Cabbage Patch Kids, Glucose Guesses and a Farewell to Ankles: Episode 12

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This is the gray hair and daycare podcast with a combined age of 111 years and a combined IQ right in that same range.

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Your hosts, Frank Serio and Carlo Russo.

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Welcome back.

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We are here once again, and this time it's personal.

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As always, I am Frank Serio, I'm 55 years old and my wife is 29 weeks pregnant.

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We're coming down to, like we could start doing 10 to go because week 39 is probably when things are going to happen.

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So we're right now at 10 to go, 10 weeks.

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So episode 12, episode 12, we are 10 weeks to go.

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Yeah.

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We're here.

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We did it, baby.

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Kelly's fine, but we did it.

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This is, this is amazing.

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We did it.

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You know, when you, when you say that, it isn't, we are at the point now, and again, I liked, I would say, I actually said this to Kelly earlier today.

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I think I understand things.

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I understand the basics of what's happening with her, of what's happening with her pregnancy, but I have to say, to watch, to have this experience of watching her go through her pregnancy and seeing the transformation of her body, of what, everything she is going through, of all, of what's happening, to witness it in real time and see, see how things are working.

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It really is incredible.

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It is amazing.

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The miracle.

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Like, I think about how, the difference, I, like, I, how much different I feel if I drop 10 pounds.

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Right.

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She has put on, and she's right now, she's right on track, everything, please doctors don't get mad at me, but she's like, you know, 20% of her body, of her normal weight she has put on.

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Yeah.

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Right?

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In such a short period of time, and she's just, she's adapting and she's.

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It's true.

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It's incredible.

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Yeah, when you look at it that way, like when you look at a pregnant person going, oh, they're different.

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You're not thinking of, wait a minute.

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They're not supposed to be this size.

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No.

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This is not normal to them.

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Completely different.

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Yeah.

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Because, yeah, like you said, when we gain 10 pounds or lose 10 pounds, we feel it.

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You feel like a new person.

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Exactly.

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You're like, oh my God.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So that's got to be.

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No, it is incredible.

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Like, watch it.

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Watch.

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And it's got to be a mental thing too.

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That's why a lot of people go through, a lot of women go through that aspect of the pregnancy.

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Yeah.

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Like, I'm not, you know, some people might say, oh my God, I don't look like the same way.

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I don't feel.

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Right.

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You know, like whatever, whatever you, it's because that weight, that size, that look in the mirror is not the same person.

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Yup.

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You're like, who is this person?

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Why am I feeling this way?

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Yeah.

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No, she, it's amazing watching the, yeah, watching the changes that are happening.

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But so back to our normal, our normal pattern and our normal pattern is to talk about the produce update.

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I love produce.

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So last week we were, it was a butternut squash, a butternut squash, butternut squash, which is would fit right there.

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This time we're saying it is that she is the size of a large cabbage and a more rounder, but a large cabbage.

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So we're a large cabbage and the, the update of note is right now there is about one and a half pints of amniotic fluid that she's floating around and in there.

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And then, but right now is where that starts to reduce as she gets bigger.

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So now it's less and less, it gets bigger and less.

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Yeah.

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So she goes, so now that reduces as she continues to get bigger, but much more what I have noticed just generally way more movement, not like now, almost like almost any time I have the opportunity, you're going to feel something.

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I can feel some action and, and Kelly is much more vocal about, she's like, yeah, she, she wants a new apartment.

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She'll be like, she's over here now.

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She'll like, boy, she's like, she's a traveler, she's moving down the street, she's moving around.

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That's funny.

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So yeah, so that is, I mean, obviously the bigger they get, the more you're going to feel all that.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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I mean, that's, but it is fun.

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It's fun now.

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Cause in the beginning it was like, yeah, I felt it.

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No, now it's like, yeah, you really can feel you go from, maybe I felt it.

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I think I did.

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Yeah.

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To like, oh yeah, this is happening.

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Yeah.

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There's the foot.

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Yeah.

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I felt it.

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She gave me a high five.

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Yeah.

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That's cool.

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So yeah, very cool stuff.

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So that is our, our update for week 29 and we are going to move into the silver Fox mailbox.

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So this time we have some comments that have come up and so the first comment we, there were multiple comments from different listeners about, we talked about Stuller cookies, which we seem to talk about a lot, this, the ones that I like the Swiss fudge.

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Apparently that was a favorite of many people who, yes, more than one, it was, it was the Swiss fudge.

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I don't know if they still make them.

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I never see them in the store anymore.

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I don't, I don't look for them.

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Yeah.

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I'm not in that area.

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I always look.

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Yeah.

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But the, so there were a couple of comments about, it always makes me laugh too.

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We were watching a lot of times I'll just have, I'll put on stand up in the background and Sebastian Maniscalco does the thing about when he, the lunch he would bring and he was tired.

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Do you guys make sure you dump those in coffee?

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The S cookies.

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But yeah, so that always makes me feel.

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I'm an S cookie dunker.

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I like that.

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They're great.

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Classic.

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They're great.

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Classic.

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They have some.

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Oh, I like it.

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So I just sound like Sebastian right now.

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Classic.

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Classic.

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That's a, we had a couple of comments like that.

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The other one that came up on one of our social media posts, we were asking again about lullaby suggestions.

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So we have not done two couple episodes ago.

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We did the Billy Joel song, lullaby, a good night, my good night, my angel, but I don't, we haven't, we didn't have one last week and, but we, we were talking online about what people saying to their kids.

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We had a few.

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Okay.

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So one, one listener, Christine said her husband would sing daydream believer.

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Okay.

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Do you remember who did David daydream believer?

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Was that the monkeys?

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Daydream believer is the monkeys.

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Okay.

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It made me think Davy Jones was the little British guy and then the one who actually was talented was Mike Nesmith, the one who would always wear the beanie.

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Mike, he was a real musician.

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There were two.

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He was a real, yeah, well I think the other Peter, Peter taught the other one, Peter, the bass player.

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I don't know what they played.

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I know I can picture them.

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So there was the one guy who sang that wasn't the British guy.

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I don't know what his name was, but he, let us know the names.

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Yeah.

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Mike Nesmith.

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Mike Nesmith I know had two things.

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His mother invented whiteout.

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Yes, I do remember hearing that.

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Absolutely.

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Is it true?

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I think it is.

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And then the other thing that I think is interesting, he wrote some of the songs and he wrote a song that was made famous by Linda Ronstadt.

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Ooh.

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Um, now I'm, now I'm spacing on the song.

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It was one of her hits, different drum, different drum.

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That song was a big hit for her and he wrote it for the monkeys and they were like, nah, and then she ended up doing it.

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But yeah, there, so there was, there was that.

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So Daydream Believer, that's what her, her father used to say, her, she said her husband would sing that to their kids.

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Okay.

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Daydream Believer.

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So cute idea.

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Another listener and my sister Lucille suggest she would sing My Girl to her, to her daughter.

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Yeah.

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By the Temptations.

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Great.

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That's another great song.

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Great song.

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And then another, another listener, Gina said she would sing, and I quote, on a loop, she would sing You Are My Sunshine.

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So those are, those are cute ones.

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We got, we've got a bunch of different, those suggestions, some others, I've got some ideas.

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So please let us know, let me know what, which one you want me to do next.

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I think what I would like to do, I want to do the one from Mary Poppins, the Don't Fall Asleep or whatever it's called.

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So I might, I might do that one next.

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You can kind of pick whatever, you know, any kind of song.

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Sounds like most of these are not lullabies, they're just songs, like you were, like you were doing.

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But yeah, I'm going to have to do some of the regular, like regular, because there are a lot of cute lullabies, but I'm going right into the deep tracks.

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I don't know, did, did you say your parents did lullabies for you?

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Not that I recall.

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Me either.

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I don't remember.

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No, no, my, my father and my mother would sing around, sing around the house all the time.

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Absolutely.

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But no, no, I don't remember.

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Me either.

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That's all I'm trying.

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I'm like, I don't remember being lullabied.

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But I guess when you're that little, when you're singing lullaby, they're so little, I don't know if they would remember.

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Unless you were really bad.

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And you were, right, you were the last child, so you wouldn't know, but I don't remember her doing it to my younger brother.

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I can't picture anybody singing a lullaby to Mike.

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You'd just be looking at him like, but no, yeah, no, I don't recall that.

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And I haven't.

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I didn't either.

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No.

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I did.

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I did find a picture.

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We were going through some pictures.

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Yeah.

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I did find a picture of baby Natalia in the bed, our bed.

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And obviously Trina must have taken it.

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She had to because I'm in the picture.

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But it shows the back of me with my guitar.

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Oh yeah.

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And so I'm playing for the baby at least.

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Oh, that's fun.

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And I wasn't singing.

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I know that.

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But I was at least playing something.

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And that picture was, I'm like, oh my God, I don't remember that.

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But that's because she took the picture and I didn't know if I ever knew that she did that.

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It is.

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I have to say, at some point I do want, I had that thought the other day, because again, more things are happening and I'm feeling the kicks and bumps and stuff.

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And I was thinking about, I want to, I want to start, I want to put my guitar and play and let her feel it.

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And, but I, it's also like, not that I feel weird, I guess in a little way, you know, Kelly, come here, I want to do that.

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So, but I think I'm going to try to do that this week.

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If Kelly can go beyond the weirdness of that, it would, I think she'd like, I think she'd get a kick out of it.

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She will.

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Yeah.

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Cause I, yeah, I think, yeah, there's, you know, that vibrates.

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It's going to be.

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Absolutely.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So hopefully I'll, hopefully I'll get a chance to do that.

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I definitely want to.

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I didn't do that.

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No.

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I want to try it.

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My closest was to, obviously when the baby was in the bed, but it was a neat, it was a neat picture of something I didn't know I was in.

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And if I did, I must've forgot it's 23 years ago.

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So when I saw it recently, when I was going through my, my pictures for my mom that recently passed away, I found all these other pictures and it's crazy.

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Did you, when your, when your mom passed away and you looked at pictures, didn't it bring, I don't know if you did that.

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You did that with your family.

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Yeah.

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You know what I want?

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I want to say like one of the things I was, I've talked about it before I do hallow.

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And one of the things I'm listening to on how this morning talked about how looking at your child, it's a thing about, it's a thing about basically how to be a good father in the context of faith.

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And they're talking about how looking at your child, you're not looking at your child.

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You can't look at your child as this child is going to be what I want, what I make of them, that you have to think about it in terms of for whatever reason, God chose you to, to be the caretaker for this person.

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And that, it made me think about your mom very recently passed away and I don't, I didn't, I didn't know your mom very well, only a little bit, but I know you and it is a testament to who your mother was because God gave, entrusted her with you and the kind of, the kind of soul you are, the kind of person you are, it says a lot about your mom.

233
00:12:53,730 --> 00:13:09,330
And you know, I think, you know, I know how, I know how hard it is when you lose a parent and to answer your question, one of the most therapeutic things I did was those pictures.

234
00:13:09,470 --> 00:13:21,990
I went through all the pictures, I did all that and made a slideshow and picked music, you know, picked the music to play behind it and did that stuff and cried and cried and cried.

