you see

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writing the videos of these videos of these guys like it'll be like on a farm

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and a guy will jump out of the cab of a big tractor and the caption I'll be like

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we all compare doing this at 50 compared to when I was 30 and the guy jumps out

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he thinks he walks away and then he gets confused he turns around and looks and

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his body is dead his body is like crumpled up on the ground there's so

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many videos like that yeah and then guy looking at the ghost goes oh really no

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that's the way it is we had there's one video the guy literally skipped a curb I

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mean it was like not even that's it that's us so yeah that is us now I am I

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am better I think I'm gonna stop I had to yeah so but I have I just made an

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appointment to go I got a prescription for physical therapy so I'm gonna go

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I want to do so I excite it is it is muscular okay I think it's an imbalance

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and I think if I get some good exercises straighten it to balance myself out I

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will have less of a problem with it so that's what I'm gonna go for yeah so we

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did that so that was right away then as I mentioned at the end of the last

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episode we were headed to Buffalo yes for a family party yes to visit with

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some of Kelly's family that are all out there and and it was also the first

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time we weren't sure but there was the possibility that I would get to interact

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with Kelly's mom sure so we we took a nice try it was a beautiful day nice

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drive out it was what I think is interesting is it's so different that

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now this side the this side of her family they're all really nice right it

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is the mother's side of the family okay they're all great and I get along very

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well with with all of them very nice people and very warm but like imagine

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you're at a party and you know your mom's gonna be your mom arrives what's

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the first thing that happens you're like you're talking to your one of your aunts

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and your mother arrives to a party I get up and I agree to her yeah I go no I

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go to my mom none of that always and I just when I see this stuff happening for

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me it's like what's going on like cuz that's my the first thing I would do is

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go say hi absolutely no and and then and also if you didn't let's say you were

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really tied up with something your mom would probably have come straight to you

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or you should remind me that she's there no no there's not that continue

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but I have to say you know we interacted a little bit and it was she was she was

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pleasant she said hello we said hello talked a little bit she was she was

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getting attention I have to admit she was getting some very positive attention

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from little baby Jonesy oh and I was surprised and a little bit hurt come on

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if you're gonna if you're gonna like okay you'd like do what you do with

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Carlo don't start crying and the one that loves you you cry yeah no I didn't

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get that today she didn't you know she's doing better but no she was she was

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playing you know you know paying her attention and and she warmed up to her

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pretty good it was nice to see absolutely it was interesting because

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they had this was a party like an 80th birthday party okay with somebody on

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that side of the family gotcha but they had a reptile guy excuse me so

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apparently for one of the kids in the family for a birthday party they had

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this guy apparently he's like famous I don't remember his name Carson no he's

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been on Jimmy Fallon all these TV shows and he has all these it sounds like he

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has like a resume yeah yeah big thing and he had some fun you know he had a big

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snake and he had so like a lemur really yeah and it was like I mean that's

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different I think it'd be something definitely something more that you would

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expect at a kid's birthday but because they had just had it and it was fun they

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decided to do it for those two that's funny and there were a lot of kids

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because it was kind of almost like a family reunion very cool very different

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it was very neat and got to got to visit a little bit got to see uncle David and

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auntie Gabe and and got to see Kelly's mom so this was nice it was a nice trip

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and you know baby Josie had a great time that's awesome had a nice drive home so

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so that was that was a good thing is that gonna lead to something I'm gonna

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see I've tried since uh-huh so I thought okay look now we've had that

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interaction it was pleasant so we were out on the boat which we will talk about

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a little bit okay and I took a picture of Kelly and baby Josie and I think it's

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the picture I said I think I had that right I sent it to you and I said I

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because until everything kind of went heady wampus with when when Kelly went

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back to work with the mother check season one if you want to know what

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the whole thing I was sending pictures of the baby yeah you're so I thought

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okay I'll try that again and and so I've done that a little bit okay and but

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we'll see hopefully you know there's no reason why look all I all I want out of

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the deal is to not have her be mean to my wife all I was about was respecting

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your wife yeah don't make my wife cry right yeah we've covered a lot of ground

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and we have even more to tell you about baby Josie's adventures but we're gonna

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close for now but don't forget to subscribe to us on YouTube and follow us

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on Facebook Instagram and tick-tock thanks for sticking with us and we'll

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see you next time well folks that's another episode of the gray hair and

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daycare podcast in the books thanks very much for tuning in and spending this

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time with us we hope it was fun if you enjoyed this week's descent into the

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madness of dadness be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of

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our future adventures while you're at it give us a like and share the cast

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with your friends on Facebook Instagram Twitter carrier pigeon whatever you

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00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,220
crazy kids are using have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions

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about navigating fatherhood later in life or even when normal people do it email

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us at ghdc.podcast at gmail.com we'd love to hear from you and now if you'll

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excuse me I'm going to bed