235
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:22,470
Oh yeah.

236
00:13:22,690 --> 00:13:23,610
It's good to cry.

237
00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:25,310
But it was very helpful.

238
00:13:25,890 --> 00:13:29,130
So I can picture, so you, you went, kind of went through that stuff and saw the old pictures.

239
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:40,570
I went through it and then, you know, it tells, photos tell your story and memories that you have not remembered or thought of in such a long time.

240
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:48,030
And going through this photos for my mother's memorial, it brought me from birth because

241
00:13:48,030 --> 00:13:55,110
there's photos of me being born to immigration story of us living in Germany and then America

242
00:13:55,830 --> 00:14:02,390
and then coming here and then building our lives here all by photos and reliving this

243
00:14:02,390 --> 00:14:06,870
and seeing my mother, you know, through the years and us getting older and the pictures

244
00:14:06,870 --> 00:14:12,070
getting, and then there's, there's weddings and then there's grandkids and then there's

245
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:16,470
even photos of her in her last few years of her life.

246
00:14:17,170 --> 00:14:23,750
And as I'm crying and all this stuff, it's also healing because it's like, Oh, I had 88 years.

247
00:14:24,190 --> 00:14:24,370
Yep.

248
00:14:24,510 --> 00:14:25,170
At 88.

249
00:14:25,370 --> 00:14:26,610
She had 88 years.

250
00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:26,850
I'm sorry.

251
00:14:26,890 --> 00:14:31,210
I had 56 years of her being my mother and sharing that.

252
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:34,750
And I felt lucky that a lot of people don't have that.

253
00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,250
56 years with their parents.

254
00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:40,570
So when you think of that stuff, it makes it a little bit easier.

255
00:14:40,710 --> 00:14:41,470
It still hurts.

256
00:14:41,850 --> 00:14:46,350
It's still, you know, she raised not only, not only her own kids.

257
00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:49,550
She raised my kids, my brother's kids.

258
00:14:49,670 --> 00:14:56,250
And before that, before I even knew this beautiful soul, she raised her nephews and nieces when their parent died.

259
00:14:56,710 --> 00:14:56,830
Yeah.

260
00:14:57,470 --> 00:15:02,190
Um, so, and it makes me want to be a better father.

261
00:15:02,710 --> 00:15:07,650
Well, you're, you're a great dad and she was, she was a great mom without a doubt.

262
00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:08,510
Without a doubt.

263
00:15:08,730 --> 00:15:13,350
But I got my dad and, um, it's time to, um, know him a little bit better.

264
00:15:13,550 --> 00:15:13,810
Yep.

265
00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:32,870
That, honestly, the one thing that, you know, when they get to be that age with my folks, my mom, my mom was around a little bit longer than my dad and, but, and then my one uncle, my uncle Johnny was really the last of that generation to go.

266
00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:34,690
He lived well into his nineties.

267
00:15:35,570 --> 00:15:48,530
And the, the, the thing that the only thing I looked back at and I, I felt like I missed out on is when you get to that point, like you still got your dad, do you have any aunts or uncles that are still alive?

268
00:15:48,590 --> 00:15:51,430
I have one aunt left and she's in Venezuela.

269
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:52,570
In Venezuela?

270
00:15:52,850 --> 00:15:53,150
Really?

271
00:15:53,710 --> 00:16:07,930
So even with your dad, this is the time to ask all those questions and remember all those stories because there is a weird closure that happens when that generation is gone.

272
00:16:08,030 --> 00:16:08,950
There's no more.

273
00:16:09,070 --> 00:16:10,130
I used to do it all the time.

274
00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:10,870
I'd call my mother.

275
00:16:11,110 --> 00:16:11,430
Let me ask.

276
00:16:11,550 --> 00:16:13,810
Hey, what is, what was this or how did this happen?

277
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,010
The key word is let me ask.

278
00:16:15,150 --> 00:16:15,350
Yeah.

279
00:16:15,370 --> 00:16:16,070
Let me call mom.

280
00:16:16,130 --> 00:16:16,710
I'm going to call mom.

281
00:16:17,430 --> 00:16:19,630
And, and that goes away.

282
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:24,730
Take the opportunity to capture that stuff and write stuff and even write stuff down.

283
00:16:25,550 --> 00:16:26,110
But that's it.

284
00:16:26,170 --> 00:16:42,330
The hard, the hard part now is when for you is you get to have the, when, when things get quiet and you think, and then there are going to be those moments, I'm sure that you, I know it was with mine, with my mom, where you'll think, oh, I'm going to, I'm just going to call.

285
00:16:42,490 --> 00:16:43,210
I want to tell mom.

286
00:16:43,330 --> 00:16:43,990
I mean, it happens.

287
00:16:44,210 --> 00:16:50,130
I mean, obviously just, it happened very recent from us doing this podcast, but yeah, I've already done it 10 times.

288
00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:50,490
Yeah.

289
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:51,890
Like, oh my God, what's my mom?

290
00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:53,330
And then the wave comes.

291
00:16:53,630 --> 00:17:01,310
The thing that I, and it's about my dad, it's, um, I want to make sure he knows that, um, we weren't at the house just for my mom.

292
00:17:01,330 --> 00:17:01,730
Yeah.

293
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:02,450
Yeah.

294
00:17:02,470 --> 00:17:03,670
He's also, you know?

295
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:08,050
So a lot of times the dads, your dad's very similar to mine.

296
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:08,349
Yeah.

297
00:17:08,470 --> 00:17:09,349
Very hard shell.

298
00:17:09,470 --> 00:17:10,770
Just don't break it.

299
00:17:10,950 --> 00:17:15,410
I'm going to show you exactly what you need to see from me and that's all I'm going to give you.

300
00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:15,930
Yeah.

301
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:21,310
So sometimes I always think, does my dad know that we're coming here to visit both of them?

302
00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:25,230
Even though, yes, we did have a closer relationship with my mother.

303
00:17:25,290 --> 00:17:30,170
It's just, that's the way, you know, that's the way he built it and that's the way we, you know, we took it.

304
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:39,090
So I, right now I just want to make sure he also knows in his mind, he's not saying, well, now that my, their mother's gone, they're not going to come here.

305
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:39,390
Right.

306
00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:41,550
And I want to make sure that that doesn't happen.

307
00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:42,010
Yeah.

308
00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:43,270
No, that, yeah.

309
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:44,650
That's a, that's a big thing.

310
00:17:44,650 --> 00:17:57,170
I think that there, I think for dad, yeah, for, for fathers, like the fathers that we had, I think there is that like they, they, cause it doesn't matter what they showed us.

311
00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:57,470
Right.

312
00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:01,670
They see, they see the difference.

313
00:18:01,670 --> 00:18:08,350
They see how we are with, with, with the mothers and they're, you know, they're just as human as we are.

314
00:18:08,770 --> 00:18:09,070
They're just.

315
00:18:09,730 --> 00:18:21,310
I see it with my kids and I take myself as a good father and I know the mother, the love of the mother is different because there is that bond of birth.

316
00:18:22,150 --> 00:18:22,430
Yeah.

317
00:18:22,530 --> 00:18:29,670
There is that bond of what Kelly's doing right now is growing that baby inside her and you cannot ever take that away.

318
00:18:30,110 --> 00:18:32,390
And it's not as a father, I don't hate it.

319
00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:37,190
I don't think, Oh my God, I'm just not, I, cause I know, cause I have that feeling with my mother.

320
00:18:38,170 --> 00:18:38,650
Yeah.

321
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:55,310
And, and, and I love my father to death and, and I've seen such a change in him as he got older, obviously, where all these walls that he had up have been coming down because they have to, cause they're getting older and they need you now.

322
00:18:55,510 --> 00:19:03,430
They need, especially if you have parents that don't speak English and they can't, you know, they can't write or read and you have to be them for, for them.

323
00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:09,650
And then when they get older, there's a lot of more health questions and issues that they didn't have when they were 43.

324
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:10,310
Yeah.

325
00:19:10,450 --> 00:19:16,570
You know, they didn't need you as much, but when, when they do need you, these walls come down and I've seen that.

326
00:19:17,070 --> 00:19:19,170
My mom never had walls with us.

327
00:19:19,370 --> 00:19:19,530
Right.

328
00:19:20,230 --> 00:19:21,190
And that was the difference.

329
00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:24,350
My dad had to put walls up and protect us and do it.

330
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:27,770
And my mom was like, I'm going to tell, I'm going to give you whatever I have.

331
00:19:27,810 --> 00:19:28,050
Yeah.

332
00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:28,670
Yeah.

333
00:19:28,670 --> 00:19:29,350
Good, bad, ugly.

334
00:19:29,610 --> 00:19:30,470
You're going to know it all.

335
00:19:30,490 --> 00:19:30,990
It was different.

336
00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:31,330
Yeah.

337
00:19:31,330 --> 00:19:34,830
And when my dad is like, if you only know the ugly part, that's fine.

338
00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:35,870
Cause you're going to have a house.

339
00:19:35,930 --> 00:19:36,870
You're going to have money.

340
00:19:36,870 --> 00:19:38,370
You're going to have, you're not going to be dirty.

341
00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:41,510
And I, that makes me a good father to him.

342
00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:41,810
Right.

343
00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:42,810
That's the way he did it.

344
00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:54,290
So right now I just want to make sure he knows he's not a listener, but make sure he knows that we weren't visiting because we were just there for my mother.

345
00:19:55,050 --> 00:20:02,450
Obviously the last two years, health wise, we were there for my mother and he knew that and he was doing the same thing to help her as well.

346
00:20:02,710 --> 00:20:07,030
So right now I do want to take that time, like you said, and say, Hey, let's have a cup of coffee.

347
00:20:07,350 --> 00:20:07,590
Yeah.

348
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:08,830
Tell me about your stories.

349
00:20:09,070 --> 00:20:11,410
Tell me about, you know, your father and mother.

350
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:11,870
Yeah.

351
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:15,230
That's, that's something that it's, you know, it's different.

352
00:20:15,310 --> 00:20:31,390
I think like with, with my family, with my dad and that those difficulties is for my, my brother, obviously we've talked about, he's much older and so he, you know, he went to college, he graduated college, he moved away.

353
00:20:32,550 --> 00:20:34,570
They had a very difficult relationship.

354
00:20:34,810 --> 00:20:35,130
Right.

355
00:20:35,130 --> 00:20:41,370
I'm sure my dad was difficult enough when I had him and he was in his fifties.

356
00:20:41,570 --> 00:20:41,690
Right.

357
00:20:41,890 --> 00:20:42,210
Right.

358
00:20:42,290 --> 00:20:44,310
My brother had him when he was in his thirties.

359
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:44,930
Right.

360
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:45,490
Yeah.

361
00:20:45,490 --> 00:20:47,510
And these were the power in the world.

362
00:20:47,850 --> 00:20:48,330
Yeah.

363
00:20:48,570 --> 00:20:53,070
Like this was not, yeah, this is not somebody you messed with.

364
00:20:53,110 --> 00:20:53,270
Right.

365
00:20:53,270 --> 00:20:53,430
Right.

366
00:20:53,810 --> 00:21:00,350
And so he had a very different experience and a much more combative experience, right.

367
00:21:00,690 --> 00:21:12,150
As a young, as a young adult and, and, and then when he left that never, when he came home to visit, it was just back to the day he left, right.

368
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:20,270
He never had long periods of time to, to get to know my father in a different way.

369
00:21:20,910 --> 00:21:23,290
I had much less conflict.

370
00:21:23,430 --> 00:21:43,090
I had a very different father than my brother did or my, or my sister, but there was a time and it really, what, where it changed for me, I think was there was a point at some point in my life after I had moved away from home, I left home when I was 18 that I had was like between apartments.

371
00:21:43,090 --> 00:21:49,570
Like I had a lease that was ending, I was going to move in with my friend, Ed and Dave and yeah.

372
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:54,550
And I was like a month that I needed to move home and I moved home.

373
00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:59,470
My dad was already retired and I would come home and he would be up late at night watching TV.

374
00:21:59,590 --> 00:22:11,390
I come home from work and I got to talk to him and I had heard all the stories and stuff, but it, it allowed me to appreciate my father as a person.

375
00:22:11,470 --> 00:22:16,670
Like I didn't think he did it like at that time I really didn't think he did a good job.

376
00:22:17,090 --> 00:22:19,050
I had not been through enough life.

377
00:22:19,410 --> 00:22:24,370
I had not been through enough in my life to realize the things that he did give me.

378
00:22:24,410 --> 00:22:24,890
How good.

379
00:22:24,990 --> 00:22:25,130
Yeah.

380
00:22:25,230 --> 00:22:25,490
Right.

381
00:22:25,570 --> 00:22:26,510
What he gave you was good.

382
00:22:26,510 --> 00:22:26,830
Yeah.

383
00:22:26,950 --> 00:22:38,390
The, the, the things that when the chips are down, when life really puts you on your knees, it was the things that I learned from him that made me get back up.

384
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:46,830
But at that point I didn't appreciate that at all, but I got to appreciate him as a person.

385
00:22:46,970 --> 00:22:48,170
This was an interesting guy.

386
00:22:48,330 --> 00:22:49,830
He led a very interesting life.

387
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:50,090
Yes.

388
00:22:50,150 --> 00:22:51,630
Well you tell me about what he did.

389
00:22:51,670 --> 00:22:52,270
Crazy shit.

390
00:22:52,650 --> 00:22:52,870
Shocked.

391
00:22:53,070 --> 00:22:54,930
Like he did incredible stuff.

392
00:22:54,930 --> 00:22:58,390
He, he, he had a good sense of humor.

393
00:22:58,650 --> 00:23:08,030
I got to appreciate him as a, as a, a man and it will find out the man and it allowed me to appreciate, appreciate him in a different way.

394
00:23:08,050 --> 00:23:14,170
Like this is a guy who I would want to know who also, who was also my, my father who didn't do a great job.

395
00:23:14,350 --> 00:23:14,770
Right.

396
00:23:14,950 --> 00:23:16,250
This man's interesting.

397
00:23:16,390 --> 00:23:16,530
Yeah.

398
00:23:16,550 --> 00:23:17,450
He's an interesting guy.

399
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:21,990
And I don't think my brother ever, he didn't get that opportunity.

400
00:23:21,990 --> 00:23:22,690
It makes it hard.

401
00:23:22,830 --> 00:23:23,890
It made it harder for him.

402
00:23:24,590 --> 00:23:42,110
And you know, it also, it also took me back to talking about my niece was, had posted a video on Tik Tok about how listening to the podcast, when I talk about how my father never told us that he loved us, he never said the words.

403
00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:46,150
And she was saying how it made more sense for it.

404
00:23:46,150 --> 00:23:49,290
It made her understand my brother, her father better.

405
00:23:49,870 --> 00:23:50,350
Absolutely.

406
00:23:50,350 --> 00:23:52,110
And I thought that was, that was interesting.

407
00:23:52,250 --> 00:23:58,050
But then I'm talking about it with my sister and she's like, well, mom never said she loved us either.

408
00:23:59,190 --> 00:24:04,070
And I had to think about it and there's such a difference and she's right.

409
00:24:04,870 --> 00:24:07,830
They, neither of them, but I think that was their generation.

410
00:24:07,910 --> 00:24:08,050
Yeah.

411
00:24:08,150 --> 00:24:08,550
I don't, yeah.

412
00:24:08,730 --> 00:24:16,190
They didn't say it, but now the difference was my mother, obviously I felt very loved.

413
00:24:16,250 --> 00:24:18,150
She was a very loving woman, very kind woman.

414
00:24:18,650 --> 00:24:25,130
I have very, I have memories from when I'm very little of feeling very loved, but she didn't.

415
00:24:25,290 --> 00:24:34,310
Like it was a thing that I think later on in life, I think my sister, my one sister had a conversation with her mother, like, why don't you ever say it?

416
00:24:34,310 --> 00:24:45,310
And then she started to, but you know, I just think that was one of those things that, that they didn't, at least with my family, they didn't, they just didn't say it.

417
00:24:45,310 --> 00:24:48,650
I don't, maybe it goes back to that bond we have with our mothers.

418
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:49,190
Yeah.

419
00:24:49,470 --> 00:24:54,050
Cause there's, when she said that, I was like, no.

420
00:24:54,250 --> 00:24:57,130
And I thought there's no way she was saying it to me and not them.

421
00:24:57,530 --> 00:25:02,270
Like, but they showed it, our fathers showed it different.

422
00:25:02,770 --> 00:25:12,710
And that's the difference is that a kid, I think a kid understands what the, when the mother is showing, yes, is demonstrating love.

423
00:25:13,290 --> 00:25:14,530
They understand that.

424
00:25:14,630 --> 00:25:17,830
It's like they're yelling, I love you without saying it.

425
00:25:18,170 --> 00:25:22,490
And when I, when a father is doing it in many ways, there's fear behind it too.

426
00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:31,290
There's a lot more fear where I didn't, I mean, I always also feel my mother obviously, but you knew how much you can going to get out of my mother compared to my dad.

427
00:25:31,390 --> 00:25:32,210
I feared him.

428
00:25:32,370 --> 00:25:32,570
Yeah.

429
00:25:32,790 --> 00:25:34,410
I didn't want him to be mad.

430
00:25:34,790 --> 00:25:36,950
I didn't want him to be disappointed in me.

431
00:25:37,030 --> 00:25:47,170
And I also, I also didn't want to depend on him because he would tell me, don't call me if you're getting in trouble or if you get arrested or if you're, I'm the last one you want to call.

432
00:25:47,690 --> 00:25:53,290
So, so a young person could take that as, can you just tell me you love me?

433
00:25:53,990 --> 00:25:57,590
Even though they are telling you that, that moment, like, yeah, just don't screw up.

434
00:25:57,610 --> 00:25:58,370
I'm here for you.

435
00:25:58,550 --> 00:26:02,370
You know, it's, it's, it's weird, but my mother did say, I love you.

436
00:26:02,390 --> 00:26:02,590
Yeah.

437
00:26:02,710 --> 00:26:02,930
Yeah.

438
00:26:02,990 --> 00:26:03,130
Yeah.

439
00:26:03,650 --> 00:26:05,690
And the older she got, the more it came out.

440
00:26:05,810 --> 00:26:06,030
More and more.

441
00:26:06,110 --> 00:26:06,290
Yeah.

442
00:26:06,430 --> 00:26:07,690
Cause yeah, my mom, leader in life.

443
00:26:07,730 --> 00:26:08,070
Absolutely.

444
00:26:08,190 --> 00:26:08,770
All the time.

445
00:26:08,770 --> 00:26:09,290
Yeah.

446
00:26:09,290 --> 00:26:09,550
Yeah.

447
00:26:09,550 --> 00:26:10,730
But I think it was, it was different.

448
00:26:10,970 --> 00:26:19,130
And when we were talking about it, there was even, there's an episode of everybody loves Raymond where I remember they're, they're asking the parents, like he's asking his parents why they didn't.

449
00:26:19,230 --> 00:26:19,830
And they're like, right.

450
00:26:19,870 --> 00:26:21,550
The father's like, what do you live in a fairyland?

451
00:26:21,690 --> 00:26:21,850
Right.

452
00:26:21,990 --> 00:26:22,090
Right.

453
00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:22,950
It was completely.

454
00:26:23,110 --> 00:26:28,150
That would be what I would think my dad would say if I asked him, I have this running joke with everybody loves Raymond.

455
00:26:28,290 --> 00:26:32,210
If my parents spoke English, that is my family.

456
00:26:32,690 --> 00:26:33,050
Yeah.

457
00:26:33,110 --> 00:26:36,050
Across, live across the street from each other.

458
00:26:36,210 --> 00:26:36,570
Yeah.

459
00:26:36,570 --> 00:26:42,450
And my mother, you know how she was, she, she always like, she thought that wife couldn't cook or clean or raise the kids.

460
00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:42,850
Right.

461
00:26:42,930 --> 00:26:47,610
Not that my, you know, not that my mom thought that of my wife, she loved, but she was always there to help.

462
00:26:47,610 --> 00:26:48,370
You can see that face.

463
00:26:48,450 --> 00:26:48,750
Yes.

464
00:26:48,830 --> 00:26:49,330
That, that face.

465
00:26:49,410 --> 00:26:49,530
Yeah.

466
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:51,990
She was always, let me, let me bring the lasagna.

467
00:26:52,210 --> 00:26:53,770
Let me, let me, yeah.

468
00:26:54,030 --> 00:26:54,790
That's fantastic.

469
00:26:54,870 --> 00:26:56,210
Here's a vacuum for Christmas.

470
00:26:56,930 --> 00:26:58,130
Do you know how to use it?

471
00:26:58,650 --> 00:26:59,370
That's awesome.

472
00:27:00,010 --> 00:27:00,930
So my mother.

473
00:27:01,110 --> 00:27:01,270
Yeah.

474
00:27:01,330 --> 00:27:02,550
So it's been rough.

475
00:27:02,550 --> 00:27:15,390
It's been rough, but you realize that so many things that she did for you when you were growing up and like you said, times that you thought, Oh my God, especially the teenage years, I hate these people.

476
00:27:15,490 --> 00:27:16,670
They're trying to ruin my life.

477
00:27:16,810 --> 00:27:17,030
Oh yeah.

478
00:27:17,230 --> 00:27:22,150
And now it's like, Oh my God, thank you for everything you put me through.

479
00:27:22,530 --> 00:27:27,050
And because I, you know, that's how we want to raise our kids.

480
00:27:27,590 --> 00:27:37,190
And the nicest thing you could hear when you go through wakes and funerals and stuff and families around is when somebody says, um, your mother raised you right.

481
00:27:37,270 --> 00:27:42,730
You guys are, you guys are, you guys did good and she did good and you realize, yeah, okay.

482
00:27:42,730 --> 00:27:42,990
Yeah.

483
00:27:42,990 --> 00:27:43,750
She did her job.

484
00:27:44,070 --> 00:27:49,050
Now I have to do that to my kids and I hope, and you'll do it to your daughter and, and uh, yeah.

485
00:27:49,230 --> 00:27:51,610
Cause we have friends that like their mothers destroyed them.

486
00:27:53,130 --> 00:28:03,090
I mean, listen, there's some mothers out there that they'll, a lot of people will take their fathers, you know, because some mothers are equal, right?

487
00:28:03,210 --> 00:28:10,570
Not all mothers are equal as we know in the horrible stories that you hear through friends like, Oh, my mother didn't even, you know, whatever.

488
00:28:10,770 --> 00:28:14,510
And then you sit back and go, I am so good with my family.

489
00:28:14,510 --> 00:28:22,030
I am so thankful that I had the people in my world because it could be so much worse.

490
00:28:22,150 --> 00:28:22,330
Oh yeah.

491
00:28:22,350 --> 00:28:22,890
Oh my God.

492
00:28:23,070 --> 00:28:23,430
That's it.

493
00:28:23,490 --> 00:28:34,390
I said that when you, you think that your family is the only one that's messed up and then you get older and you realize, you realize, yeah, you realize everybody's is messed up.

494
00:28:34,530 --> 00:28:38,610
And then later on you realize you had the good messed up compared to everybody else.

495
00:28:38,610 --> 00:28:40,070
There's, there's a messed up.

496
00:28:40,110 --> 00:28:41,450
The flavor of messed up is everywhere.

497
00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:48,090
Everybody has a kind of a hint and some are a lot more, they cooked with a lot more crazy.

498
00:28:48,910 --> 00:28:52,570
And so I'm just enough, just enough to see it, but go, you know, I can live through that.

499
00:28:53,090 --> 00:28:53,990
It's a bit crazy.

500
00:28:54,150 --> 00:28:54,550
It's all right.

501
00:28:54,790 --> 00:28:57,030
But I'd like to dedicate this episode to my mother.

502
00:28:57,310 --> 00:28:57,790
I love you.

503
00:28:59,210 --> 00:29:02,230
And yeah, she, she always encouraged me.

504
00:29:03,050 --> 00:29:04,870
She was scared of me traveling, of course.

505
00:29:06,010 --> 00:29:10,830
And I said, mom, you know, being a, being a, you know, in my business, I have to travel.

506
00:29:11,550 --> 00:29:14,370
And she goes, okay, but you have to call me twice as much.

507
00:29:15,250 --> 00:29:20,690
So you have to call me when you leave, you have to call me in between and you have to call me when you get there.

508
00:29:20,790 --> 00:29:24,190
And then when you get back, the whole, you know, rinse and repeat.

509
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:27,510
That's what kept her kind of going like, okay, you got to do what you do.

510
00:29:27,630 --> 00:29:33,010
And, and I think she knew that this was what I do for a living was what I was meant to do.

511
00:29:33,070 --> 00:29:38,590
And she, and she, you know, she just wanted you to call more, she just wanted you to call more.

512
00:29:39,590 --> 00:29:46,250
And I always say that joke, my mother, my mother had this love for hotels.

513
00:29:46,810 --> 00:29:47,170
Really?

514
00:29:47,290 --> 00:29:48,070
She likes staying in hotels.

515
00:29:48,270 --> 00:29:50,430
Oh, she just loved the lobby.

516
00:29:50,570 --> 00:29:56,170
And then you get a room and you go in and, and I remember as a kid, not that we went on hotels.

517
00:29:56,270 --> 00:29:58,310
We didn't, we, I mean, come on, what hotel?

518
00:29:58,530 --> 00:30:00,550
She just, I don't know if it was for movies.

519
00:30:00,970 --> 00:30:04,150
And then a couple of times you do it at weddings or something, you know what I mean?

520
00:30:04,570 --> 00:30:10,730
But she had, and then we'd go away as we got older and, and we would go on vacation, uh, to the shore.

521
00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:11,390
She liked it.

522
00:30:11,410 --> 00:30:18,750
Oh, and it got me loving hotels and I, and, and until this day, I, you know how, how many hotels I live in.

523
00:30:18,870 --> 00:30:19,110
Yeah.

524
00:30:19,210 --> 00:30:24,070
Um, and I just think of her all the time when I walk into a hotel going, oh, my mom would love this one.

525
00:30:25,050 --> 00:30:29,710
So I'll be, uh, I'll be, I'll be thinking of her when I go to my, uh, my hotels.

526
00:30:29,870 --> 00:30:30,250
That's right.

527
00:30:30,450 --> 00:30:32,530
And she was setting you up for a life on the road.

528
00:30:32,670 --> 00:30:33,110
She loved it.

529
00:30:33,110 --> 00:30:33,970
She loved it so much.

530
00:30:34,490 --> 00:30:38,130
And, uh, we, every year we'd go to the shore and, and, uh, she'd get there.

531
00:30:38,590 --> 00:30:47,370
And within three minutes of us walking in that door first, she'd washed the whole hotel room by herself because she didn't trust anyone.

532
00:30:47,510 --> 00:30:59,970
She'd have the vacuum out, but she had all the clothes put away the kitchen in the kitchenette of this hotels would be set with food.

533
00:30:59,970 --> 00:31:14,090
It within, I swear to God, within the timeframe that we were able to go in the hotel, put the luggage in, go outside and set up like the, the pool area thing, we'd come back in, everything was put away.

534
00:31:14,190 --> 00:31:32,470
The food was in the refrigerator, it was, the coffee was being made and it's like, she had this beautiful, I don't know, this thing about like, she felt like she was, you know, like on vacation, you know, she, she, you know, from her watching the kids or, or being a mom, she was just, she was at her, her happy place.

535
00:31:32,610 --> 00:31:33,150
She had everybody.

536
00:31:33,310 --> 00:31:37,650
She had everybody there in one room and we would all stay in one, just one room.

537
00:31:37,750 --> 00:31:41,530
We would get like a suite and we'd wake up and, and, and she'd have the car.

538
00:31:41,970 --> 00:31:48,550
So every time I'm in these rooms, I think of her when she was alive, I would call and go, Oh, you'd love this hotel, mom.

539
00:31:48,950 --> 00:31:49,710
Oh my God.

540
00:31:49,710 --> 00:31:50,630
They had this, that, and the other.

541
00:31:50,670 --> 00:31:51,490
And she was like, Oh yeah.

542
00:31:51,830 --> 00:31:53,690
And I would take pictures and show her.

543
00:31:54,150 --> 00:31:59,410
So yeah, so I'll be, uh, she'll be traveling with me to these new hotels that we used to She'll be visiting.

544
00:31:59,870 --> 00:32:00,350
Love you mom.

545
00:32:10,980 --> 00:32:14,700
So next up we are going to have the final installment.

546
00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:24,700
The trilogy ends our next episode of the database and it is part three of the John Taylor interview.

547
00:32:25,340 --> 00:32:29,760
So enjoy the last segment of John Taylor.

548
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:31,840
Yeah.

549
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:35,860
The idea of wondering what the personality will be like.

550
00:32:35,860 --> 00:32:36,360
Yeah.

551
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:50,840
Cause it's, it's before the anxious times of junior high and when, you know, peer pressure hits and just awkwardness and the anxiety of childhood, which can also be there.

552
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,880
There's this, this perfect window with everything's awesome.

553
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:56,700
Right.

554
00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:58,400
So that's where you are right now.

555
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,460
You're in the awesome window.

556
00:32:59,560 --> 00:32:59,880
That's good.

557
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:00,580
That's very cool.

558
00:33:00,580 --> 00:33:13,700
It's going to make you, Oh, already for me, like just thinking about and talking about all this stuff and talking with Carlo, yeah, you start to come back to all this stuff from your childhood that you haven't thought about in a really long time.

559
00:33:14,020 --> 00:33:18,680
So I imagine with seeing Jacob at that stage, you must be doing that.

560
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:33,640
So that's when it forces you because they are going like a lot of times kids have tantrums and frustrations and you, you kind of step back and you're like, okay, this is at this time by their perception, this is the worst thing that's ever happened to them.

561
00:33:34,060 --> 00:33:46,340
You know, you try to see it from their perspective and, and if you're able to, you can sometimes see them going through something and you're like, I kind of remember that, right?

562
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:56,400
I remember what it was like to feel like nobody was listening to you or, you know, you had something to say, but you didn't necessarily know how to communicate it.

563
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:01,060
And so everyone's just yelling at you and not understanding.

564
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:01,840
All right.

565
00:34:02,020 --> 00:34:03,420
So that makes sense too.

566
00:34:03,760 --> 00:34:06,720
It's, it's an interesting thing trying to figure out.

567
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:24,840
That's the, one of the things that I, I think I rely upon very heavily in all of my relationships with adults is the ability to, to find the right words, to find the right, to, to understand and ask for clarification.

568
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:41,080
And even for adults, sometimes that can be challenging, but with a kid that just doesn't have that, the longer you try, if I try to, if my sentence goes on too long with my son, it's over.

569
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,199
I have to see as he's not listening anymore.

570
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:56,440
He is, he has moved on to something else or he's mad because in his head, like I think he doesn't necessarily understand that length of communication yet.

571
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,080
And because of that, it's frustrating.

572
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:03,940
And then he metabolizes it as like kind of a negative thing.

573
00:35:04,300 --> 00:35:08,660
You almost have to find a way to get your point across quicker with the child.

574
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:09,060
Yeah.

575
00:35:09,140 --> 00:35:09,960
Get it in there quick.

576
00:35:10,260 --> 00:35:26,600
Well, I think about that too, like with, with Kelly, a lot of times in the beginning, you know, as in any relationship, when you have conflict or you're trying to understand something better and I would, I would, I would over and over again, I'd be like, just say what's in your head.

577
00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:38,720
Just don't, because I could, cause she would be quiet when we would, and like she was, if it were me, it would be me trying to find the right thing to say.

578
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:44,100
And like, I would have just, just tell me, like, just tell me what are the words in your head right now?

579
00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:59,860
Because for me, and I don't know, I always thought everybody was like this and I don't know if you are or not, but I learned this through my, through my lovely wife that in my head, I think in words, it like there is a conversation happening in my head all the time.

580
00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:01,540
It is not pictures.

581
00:36:01,940 --> 00:36:05,180
It is, it is sounds and words.

582
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,500
That's how I think or numbers, right?

583
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:09,920
Like that's what's going on in my head.

584
00:36:10,620 --> 00:36:12,860
And that is completely not the case for her.

585
00:36:13,760 --> 00:36:16,260
She does not think so.

586
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:24,480
I'm auditorily focused, I think in language and I, and she thinks more visually, I guess.

587
00:36:24,660 --> 00:36:28,780
Um, yeah, my, my head is a cinematic movie all the time.

588
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:40,760
So it's so see, so for, so when she was struggling for how to express something for me, it's just like, I just have to decide to let out whatever's going on in my head.

589
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,540
I'm not, I'm not watching a movie or doing it.

590
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:53,000
So I wonder like interacting with a child, that would be a whole different layer of trying to figure out, like, do you have a sense for, for Jacob and how he thinks?

591
00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:53,520
Yeah.

592
00:36:53,580 --> 00:36:57,020
I mean, it's like everything else.

593
00:36:57,020 --> 00:36:58,600
It's going to be a lot of trial and error.

594
00:36:58,780 --> 00:37:04,480
You're going to learn when I say this, my child reacts very poorly.

595
00:37:07,020 --> 00:37:16,820
Um, but you sometimes are lucky enough to learn when I say this, my child reacts favorably.

596
00:37:17,060 --> 00:37:30,240
Um, and the sad wrinkle there is it changes, which is a lesson that Carlo taught me very early on.

597
00:37:30,240 --> 00:37:46,200
Um, year, honestly, it was years before I had my son, Carlo was kind of a sounding board because we did get to work together for a couple of years and, uh, he, he basically was like, it's all temporary.

598
00:37:46,400 --> 00:37:59,440
So whatever frustration you're going through, whatever, just impossible mountain you're trying to climb with this child, it is going, whatever it is, it will pass.

599
00:37:59,440 --> 00:38:07,160
He literally said just the other day, he said basically just that, like, whatever it is you think is never going to end is going to be over before you know it.

600
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:09,560
And there'll be the new thing that you think will never end.

601
00:38:09,920 --> 00:38:10,320
Yes.

602
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:19,980
Um, I, from a, from a sillier perspective, I, my, my son had so little interest in potty training.

603
00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:23,400
I thought I was going to be changing his diaper at his senior prom.

604
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:35,040
Um, and I, and, and anyone, anyone who tried to tell me differently, I'm like, they're like, oh, he'll, he'll do it when he's ready.

605
00:38:35,060 --> 00:38:37,180
I'm like, he'll never be right.

606
00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:42,360
Like they're like, oh, eventually, eventually he'll get sick of being in a dirty diaper.

607
00:38:42,440 --> 00:38:47,100
I'm like, my son has never met a dirty diaper.

608
00:38:47,260 --> 00:38:49,800
He hasn't been completely content in.

609
00:38:54,160 --> 00:39:13,300
I resisted every bit of wisdom people tried to give me because I'm like, he, he is perfectly content and then it happened and I just, I just never, I, it, cause it went on just long enough where I'm like, it's not, it's never going to happen.

610
00:39:14,380 --> 00:39:15,260
And it did.

611
00:39:15,260 --> 00:39:23,320
So, um, so you will have moments of doubt where you're like, I don't know, I don't know.

612
00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:28,860
I don't think this is going to pass or, or, or we're not going to get through this.

613
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:32,040
And then you do, but then it's, you know, it's the new thing.

614
00:39:32,080 --> 00:39:39,320
So the next thing, Carlo, definitely that was wisdom that has echoed back to me that I'm like, he was right.

615
00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,620
Cause I didn't, I didn't believe him.

616
00:39:42,140 --> 00:39:42,380
Right.

617
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:43,100
Yeah.

618
00:39:43,100 --> 00:39:54,560
In the middle, like, I think it's interesting that in the middle of whatever it is in your life, especially if it's something that's super challenging and you just think, cause you don't have no horizon, you don't have control.

619
00:39:54,700 --> 00:40:05,820
You know, we're so as adults, we're used to, you know, we're, we are, especially in this case, further removed from childhood, very removed from childhood.

620
00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:10,820
And so I'm almost removed from adulthood during old age.

621
00:40:11,140 --> 00:40:11,480
Right.

622
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:16,240
So it's really hard to see it from a kid's perspective again.

623
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:30,540
And in that way, I think I, you know, I, I talked, joked about this on one of the other episodes that, you know, that Kelly was talking about how she doesn't feel like she has a lot of experience being around children.

624
00:40:30,540 --> 00:40:33,660
And I'm like, you live with me.

625
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:37,260
I'm like, I never want you, I never want you make for dinner.

626
00:40:37,660 --> 00:40:41,420
You have to watch what I want to watch on TV and a lot of it's cartoons.

627
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,780
Like I just went down the list.

628
00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:44,360
I'm like, I am.

629
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:49,660
So in some ways I think, cause I am, I, I do, I feel, I don't know how you feel.

630
00:40:49,660 --> 00:40:55,840
Like, I feel like I kind of have the same things going on in my head that I did when I was 12.

631
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,000
Yeah.

632
00:40:57,040 --> 00:40:59,260
Like, I don't feel like I got a lot further than that.

633
00:40:59,540 --> 00:41:05,460
It's a very, I mean, it doesn't take a lot for me to revert to very childish behavior.

634
00:41:05,460 --> 00:41:07,380
We got to grow up.

635
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:22,900
I mean, honestly, what is, you know, star Wars came out in the slate seventies and really ever since the slate seventies to the eighties, you kind of don't have to let go of your hobbies anymore.

636
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:23,760
That's true.

637
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:33,320
And I mean, I could not be more different than my grandfathers just could not be more different in, in, at least in, in those aspects.

638
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:38,560
I, if, if they had hobbies, they, I couldn't tell you what they were, their hobbies were work.

639
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:38,920
Yeah.

640
00:41:39,780 --> 00:41:40,500
That's true.

641
00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:50,080
And so you are, you are allowed, we are as adults, we are a little bit more in touch with what, what it's like to be a kid.

642
00:41:50,100 --> 00:41:58,900
But at the same time, every expression I use, it doesn't matter what it is, but every time I always say something.

643
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:04,560
And what's kind of funny is my, my kid will just be like, he goes, huh?

644
00:42:05,140 --> 00:42:08,920
Because I'll just say something and I'll be like, Oh, it's an expression.

645
00:42:08,920 --> 00:42:11,720
And he goes from the, from the eighties.

646
00:42:14,660 --> 00:42:15,780
See, I already have that.

647
00:42:16,020 --> 00:42:22,020
I have that experience with Kelly all the time because she's 10 or 15 years younger.

648
00:42:22,640 --> 00:42:23,460
And yeah, I'll say something.

649
00:42:23,580 --> 00:42:24,180
She's like, what?

650
00:42:24,460 --> 00:42:24,900
Yeah.

651
00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:25,840
Okay.

652
00:42:25,840 --> 00:42:25,980
Okay.

653
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:26,640
You don't know.

654
00:42:27,340 --> 00:42:28,060
But interesting.

655
00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:40,840
So the unique thing I'm hoping as I continue to do these interviews and talk with different dads with different perspectives that, you know, I'll probably, hopefully eventually start to interview people I don't know as well as I know you.

656
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:48,360
But the unique advantage of having a conversation with someone like you is, you know, me better than a lot of people.

657
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:56,280
So what is your word of knowing me and what I'm facing, having been through it in the last decade?

658
00:42:56,960 --> 00:43:09,560
What is your, what is the thing that you think is the, is the, the, the one piece of wisdom that I need most sure as, as knowing me as well as you do?

659
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:20,320
Well, I will say I'll give two, the one list I'll start with a subsection a let's start.

660
00:43:20,780 --> 00:43:34,700
I think the two knowing you and I mean, you are so rigid in, you know, who you are, have, have patience and, and be adaptable to that.

661
00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:56,860
What I would call, I guess what I would say is like the way they did in, or used to do at least I think on live TV where they always, they build in like a, what is it like a one or two or three second pause the three second delay before there's like some kind of reaction.

662
00:43:58,060 --> 00:44:09,000
I think I would love to tell you, try to build that in because you, you are so consistent in who you are.

663
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:18,520
I would say just like pause your consistency for like just three seconds before you react.

664
00:44:18,520 --> 00:44:19,320
Okay.

665
00:44:19,480 --> 00:44:23,060
Um, I think that that's, that's an astute cause that's true.

666
00:44:23,540 --> 00:44:29,100
There isn't all the, there aren't very many times that I don't immediately have a reaction to whatever's happening.

667
00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:37,640
Just know and anyone who knows you knows that you are, you're just, you, you are very consistent.

668
00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,520
Build in the three second pause.

669
00:44:39,580 --> 00:44:40,740
So build in the three second pause.

670
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:57,520
That's a good one because it, in hindsight, you won't know it in the moment, but in hindsight you'd be like, I wish I could have, I wish I could have just not quite reacted as quickly because there are going to be very frustrating moments.

671
00:44:57,660 --> 00:44:59,240
So I would say that.

672
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:11,300
And the second thing is to the best of your ability, be in the best shape you can prior to the child coming along.

673
00:45:11,300 --> 00:45:18,540
I guess I didn't know this at the time, but I, I had gotten myself into the best shape of my life.

674
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:19,080
Right.

675
00:45:19,180 --> 00:45:36,900
I was in quite bad shape in much of my twenties, but then, you know, as many people do leading up to the marriage, which for me was in my kind of my early to mid thirties, I, you know, you start getting in better shape, you want to for the wedding.

676
00:45:37,080 --> 00:45:40,000
And I kind of kept that up for a good couple of years.

677
00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:43,240
And so, you know, leading up to the wedding, I was in good shape.

678
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:49,260
And then the couple of years past the wedding, I was in the best shape of my life.

679
00:45:49,300 --> 00:45:50,540
I felt better.

680
00:45:51,340 --> 00:45:55,560
I felt better approaching 40 than I did approaching 30.

681
00:45:58,220 --> 00:46:08,560
And I had no idea how important that would have been until I had it, excuse me, until I had a kid.

682
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:15,520
And you know, that can quickly go way downhill as it did.

683
00:46:15,740 --> 00:46:25,300
And I would imagine just the physical demands of, you know, it's just, it's everything is you have, you learn to find the pockets of time, right?

684
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:31,380
So the beautiful part about having a kid is how much it forces everything to slow down.

685
00:46:31,940 --> 00:46:37,040
You say yes to far, far, far less social engagements.

686
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,680
I already say no to everything.

687
00:46:39,620 --> 00:46:41,760
So I don't know how that's possible.

688
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:43,700
And it's kind of a built in excuse.

689
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:48,980
You just, you have way more quiet evenings because you need it.

690
00:46:49,120 --> 00:46:50,720
And in a way it's nice.

691
00:46:51,020 --> 00:46:51,160
Right.

692
00:46:51,300 --> 00:46:53,140
There's something there in the quiet.

693
00:46:53,880 --> 00:47:00,140
You don't realize how busy your life is until something like this is going to come along and slow you down.

694
00:47:00,420 --> 00:47:00,540
Right.

695
00:47:01,060 --> 00:47:01,240
Yeah.

696
00:47:01,300 --> 00:47:02,760
That makes sense.

697
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:02,860
Yeah.

698
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:03,620
The whole thing.

699
00:47:03,720 --> 00:47:08,540
One of the things we do on the, on the podcast is we're calling it the diaper diet.

700
00:47:08,860 --> 00:47:15,020
So I'm trying to lose as much as Kelly is gaining.

701
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:19,640
And I thought I was hoping in the last couple of weeks I was going to catch up, like I'm close.

702
00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:28,040
But she, I think now with her appetite is going to start moving up in a way that I'm not going to be able to keep up with it in the other direction.

703
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:30,600
Diminishing return there, but.

704
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:31,800
That's okay.

705
00:47:32,340 --> 00:47:32,760
It's okay.

706
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,060
It's worth a, it's worth a try.

707
00:47:34,340 --> 00:47:45,320
But yeah, no, I think that's one of the things from an age perspective, that is the first thing I thought about was the physical demands of just being down on the ground and playing with a kid and doing all those things.

708
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:59,140
Because you want to, you want to be able to, because it, it, you, I mean, you don't know it until it's happening, but it's going to be so important to you to be participating in what you can.

709
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:00,000
Whatever's happening.

710
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:01,440
Yeah, that makes sense.

711
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:09,660
So yeah, I would say try to, you know, keep on the treadmill, three second pause and get in shape fast.

712
00:48:09,660 --> 00:48:13,800
Cause it's going to go downhill immediately afterwards.

713
00:48:14,100 --> 00:48:15,300
Good advice.

714
00:48:15,460 --> 00:48:16,040
Good advice.

715
00:48:16,200 --> 00:48:17,920
Well, this was fun.

716
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:22,980
I appreciate you taking the time to do it and being our very first database entry.

717
00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:27,000
So John Taylor, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for having me.

718
00:48:28,220 --> 00:48:29,020
There is.

719
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:30,300
We're back.

720
00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,220
Our John Taylor.

721
00:48:31,700 --> 00:48:32,380
John Taylor.

722
00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:34,280
Thanks.

723
00:48:34,420 --> 00:48:36,980
Big thanks for being kind of the guinea pig.

724
00:48:37,420 --> 00:48:41,920
He's a three time, a three time visitor.

725
00:48:42,040 --> 00:48:42,400
That's right.

726
00:48:43,000 --> 00:48:44,100
A member.

727
00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:45,000
I don't even know what to say.

728
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:46,580
That's it.

729
00:48:46,660 --> 00:48:49,800
We've got lots of, lots of good feedback on part one and part two.

730
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:52,820
Hopefully you equally enjoy part three with John.

731
00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:54,320
Thanks very much.

732
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:54,880
He makes me laugh.

733
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:55,940
He makes me laugh.

734
00:48:55,940 --> 00:49:00,920
Even if he just last week we were talking about, somebody said he had that great voice.

735
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,500
You could just listen, just listen.

736
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,140
So thank you John for doing this.

737
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:06,780
Thanks very much.

738
00:49:07,420 --> 00:49:11,940
I'm not sure if we're going to have one guest for seven episodes in the future.

739
00:49:12,100 --> 00:49:12,420
Yeah.

740
00:49:13,000 --> 00:49:13,840
I've got to get back.

741
00:49:13,960 --> 00:49:14,940
It was the first time.

742
00:49:15,060 --> 00:49:15,800
We're going to figure it out.

743
00:49:16,080 --> 00:49:18,180
Maybe keep them to more like a 30 minute time.

744
00:49:18,520 --> 00:49:18,660
Yeah.

745
00:49:19,080 --> 00:49:20,180
We'll see what we can do.

746
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:21,120
It's going to evolve.

747
00:49:21,300 --> 00:49:21,960
But we love John.

748
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:23,100
We love John and thank you.

749
00:49:23,420 --> 00:49:24,600
And I hope you guys enjoyed that.

750
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:25,080
Yes.

751
00:49:25,620 --> 00:49:36,480
So that will bring us to what just happened and this week, not, not a big up.

752
00:49:36,560 --> 00:49:38,540
There's two kind of big updates.

753
00:49:38,660 --> 00:49:38,820
Okay.

754
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:45,060
I, as I often do, I will ask, I will ask Kelly, well, what, you know, what are the big things?

755
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:49,440
She's like, well, this week I said goodbye to my ankles.

756
00:49:51,860 --> 00:49:53,100
No, that's hilarious.

757
00:49:53,220 --> 00:49:53,860
I look at her.

758
00:49:53,860 --> 00:49:54,860
I saw her.

759
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:59,880
I look at her ankles and they look like ankles to me, but she's like, no, they're gone.

760
00:50:00,380 --> 00:50:04,320
I'll see them again, but she's funny.

761
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:05,040
She is.

762
00:50:05,100 --> 00:50:10,040
I think she has gotten, she has a good sense of humor, but I think she has gotten funnier.

763
00:50:10,420 --> 00:50:11,280
Her timing is great.

764
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:12,880
Her timing is getting better.

765
00:50:13,380 --> 00:50:15,660
It's like, I think she's learning how to hit.

766
00:50:15,740 --> 00:50:19,660
Well, you have a good sense of humor, so I'm hoping it's rubbing off a little bit.

767
00:50:19,840 --> 00:50:20,880
You have to.

768
00:50:21,040 --> 00:50:21,260
Yeah.

769
00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:25,860
She's, no, but she is, she's, so far, she's like, I said goodbye to my ankles.

770
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:26,960
That's hilarious.

771
00:50:27,280 --> 00:50:29,660
But yeah, so there's, there's that.

772
00:50:29,980 --> 00:50:31,900
But I think she looks adorable.

773
00:50:32,140 --> 00:50:40,940
But we were talking about in other episodes that these people, these women, these ladies, things are happening to their body and they're not used to it.

774
00:50:41,100 --> 00:50:46,080
So for what, when they see themselves, they're not seeing what we see.

775
00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:55,460
Well, and she's, and she's also, she's one of these people that she's always been like, it's not like, Oh, I could go anywhere from 185 to 290, right?

776
00:50:55,480 --> 00:51:00,940
Like she's, she's been in a narrow plus or minus five pounds her whole life.

777
00:51:01,300 --> 00:51:07,680
And when we see pictures of a kid, this is what I think is funny is you see pictures of my lovely wife as a child.

778
00:51:08,180 --> 00:51:20,040
I don't, from, I would, based on the pictures, and I know this isn't true, but based on the pictures, I don't think from like age three till like 11 was not fed.

779
00:51:20,540 --> 00:51:25,100
Like she is so really, she's so skinny.

780
00:51:25,340 --> 00:51:29,560
It's like they were talking to her and, and her sister, both just like, and they look alike.

781
00:51:29,700 --> 00:51:30,320
They have that body.

782
00:51:30,540 --> 00:51:32,960
They have the same kind of, yeah, they do resemble.

783
00:51:33,100 --> 00:51:37,740
That makes sense of what you've always said is she doesn't have the same relationship to food.

784
00:51:37,860 --> 00:51:38,760
Like we do.

785
00:51:39,060 --> 00:51:39,360
Yes.

786
00:51:39,420 --> 00:51:39,620
No.

787
00:51:39,620 --> 00:51:43,700
So that, I mean, it's probably never been a big thing.

788
00:51:44,220 --> 00:51:49,140
Like every time, every time we say something about our story, any story, there's food around.

789
00:51:49,780 --> 00:51:52,280
We're always like making, all right.

790
00:51:52,420 --> 00:51:58,960
So, and it's so funny because my, my cousins married their husbands and they did not grow up this way.

791
00:51:59,020 --> 00:52:04,720
And the funny joke is out of one of my cousins, husbands is every memory is around food.

792
00:52:05,580 --> 00:52:06,100
Absolutely.

793
00:52:06,340 --> 00:52:06,760
Absolutely.

794
00:52:07,180 --> 00:52:07,300
Yeah.

795
00:52:07,300 --> 00:52:10,880
So you forget that some people don't live that way.

796
00:52:11,240 --> 00:52:11,520
Yeah.

797
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:12,280
No, not at all.

798
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:17,960
So those pictures from three to 11 are skinny and that's, it'll be great.

799
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,040
Like I'll be thrilled if, if she's a fit little girl.

800
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,720
But I will also be like, have another cookie.

801
00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:29,460
If she's looks like if she's that skinny all the time, like daddy's going to have some Stella Dora.

802
00:52:29,740 --> 00:52:31,120
That's right here.

803
00:52:31,300 --> 00:52:32,100
Let me introduce you.

804
00:52:32,260 --> 00:52:33,160
That is, that is funny.

805
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:37,120
I never thought, and again, I, I didn't have a daughter.

806
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:38,320
I have two sons.

807
00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:45,680
I never really worried about like their weight, are they going to be heavy children or when I was, I never had a weight problem.

808
00:52:45,940 --> 00:52:48,980
I never, when I was growing up now, let's talk about that later.

809
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:53,780
But when growing up, that was not one of my problems, you know?

810
00:52:53,920 --> 00:53:08,440
So when I was having my, my sons, I've never really, but I know people that knew they were having daughters that have thoughts of, ah, let's, you know, you want to have a, you want to not know.

811
00:53:08,720 --> 00:53:11,460
Hopefully they're not because kids are tough, man.

812
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:12,460
Oh yeah.

813
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:13,120
Well, I would know.

814
00:53:13,220 --> 00:53:14,280
I was like, I was the fat kid.

815
00:53:14,340 --> 00:53:14,580
Right.

816
00:53:14,820 --> 00:53:16,560
So you don't want that in your own kids.

817
00:53:16,780 --> 00:53:20,700
So in your mind, you're like, please, you know, I'm not going to stop you.

818
00:53:20,740 --> 00:53:26,560
I'm going to feed, but I don't want my child to go through what I went through or, you know, ultimately you want them to be healthy.

819
00:53:26,620 --> 00:53:26,740
Yeah.

820
00:53:26,740 --> 00:53:32,900
I would look for her to not have, if I had to pick for her to have Kelly's relationship with food or mine.

821
00:53:33,100 --> 00:53:33,220
Exactly.

822
00:53:33,420 --> 00:53:34,020
That's what I'm saying.

823
00:53:34,220 --> 00:53:41,680
Cause you know, in schools, kids are tough and rough kids can be, and even if we're, I think girls are way meat.

824
00:53:41,740 --> 00:53:42,380
Like it might be.

825
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:42,620
Yeah.

826
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:43,440
Yeah.

827
00:53:43,820 --> 00:53:45,020
They're, they're way worse.

828
00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:46,300
We're going to get somebody.

829
00:53:46,460 --> 00:53:47,100
You were wrong.

830
00:53:47,460 --> 00:53:47,700
Yeah.

831
00:53:48,580 --> 00:54:02,900
There was no, but that's as a parent, I, these thoughts come in your mind going, I want my child to have a happy childhood and not be bullied and not be in as much as people say, we don't bully into school yet.

832
00:54:03,300 --> 00:54:03,980
Kids bully.

833
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:05,400
Right.

834
00:54:05,520 --> 00:54:06,440
It's children and children.

835
00:54:07,060 --> 00:54:07,880
And so that's it.

836
00:54:07,980 --> 00:54:10,260
That's that's I, but I never, I never thought of that.

837
00:54:10,380 --> 00:54:11,160
And I don't know why.

838
00:54:11,320 --> 00:54:14,020
I don't know because it's, they were boys.

839
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:16,420
I'm not trying to be like sexist or not.

840
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,560
And they like, don't just punch them in the face if they made fun of.

841
00:54:19,620 --> 00:54:19,980
I don't know.

842
00:54:19,980 --> 00:54:25,160
I don't know why I thought that way, but I'd never daughter to, uh, you didn't have to think about that.

843
00:54:25,280 --> 00:54:27,400
So you do think about it differently.

844
00:54:27,560 --> 00:54:27,880
Yeah.

845
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:32,320
But so, so there's, there's the say goodbye to her ankles.

846
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:44,880
There was that the other thing, and this kind of is, well, we didn't do an official, we're going to make it an official segment because it's coming up as part of what just happened.

847
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,480
But here is the, I was wrong.

848
00:54:47,500 --> 00:54:56,080
If you recall, uh, last, just last week I was saying how I think all of the, the gestational diabetes stuff is nonsense.

849
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:57,700
You did say that.

850
00:54:57,760 --> 00:54:58,140
I did.

851
00:54:58,500 --> 00:54:59,560
Oh, come on.

852
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:04,080
So Kelly had her followup appointment.

853
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:04,440
Right.

854
00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:09,800
And apparently the first thing now I did not go, I did not go to this appointment.

855
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:10,960
Now I wish I did.

856
00:55:11,020 --> 00:55:11,380
Sure.

857
00:55:11,380 --> 00:55:18,000
Because this was just supposed to be a quick check in blood, you know, to do the, you know, check her weight and all that stuff, normal stuff.

858
00:55:18,760 --> 00:55:25,340
But it was also the first visit since she started with taking the blood sugar measurements, the finger breaks.

859
00:55:25,460 --> 00:55:25,720
Yes.

860
00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:35,000
So she goes in, I think, and I wish I was there because I felt like I maybe would have, she wouldn't have taken it as hard as she did.

861
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:42,280
But the first thing was she did now, Kelly is a rule follower.

862
00:55:42,560 --> 00:55:56,420
So apparently there was a form that was mailed to us that she was supposed to be logging these blood sugar measurements onto so that then the doctor can very easily have it scanned into the computer.

863
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:05,840
So apparently the doctor was upset that she didn't do that, which in my mind, that's what I would have been like, Hey, we pay you.

864
00:56:05,980 --> 00:56:06,760
So shut up.

865
00:56:06,780 --> 00:56:08,800
I'm glad you want to take your time.

866
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:09,680
I'll write it in.

867
00:56:09,820 --> 00:56:10,220
We'll wait.

868
00:56:11,020 --> 00:56:11,840
But no.

869
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:23,620
So, so that I think maybe, so maybe things started off on the wrong note, but all along Kelly has been thinking the numbers that she's seeing are in a good range right now.

870
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:30,980
It's higher after she's eaten the resting, the fasting, the, the doctor today is like, Nope, these are all too high.

871
00:56:31,060 --> 00:56:31,320
They're too.

872
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:38,580
So apparently they're looking at their, the numbers they're looking for are even lower than what Kelly was expecting.

873
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:39,040
Gotcha.

874
00:56:39,160 --> 00:56:39,340
Right.

875
00:56:39,360 --> 00:56:40,640
So if it's a hundred, they're looking for 50.

876
00:56:40,720 --> 00:56:40,920
Right.

877
00:56:41,020 --> 00:56:41,800
I mean, these are just made up.

878
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:47,660
What they're looking at is also the differential between fasting and two hours after.

879
00:56:47,840 --> 00:56:50,700
So they want the numbers to be closer together and lower.

880
00:56:53,260 --> 00:57:01,980
So, so they, you know, kind of, they talked about that and they talked a little bit about what she should be trying to do to, to help the numbers.

881
00:57:02,660 --> 00:57:10,520
But again, as I said last week, Kelly was thinking the numbers were okay, so she was being a little bit looser.

882
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:12,120
She was eating a little bit more.

883
00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:13,420
So I feel bad.

884
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:21,380
I felt bad because she, Kelly desperately wants to do everything she can just the right way.

885
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:30,400
And she got a little upset when she was telling me about the visit because she feels like, like, first of all, she's not used to failing, right?

886
00:57:30,620 --> 00:57:32,020
She's a, she's a brilliant woman.

887
00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:39,580
She's, she's naturally great at stuff and she's usually whatever she wants to do, she can do it.

888
00:57:39,700 --> 00:57:40,780
So it's challenging.

889
00:57:40,860 --> 00:57:52,200
Like we've had these conversations about her work where her, her boss will just pile stuff onto her and she will do more and more and more and always has been able to.

890
00:57:52,200 --> 00:58:09,840
So when she reaches her breaking point, it's difficult for her to metabolize that because she's not used to ever, she's used to being able, she's one of those people who probably didn't, probably didn't have to study as hard to be as successful as she was because she's so bright.

891
00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:10,160
Gotcha.

892
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:16,900
And so, so it's, she, she has a hard time with not getting the results that she wanted before.

893
00:58:16,900 --> 00:58:29,460
Before I forget my, did they give her the numbers that she should be looking for before they sent her home to give her these false ideas of what numbers we're trying to look for?

894
00:58:29,620 --> 00:58:33,440
Because all they have to say is we need to be at 39 to 50, whatever it is.

895
00:58:33,700 --> 00:58:47,000
And then I think this would have been all, I think if they had, I think if they had, of course, I mean, but no, I, I, I can almost, I don't know for sure, but I can almost guarantee no, they didn't because she would be looking for that.

896
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:53,700
I mean, I would think in a, in a conversation, the doctor would say, we want numbers at this range.

897
00:58:53,700 --> 00:58:54,080
Right.

898
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:55,060
In the morning.

899
00:58:55,080 --> 00:58:57,000
Maybe they don't do that to not scare them.

900
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:57,900
In the morning you want to be around here in the afternoon.

901
00:58:57,960 --> 00:58:58,240
Right.

902
00:58:58,340 --> 00:58:59,260
You would think, no.

903
00:58:59,500 --> 00:59:00,780
So I don't know.

904
00:59:00,940 --> 00:59:01,760
I don't know where.

905
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:03,560
The communication there.

906
00:59:03,620 --> 00:59:09,000
Where that, how that broke down, but, but she was, I felt bad because she felt, she was a little upset.

907
00:59:09,520 --> 00:59:10,540
She feels guilty now.

908
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:10,960
Yeah.

909
00:59:11,480 --> 00:59:11,980
And I'm like, look.

910
00:59:11,980 --> 00:59:12,600
Which you shouldn't.

911
00:59:12,900 --> 00:59:23,500
Number one, you're doing, you're doing everything you can look, you know, we'll, we'll talk, we'll figure it out how to, you know, there's, there's different things that she can do.

912
00:59:23,540 --> 00:59:25,920
She needs to eat more often, right?

913
00:59:25,980 --> 00:59:31,580
She's going to have to have something to nibble on while she's at work in between, you know, breakfast and lunch.

914
00:59:31,640 --> 00:59:35,400
And I'm sure it's going to be fine, but it's hard.

915
00:59:35,400 --> 00:59:36,380
I feel bad.

916
00:59:36,640 --> 00:59:45,980
I felt really bad because she, she tries, she tries so hard to do everything at a very, very high level.

917
00:59:46,220 --> 00:59:46,320
Yeah.

918
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:55,440
And this, of course, more than anything else, she wants it all to go the right way and she wants to feel like she's doing everything she should be.

919
00:59:55,700 --> 00:59:55,820
Yeah.

920
00:59:55,920 --> 00:59:56,580
And she is.

921
00:59:56,820 --> 00:59:59,460
So I'm, I'm convinced it's going to be manageable.

922
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:04,020
I don't think they're saying now that like if the numbers don't get, she's got to go back now in a week.

923
01:00:04,020 --> 01:00:06,800
If the numbers don't get better, then she's going to have to do insulin.

924
01:00:07,460 --> 01:00:09,180
So that, but that was my next question.

925
01:00:09,380 --> 01:00:09,520
Yeah.

926
01:00:09,620 --> 01:00:10,520
What is the end game?

927
01:00:10,720 --> 01:00:12,280
If insulin is, that's it.

928
01:00:12,300 --> 01:00:17,380
So she'll have to go on insulin, which that wouldn't be the worst thing.

929
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:27,260
But honestly, I think now that she knows she's going to make a couple of tweaks, we're going to figure out how to have her set up to snack successfully at work and the numbers will be okay.

930
01:00:27,780 --> 01:00:47,780
I refuse to believe still, but again, this is an issue, Kelly, this is going to be something that you're going to go through and, and it's temporary and no, we all want to do, there's so much fear, especially when, like you said, you know, this podcast, I'm Frank, I'm 55 and I'm having my friend, it's scary and age has stuff to do with it, big stuff to do with it.

931
01:00:47,860 --> 01:00:48,020
Yeah.

932
01:00:48,140 --> 01:00:54,380
And we want to make sure, you know, and I know Kelly, she wants to make sure she's doing everything she can, but don't, don't hate yourself.

933
01:00:54,420 --> 01:00:55,500
Don't kill yourself over this.

934
01:00:55,540 --> 01:00:57,340
Don't, you know, don't beat yourself up.

935
01:00:57,860 --> 01:01:08,480
I said we were, when we were talking, I'm like, the biggest thing is right now, I think more important than any of this stuff is how she's feeling.

936
01:01:08,580 --> 01:01:08,780
Yeah.

937
01:01:08,840 --> 01:01:14,960
If she's feeling anxious and all that stuff, that translates to the baby, right?

938
01:01:14,960 --> 01:01:15,720
Be happy.

939
01:01:15,900 --> 01:01:17,740
We have this miracle that's happening.

940
01:01:18,320 --> 01:01:20,400
Things have gone very, very well.

941
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:23,920
We've been very lucky and it'll be, it'll be okay.

942
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:31,300
And I think she'll, you know, so I'm going to try, try hard to, you know, come up with some ways to, to help with that stuff.

943
01:01:31,300 --> 01:01:35,760
But yeah, so that was a little, a little bit disappointing, but again, very manageable.

944
01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:40,440
Even, even in the worst possible case, it's a very manageable thing.

945
01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:43,700
But I bet you anything I'm, I'm optimistic.

946
01:01:44,300 --> 01:01:45,320
She's going to make a couple.

947
01:01:45,400 --> 01:01:46,680
Do that mind thing you were talking about.

948
01:01:46,780 --> 01:01:50,580
Think of, gotta believe, gotta believe.

949
01:01:51,420 --> 01:01:52,920
It's a tough time.

950
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:53,240
Yeah.

951
01:01:53,780 --> 01:01:56,040
And then the baby comes and it gets tougher.

952
01:01:56,320 --> 01:01:56,880
That's right.

953
01:01:57,240 --> 01:01:57,680
That's right.

954
01:01:58,280 --> 01:01:58,800
That's it.

955
01:01:58,900 --> 01:02:08,720
That's the other thing too that I think is the way this year has gone, Thanksgiving being late and then all of a sudden, bam, it's Christmas, bam, it's New Year's.

956
01:02:09,220 --> 01:02:16,540
And then we've got, we've got a little, we're going to take a little bit of a vacation and we're going to do that in the next couple of weeks.

957
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:19,400
And then, and then it's, you know, it's coming.

958
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:24,140
And I think she's, she's wants to feel like everything.

959
01:02:24,280 --> 01:02:27,120
So that's the other thing that we're going to do is spend some time.

960
01:02:27,440 --> 01:02:32,320
I know in my, I have my vision of what should be done and when and what we should have.

961
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:41,980
And I need to understand what hers is to start checking things off that list so that she feels good and she feels good.

962
01:02:42,100 --> 01:02:49,140
Because if I'm thinking, Oh, we don't need X, Y, or Z until March and she thinks we should already have it.

963
01:02:49,140 --> 01:02:51,200
We need it now that I'm, I'm letting her down.

964
01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:57,720
Communication obviously in pregnancies because both partners are, they're my, I mean, we're everywhere, right?

965
01:02:57,720 --> 01:02:59,120
You're thinking of so many things.

966
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:07,220
I'm so, and that's one of the things that I recognize clearly, like I, we don't, we don't think the same way.

967
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:11,080
I'm much more, as much as I'm, I've fairly organized and I plan and all that.

968
01:03:11,460 --> 01:03:14,220
She's even more so like she needs that.

969
01:03:14,280 --> 01:03:16,480
She needs to feel like that stuff's all buttoned up.

970
01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:17,760
So I need to understand.

971
01:03:17,760 --> 01:03:19,080
We have our daddy brain.

972
01:03:19,220 --> 01:03:20,960
We can go back to what we talked about.

973
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:21,920
It's not me.

974
01:03:21,980 --> 01:03:22,640
It's my daddy brain.

975
01:03:22,760 --> 01:03:23,000
That's right.

976
01:03:23,020 --> 01:03:24,960
It is the dad brain.

977
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:25,680
Dad brain.

978
01:03:25,840 --> 01:03:25,960
That's right.

979
01:03:26,100 --> 01:03:26,440
So yeah.

980
01:03:26,540 --> 01:03:28,660
So it's going to come real quick.

981
01:03:28,900 --> 01:03:29,060
Yeah.

982
01:03:29,220 --> 01:03:33,880
You just going, it made, it's making it quicker too, because we're doing this podcast.

983
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:36,000
So we're always like, you know what I mean?

984
01:03:36,000 --> 01:03:37,740
Like week one, week two, week three, week four.

985
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:44,640
So that kind of sped it up even though time doesn't speed up at the same time, but it seemed a lot quicker.

986
01:03:44,760 --> 01:03:45,820
Like, Oh my.

987
01:03:45,820 --> 01:03:50,480
Once the new year hits, it's now the new year that we're in March is going to be right.

988
01:03:50,600 --> 01:03:52,220
I mean, it's, yeah, it's coming fast.

989
01:03:52,360 --> 01:03:53,060
It is.

990
01:03:53,260 --> 01:03:53,640
It is.

991
01:03:53,740 --> 01:03:54,660
But that's okay.

992
01:03:54,760 --> 01:03:55,100
That's all.

993
01:03:55,280 --> 01:03:55,960
That was the whole goal.

994
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,300
We've been wanting that to happen for a long time.

995
01:03:58,300 --> 01:04:02,180
Then the next chapter of this life that we're in begins.

996
01:04:02,340 --> 01:04:02,540
Yeah.

997
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:03,040
Yeah.

998
01:04:03,300 --> 01:04:03,860
That's it.

999
01:04:03,940 --> 01:04:10,780
So, so that, that is basically, that was kind of a mashup of, of what just happened and I was wrong.

1000
01:04:11,940 --> 01:04:14,160
But that is, that is where we are.

1001
01:04:14,560 --> 01:04:15,180
You get a double.

1002
01:04:15,180 --> 01:04:16,080
A double dose.

1003
01:04:16,220 --> 01:04:19,320
I'll have to make a new graphic for that.

1004
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:21,840
What just went wrong?

1005
01:04:23,760 --> 01:04:39,860
So anyhow, once again, I appreciate you guys sticking with us and it's been fun, but we're going to figure out with our, with our travel that's coming up, we're going to have to figure out maybe we'll get to do one of these where you and I aren't together.

1006
01:04:40,220 --> 01:04:41,340
That might happen.

1007
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:43,060
Will it be a split screen?

1008
01:04:44,180 --> 01:04:44,940
Who knows?

1009
01:04:45,220 --> 01:04:46,080
We'll figure it out.

1010
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:46,760
The excitement continues.

1011
01:04:47,140 --> 01:04:53,280
You know that we will not, no matter what happens, we won't deny you the joy of these updates.

1012
01:04:53,280 --> 01:04:53,840
Of an episode.

1013
01:04:54,080 --> 01:04:54,900
Of an episode.

1014
01:04:55,480 --> 01:04:57,620
I would, I would be remiss if I allowed that to happen.

1015
01:04:57,620 --> 01:05:05,440
Do we, do we still have a, we have, we have, yeah, we, we, in between these episodes we were talking because we're, we're doing this for the first time.

1016
01:05:05,520 --> 01:05:09,260
We have no idea where this is going to go, the format.

1017
01:05:09,800 --> 01:05:15,620
We also have like bonus shows that we can throw in there once in a while.

1018
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,400
I don't know if we, which are not episodes, you know what I mean?

1019
01:05:18,460 --> 01:05:18,580
Yeah.

1020
01:05:18,640 --> 01:05:26,360
We've got a short of that where we talk about faith that I, I, I've got together and we, we might put that out soon.

1021
01:05:26,620 --> 01:05:40,620
And other things, what we might want to get into that are not actually episodes, it might be things that, you know, about ourselves or just a, just a conversation that, that might get us started in an episode that we can really expand on.

1022
01:05:40,780 --> 01:05:41,020
Yeah.

1023
01:05:41,500 --> 01:05:42,920
We veer off on tangents.

1024
01:05:43,100 --> 01:05:43,660
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1025
01:05:43,700 --> 01:05:43,820
Sometimes.

1026
01:05:44,140 --> 01:05:45,400
Yeah, that would be, it would be.

1027
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:45,660
So that's a fun part.

1028
01:05:45,660 --> 01:05:46,640
I thought it was a lot.

1029
01:05:46,780 --> 01:05:58,800
I think about, there are a lot of things I see like news stories and things that make me think, that I think about, I think a little differently now from a, the context of being a parent.

1030
01:05:58,820 --> 01:05:59,060
Sure.

1031
01:05:59,420 --> 01:06:04,540
But that, that are more like some stuff that's more political or things like that, that would be fun to talk about.

1032
01:06:04,580 --> 01:06:04,860
Yeah, yeah.

1033
01:06:04,860 --> 01:06:14,600
So, so that's, that's something that Frank and I have talked about, like, well, you know, we, we, we do have other interests, but they all kind of go in this parenting.

1034
01:06:14,960 --> 01:06:15,300
They do.

1035
01:06:15,460 --> 01:06:25,420
I know there will be, I was thinking about one of the things, thinking about catching up and making sure we're ready that the, we could be, we could have a whole DIY series on what I'm going to do with that.

1036
01:06:25,720 --> 01:06:34,060
I've got some, I did come up with some great ideas of how to do the nursery and how to do the stuff, what we're going to do on the walls.

1037
01:06:34,060 --> 01:06:36,500
That could be a fun YouTube series.

1038
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:37,080
Yes.

1039
01:06:37,100 --> 01:06:38,100
Frank falling through the ceiling.

1040
01:06:38,100 --> 01:06:39,180
That could be, that could be a fun.

1041
01:06:39,320 --> 01:06:40,440
Frank electrocuting himself.

1042
01:06:41,620 --> 01:06:43,000
Frank has to move from the house.

1043
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:43,260
Is that breaker on?

1044
01:06:43,700 --> 01:06:44,040
Yeah.

1045
01:06:44,900 --> 01:06:47,180
Frank's looking for, Frank and Kelly are looking for a new home.

1046
01:06:47,380 --> 01:06:48,280
It causes a fire.

1047
01:06:48,640 --> 01:07:00,240
But that could be like, so in our minds, 2025, we want to really build this bigger than what we're doing and, and, and branch, a couple of branches coming off of this podcast.

1048
01:07:01,060 --> 01:07:02,080
We could have spinoffs.

1049
01:07:03,740 --> 01:07:07,600
So, uh, we want to thank you guys obviously for sticking with us.

1050
01:07:07,960 --> 01:07:25,500
And I know Frank, you're, you're, you put a lot of time into this and I'm, I'm glad we started it and I can't wait to see what this becomes because right now I'm still like from the first time we thought about it, I was in the car and you called me up and I was like, what are we going to do?

1051
01:07:25,520 --> 01:07:27,020
And I thought it was such a great idea.

1052
01:07:27,120 --> 01:07:30,780
And then to see where we've come and where it's going to go from here.

1053
01:07:30,780 --> 01:07:31,580
It's, I'm so excited.

1054
01:07:32,400 --> 01:07:32,960
It is.

1055
01:07:33,020 --> 01:07:43,440
It has been a lot of fun and, and yeah, now kind of getting organized and figuring out, you know, kind of having a little bit more clear workflow it's, it's allowed.

1056
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,420
I want to be able to focus more on that.

1057
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:47,200
So like, what are the different fun things we want to do?

1058
01:07:47,200 --> 01:07:50,380
Because for a while there, it was just, how do I get this done by Tuesday?

1059
01:07:51,220 --> 01:07:52,720
So we're, we're getting there.

1060
01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:58,820
And also the podcast is going to change because we're going to have the baby here.

1061
01:08:00,260 --> 01:08:05,020
So that's obviously going to change a lot of our discussions and that's going to be interesting.

1062
01:08:05,120 --> 01:08:06,080
I can't wait to have that.

1063
01:08:06,500 --> 01:08:06,640
Yeah.

1064
01:08:06,840 --> 01:08:11,560
That those episodes of, of when the baby's, yes, this is what's happening.

1065
01:08:11,640 --> 01:08:12,360
I won't have to ask Kelly.

1066
01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:14,500
Hey, what should I, what should we talk about?

1067
01:08:14,640 --> 01:08:15,060
No, no, no.

1068
01:08:15,120 --> 01:08:15,439
Exactly.

1069
01:08:15,680 --> 01:08:17,760
So that's going to change the podcast.

1070
01:08:18,580 --> 01:08:20,779
There'll be the sound of crying in the background.

1071
01:08:21,120 --> 01:08:21,859
It's going to be awesome.

1072
01:08:21,979 --> 01:08:22,660
We'll be holding the baby.

1073
01:08:23,819 --> 01:08:24,060
Please.

1074
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:24,660
So I can't wait.

1075
01:08:24,800 --> 01:08:26,300
It's going to be fun to see where this goes.

1076
01:08:26,420 --> 01:08:27,020
It will be fun.

1077
01:08:27,580 --> 01:08:27,960
All right.

1078
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:28,859
Thanks again.

1079
01:08:28,960 --> 01:08:31,200
And we will see you next time.

1080
01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:42,300
Well, folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books.

1081
01:08:42,819 --> 01:08:45,240
Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us.

1082
01:08:45,500 --> 01:08:46,439
We hope it was fun.

1083
01:08:46,939 --> 01:08:51,420
If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness, be sure to subscribe to the podcast.

1084
01:08:51,560 --> 01:09:15,040
So you don't miss any of our future adventures and while you're at it, give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, carrier pigeon, whatever you crazy kids are using, have any hilarious parenting stories of your own questions about navigating fatherhood later in life, or even when normal people do it, email us at g h d c.podcast at gmail.com.

1085
01:09:15,140 --> 01:09:16,260
We'd love to hear from you.

1086
01:09:16,720 --> 01:09:18,800
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed.