Bottle Warmers, Lactation Consultants and 11 Things About Being A Dad : Episode 24

0:00 Don't miss any of the fun subscribe on YouTube and follow us on Facebook Instagram and tick-tock Very good Give us another one pretend like Pretend like you're you're trying to be sexy. Hey Hey girl I will do the sexy one Give it to the special look Don't miss any of the fun Hey girl Hey, baby To the buzzer to the popular view version.

0:48 I love baby. I love the baby follow us on the YouTube Talk it tiki-taki and the Instagram I Hey, you don't want to miss all the fun We got some outtakes that's good This is the gray hair and daycare podcast with a combined age of 111 years And I combined IQ right in that same range your hosts Frank Syrio and Carlo Russo Welcome back.

1:36 Here. We are Once again, it's lovely Desilu studios More I've also noticed my basement. It's a very nice Yeah, it's very well it's done its job Yes, certainly so far, but welcome back or happy to be here for episode 24 To two and four it feels like spring finally. I know the last couple of days. I was weird because I traveled a little bit and we'll talk more about it for I but I went to Texas and I just came up like came out of the airport. It was a kind of an early morning And I'm like, wow, that's like cuz it's summer It was yeah, it's like like almost 80 sunny and it was just beautiful Like when you walk into like off of the plane in Florida, yeah when you leave here like Christmas time or whatever Yeah, it's you forget that.

2:29 Oh, yeah, I'm gonna be hit by heat. Yeah or Sun. Yeah something that's not that first moment Yeah, I was like, oh This is nice because it's been we've had some sunny weather here, but it's still chilly I was talking to someone today and I was at the bank and we're talking about the weather because that's all we do in Syracuse Because it changes every five minutes. It does and I said, oh my god, it's beautiful out, you know, but With me it's like once it gets like this you get to look outside and go. Oh god, I gotta cut the lawn Oh god, that bush has to be trimmed Oh, I gotta open the pool all the deck has to be and I'm like, can it just snow for maybe one more day? That was it yesterday. I went I know I didn't do all the maintenance on the mower last year Do I still have all the stuff?

3:11 So I went and found I got my oil filter and my law Okay, because it comes all at once and then you look at your yard like oh god I need to cut the lawn And nothing's painted and nothing. Oh, yeah, there's a lot. Yeah, there's a lot. But anyway, so here we are Yeah, there's always I am Frank cereal. I am 55 years old, but my daughter is Seven weeks old almost two months Yeah, it just it's crazy seven weeks how quickly it just just absolutely Flies by it said what you were just talking about to Will take walks so we got the little stroller.

3:51 We'll take the take the baby. We'll go up and down the driveway and For those of you who don't know we're far away It's not like we're walking up and down a 30-foot driveway when people when people hear this and go I was walking up and down The driveway they don't imagine your seven laps is a mile. Yeah, so seven times up and down is a mile. So it Is so but I'm walking by the Christmas trees that I have lit So I and all I've been able to do while we're on these I'll go like grab one extension So I've cleaned up like the extension cords, but the lights are still on the trees I got to take all that stuff down yet, but it's okay just to keep them on It would look weird plus two I can just picture I would mow right up close to them I Eat them so I don't want to do that.

4:39 Yeah, seven weeks. Yes, and we were talking about Before how changes happen every day. Yes, just the idea of seven weeks ago What you were looking at as a baby is now so much different. Yeah, and now you're talking about smilings and laughings Yeah, touch of that stuff little noises. I think her first word is gonna be hi Because every once in a while there'll be a noise like that it'll sound like that's what she's saying, but I'm Jerry Lewis Yeah, it's it's it's fun every little Little new thing and new sound and it's great. But yeah, it changes incredibly incredibly fast Yeah, so but anyway, we have we have lots of things to talk about.

5:24 It's been a couple weeks. Yeah, I apologize Unreservedly for my inconsistent release schedule. I promise I'll get better but it is even for somebody who's It's it is getting everything done and keeping things up with the added element of what's going on with baby Well, and then it puts everything in perspective. I mean when you don't have the child Broadcasting might be a little bit more higher on the list. Yes, right Yeah, now it's like do I want it right is it is it maybe number five number six number seven? This is interfering with tummy time, right? To be staring at a baby.

6:04 I should be saying But it will get back to normal, yeah Like we've had holidays happen. Yeah, there's a lot going on Thank you for sticking around and coming back every every week to see if we have a new episode. That's right And we'll get back on that. That's right. We will we will so what we're going to do. We'll start with today Is one of our favorite segments this one a little bit less? Demanding of you we're gonna have our next installment of crash test daddy For crashes daddy the reason I wanted to do this one is because one of the new things so Kelly is breastfeeding Yep, and things have gone as with all these things with a new baby that has its challenges, but that's gone really well So we haven't had to use any formula Really and we're just now starting we talked to a lactation consultant who works at the pediatric office that we go to And she's super helpful.

7:08 Very nice woman, and she suggested she's like look the last time we saw her She says look, I just talked to two mothers They called me on Thursday and said I'm going back to work Monday And I can't get the baby to take a bottle and they're you know, they're like, what do I do? So she's like start now like we've got a longer runway Kelly won't be starting back until like end of June So we've got time, but she's like start now one bottle a day start making alien Yeah, one bottle a day have me give one bottle a day. So and we've only done it a couple times But one of the things that I have learned about is and I wondered what the process was because I in my head We talked about giving a baby a bottle I just remember from TV or movies There was always some kind of like double boiler involved and they're always Yeah, you're straight 30 of them.

8:04 They're sleepy and they're confused. Yeah, it's dark and they're Stuff on their arm and burning themselves. What was it? Like? Did you do Bob exactly that it was exactly that I thought scars We we had we had obviously my wife was a breastfeeding as well And then when we switched over to the bottles we did the same thing now I could get involved Yeah, and then we had the the bottle warmers Yeah, so I don't I don't think we ever had to boil water put it in Okay, we from I believe I could be wrong But I might be I do remember us having a gadget. Okay a warmer Okay, a bottle warmer that made it a lot easier, but still you worried about the heat you had to do the temperature Absolutely because it wasn't you know, it wasn't The best thing it's like but you didn't have to boil water, right?

8:57 Right, we didn't have to put in a stove I remember if we did we did it a couple of times right until we got that product So yeah, so so that that's why this thing has become because there is a sense of urgency Obviously, I want to get right and you want to you want to get it done, right? And you can't use the the bathwater ducky in the formula or in the breast milk I'd be tough. So so this thing what I wanted to talk about is you can hold it up for the for the audience This is the mom cozy Bottle warmer fast bottle warmer for all bottles with timer and accurate temperature control. So this thing is awesome So there's a million different bottles, too So all you got to do You fill that little copy 40 milliliters of water this right here right up to the line.

9:46 Yep, you pour it in there more like that Bottle goes in top goes on Bottle. Yeah. Oh, no. No that stays out. Okay, but the bottle goes out of the bottle and that goes right on the top That's it you plug it in you tell it what kind of bottle whether it is glass or plastic or something else bourbon And there's a couple there's a button on the front and then it lights up like you can't you only all you see is the power button on it on one side Oh, no, you don't until you plug it in the power the power ball lights up. Sorry It's yeah that whole front under mom cozy lights up with different things and you touch right on it's very very high-tech But you tell it it wants all it needs to know is what kind of bottle glass plastic or whatever whether the milk is warm refresh or Refrigerated cold so cold or warm and great and how many ounces are in the bottle?

10:47 And it just goes and when it's ready it stopped and you don't it is perfect every time You don't have to test anything. It's just ready to go when it's done You still test it. All right, I'd still do but well the first time but now I honestly like I'm only doing a couple Perfect Perfect This was not around and it has a countdown. It has a countdown timer. It is awesome. And it's not like it was regularly 59 bucks, but they're on Amazon right now for $39.99 I said it's mom cozy bottle warmer. It's 4.1 out of 5 stars 2,000 reviews 39 bucks works like a champ and so that's great super easy Because there's so many because there are a million different we've only had I've tried two different bottles now Uh-huh, and the bottles are and we'll talk more about that that whole experience But yeah Once you know like a plastic bottle how much is in it boom and you just hit this does a countdown timer being it's done And this retails for how much you 40 bucks $40 you get 40 bucks on Amazon.

11:53 It's normally 60 Okay But every time I've looked when getting ready for the for the for this episode $39.99 on Amazon. Yeah, I mean a little thing like this is going to be such a life I mean changing. Oh my god, you have to worry about burning the baby. Yes, I do remember we still we had gadgets But it wasn't this high-tech. I'm sure you just plug it in Right and sometimes you gotta check it. Yeah. Yeah. No this thing literally counts down So it'll say how many minutes it's gonna be Counts down and then it counts down the seconds to the lap to the for the last minute and it ready to go. Perfect It's a no-brainer It makes it just make especially because when you're doing it because and I'm doing it, you know If I've got the baby and you're tired if I'm gonna do it then Kelly is pumping while I do the bottle So, you know, I'm flying solo.

12:49 It makes it super easy. No, this was the first How was it the first bottle you gave the baby you you've got to share what Kelly's been doing it's it's interesting It's funny because we go to the lactation consultant and I and I'm talking to her But we'll talk more about when we get into what as we get through what just happened about how that all has gone But it is a bonding, right? Yes. Yes without a doubt. It was I was look I was honestly looking forward to it Yeah, and I'm looking forward to getting better at it Well just you know, there's all lots of all little things the one bottle she liked another but we tried a different bottle didn't like that Well different nipple. Oh, right.

13:30 So it's a one another one of those things like with the stroller slash car seat She if she likes one brand of binky then that brand of bottle The nipples are similar and and then she liked it. So yeah, but we'll talk we'll talk about that So that is that is it for this installment of crash test daddy the mom cozy bottle warmer again Fantastic product easy to use saves time. Very nice. I like it. So Well, here we are. Yes, we are and we're gonna go through into our what we always do what just happened Just happen right Lots of things.

14:13 Okay, but before we do sure what just that but I do so I spend a lot of time. I Guess I'm on social media. I don't really anymore But a while ago very confidently then you just I guess I used to but I don't but I saved the link So back before the baby, I found this thing. Actually. No, I think I did actually find us since the baby But it was on So on Twitter or now X There was a post I follow a bunch of different fatherhood and dad stuff Why wouldn't you and there was a post from someone that's called foundation father Foundation father. Yeah, and I thought it was really good.

14:54 It was very it was it was 11 things about being a dad sounds like a sitcom and 11 things about being a dad and I thought they were so good that I wanted to go through Kind of one by one and talk about them with an experiment an experienced dad go for so the first one was You will let your children down every day Hopefully not every day, but what do you think about that? You let your children down. You will let your children down What are your thoughts on that? I? Guess as much as you think you're doing good and supporting and Allowing your kids to grow you never know what they're thinking, right?

15:42 You know what it is. I always think well my dad didn't do this. I'm doing it. So I'm better Yeah, so but my kids don't know how my dad was right? So they're just kidding me the other day the other day and I just kind of hit me My son I was I was yelling about the cat the door And he was trying to plug something and I was just like yelling Laying there yelling and he goes. It's all you do is just yell and I'm like, oh Yeah, so this is letting my children down and I'm like I thought about like, yeah, I guess I used to hate my dad doing Yeah, and I thought I would be better and I guess I hope he doesn't think that's all I do is yell Yeah, but yeah, I guess I think I think it's interesting.

16:29 You know what going through it, I think What they and then each one of these I'm summarizing each one had a little blurb what this one they talked about I think it is a great point the idea that no matter how hard you try something's gonna happen and to To let it be an example to just say I'm sorry Try to do better like to own it so that they see that that's what you do Right. Everybody's gonna screw up at everything become a learning moment. Exactly How I took care of it, I want you to do the same when I screw up I had recognized it I admit it. I own it. I try to do better and that and that's so it becomes a teachable Even if you did fall short, it becomes a teachable moment for the kid.

17:14 So I thought that one was really cool the next one Number two your words are more powerful than you realize. Yeah I mean, you gotta watch out what you're saying. Yeah, not just the swear words Not just where we're just just little things like I mean, I hate saying the word you don't want to use Oh my god, don't be so stupid Why do you always do that? Why do you always you know, what can't you be like this person? Why can't yeah everything we say is Powerful. We are the the most important people. I mean, there's a stretch of time Other all they know is their daddy and their mommy and that there's no one more powerful and smart and Experienced than them, you know the mom and dad and everything every word we say holds so much weight That's why in in in good ways either, you know, you can be like, oh my god, you're the best person ever You're never that's not good either.

18:10 Yeah, because you have to you know, you can create a you can create a Yeah, so words are very heavy when you throw them up I think that's that's the thing right like I know it is that for me when I think about Your our voice becomes the voice in their head, right? Like I I talk about this stuff with Kelly all the time Kelly and and how her her mom and and she interact That's there right is there. I know that's that's the way it is with with my him with my dad I hear his voice in my head Absolutely, and it's gotten us out of a lot of trouble because it's good bad Yeah, and then it's also created some problems because we didn't hear those or didn't want to we heard stuff We shouldn't have and we didn't hear the stuff we should have right?

18:59 So but I like your words are more powerful how you speak to them is how they will talk to themselves So that that's a great one. Number three Being a father is more amazing than you can possibly imagine And I think that we talked about that. Yeah, did you think before and how it really is? It's so much better Yeah, it is inexplicable there's no way to talk about it the weather the the thing that they used in this little blurb was a Kid is a joy faucet that you can turn on whenever you want. It's just like on demand love and Happiness and laughter it is it's incredible.

19:40 My son is 24 years old one of my sons and he's still a faucet Oh, yeah, I love we he's he's on vacation now with his girlfriend at a wedding and it's so cool to have a kid That's already old enough to dad. Can I come over and pick up the suit? He you know, he wears the suit and I have like a lot of suits So he doesn't have to worry about it. He just comes in and we have the same kind of size So it's it's so it's so nice and we're watching the Football draft and all that going back and forth and we're making jokes and he's showing me pictures of the place he stayed It's just it's amazing. It's it's it's the best the best job You're honored to be somebody's father and you have to take that so serious.

20:27 Yeah, he is that way though? Yeah, you run it I run into Natalia all the time and he just has this infectious Smile laughter. He is as a person not just as a child. He is a joy Yes, he's he's a lot of fun and you could always see the kid. Yeah, there's always a kid in them Yeah, oh my god with the whiskers. Yeah, even with the whiskers where my my youngest yes He's very serious like Nick's very down dick. No, let's I gotta work. I gotta do this. We got to do that I mean he loves having his fun, but Natalia has a little more a little more solid in like his thought like yeah, I'm gonna do this.

21:09 I'm gonna do that I need a car by 16. I'm gonna work at 15. I'm gonna do that. Yeah I watch this great. I look at these kids and they're like, they're so good-hearted and yeah is Being a father is amazing. I mean you're gonna and you're gonna have all that I've never been a father to a daughter though. So it's Totally something it's something yeah, there's this weird. There's this not weird. It's just this wonderful Romance is the only word that you can put to her. It is literally just like your little girl She looks at you and you just melt. It's crazy Yeah, so that one number three being a father is more amazing. That's a great one This one I thought was interesting number four was Write it down cuz you're gonna forget it That things go so much Just that the time goes by and you're gonna if you don't document Yeah, all these little things now for us for me.

22:09 This is a great business I start watching like, you know the new vehicle I've been and I'm learning how to use the Entertainment system in the truck and and I'm so I'm like beautiful Thank you And I listen to the old podcast and I'm like, oh, yeah like art and this was just a few months ago But I'm like, oh, yeah, that was you know, it was you know, the just the kind of the pregnancy journey stuff Yeah, so yeah, I'm glad that that we're doing this for that reason because it's true right before this I always talked to Kelly I'm like, what should we talk? You know what happened in the last couple weeks and we're like, oh, yeah, and and and this and that yeah Yeah, I just keep there's always well, I think it I don't know if I said this in the previous podcast episode I remember we my wife and I started a video From the day that I came home and she had the pregnancy test We started the video on that on the test.

23:09 That's awesome Stomach and yeah all that so we have it now, of course Video has gone away, and I'm probably gonna have to somehow Transform that into computer which I can yeah, but I but yeah, it's it's kind of like this write it down And I love I love going back and looking at that. It's weird because we were just talking about that We don't take a lot of videos One Like we're just taking I'm constantly taking pictures. Sure. But yeah, I sent a video My sister Lucille in Texas. It was her birthday yesterday So I did a video with the baby of let's say happy birthday and she's making her little noises But yeah, I hardly ever take videos.

23:55 I mean, I want to do a better job of that. Is it because now I'm Could throw this out there before we get that look literally have to get the camcorder pick it up It was a big deal now. It's like a phone and like oh, I don't know. I don't know what I mean I just don't think I just don't think I always think I gotta take a picture of this I I think I just need to train myself to take the opportunity to do some videos I'm sure once she starts doing more interesting stuff where you want to hear it, but yeah That was the first time anybody had ever heard, you know, she had heard, you know, because she's seen some pictures But that's huge. Yeah, she's like oh Now it's weird too because you said they have the video capability of watching her when she's yes, but They can't hear.

24:37 Yeah, they can't hear now that they finally. Oh, yeah, you create a wife finally fixed it Yes, but yeah, so write it down. You'll forget it number five was your wife is still more important This is very important. And and that was that that's the one that and it's true But also it's very easy, especially when you're in the beginning and what we've been going through In divide-and-conquer mode. It's very easy to feel like ships that pass in the night, right? It's just your sheen. Yeah, this human alive. Yeah, and you put everything else in the back like don't worry about emotions feelings Yeah, I love you, babe Taking the opportunity to just but yeah, just even if it's just a little bit in the morning We had a few minutes every morning we will have staring at the baby together Yeah, and we're just having breakfast doing something trying to make that make it more than just you know Yeah, that we're just you're constantly kind of trying to get things done But I think that also falls into what kind of relationship do you have?

25:42 Yes for that. Yeah Yeah, yeah, and we talk like a lot We talk a lot a typical day for us, you know, we would get up early when Kelly would go to work I would literally call her and talk to her for the 20 minutes on the way there talk to her on the 20-minute drive home We really do. It's one of the things I love about because I can talk to her about Anything anything and she's a good she's a good conversation. Yeah, she is. She's a good conversation But how was your relationship before? Yeah, what did you build before right and even if it falls a little bit? You know, it's there. Yeah, so it's gonna be it's gonna be very easy to be like, I don't feel like that, you know No, this is what we are and it's gonna get back to that and right now we have to work together Yeah but again like you said that one couple times you just lay there for a little bit before or when you're having breakfast you talk and And then like you have to continue Dating your spouse.

26:43 Yeah, you know eventually you will be able to do that again The babysitter and then going out to dinner you still need that. Oh, yeah without a doubt Again, here we are over seven weeks and weeks. I still have not been able to buy my wife Flowers because I had more we had more visitors come and they brought flowers. I'm like look like just I Think this week I'm gonna be able to because they're they're starting to okay The last of them are starting so don't bring any flowers. But anyway, so your wife is still more important She absolutely is number six, you've been wasting so much time And I do think this is true And the point they were making their little blurb about this was you were have to be so on purpose With a baby that you become way more productive Their estimate is like you will become 25 to 100% more productive and I was already think I was a lot of time before Now I don't think that because I was Yeah, I am at a hundred for like I think right now I'm at a hundred percent productivity and I was about 98 Like I'm always busy So but I will say what it forces me to do is where I used to you know Watch by an hour and a half a TV at night stuff That's like 30 minutes every other day if if I make that yeah, you have to push it Yeah, it's like I used to listen to all these podcasts Now I call my brother once a week and like tell me what happened right like and he'll give me a synopsis on world events

28:19 I have had to prioritize things out, but I do think that it's true. You have to become you got to be more productive Well, yeah, I remember. I mean you got The cooking the cleaning the the house chores not everything Yeah, you figure it out and you do it and you go. Oh my god Yeah, we still a lot of time before now I know I can do all this stuff and I wasn't and now it's like luxurious when you sit down and watch a 30-minute sitcom You're like wow. Yeah, it's like eating a good steak. I mean, it's been a while for me Yeah for that to happen right because my my children are grown Yeah, but I remember I think I've mentioned this before too that one time when you thought oh my god My my sports watching my stupid never watch another stupid stuff that I do Constantly yeah, I will never do again.

29:06 Then when you find yourself doing it again, but oh wait Something it's bad. Yeah, so there's that you're racing so much time number seven This I thought was really interesting and I wanted to see if you think this. Okay, your children will make your flaws visible to everyone So do you see in? your boys Your own things that you wish you did better or do you see that Their point was that you will see some of your own weaknesses in your kids and That when you see them as you help them work on it, it will help you work on yourself That that kind of idea.

29:52 I'm sure it happened. I'm sure it also means the other well the way you're looking at it Makes perfect sense to that. Your kid is going to illuminate you think yeah, like you're doing everything great and yeah They're gonna say stuff in front of everybody. They're like, oh, yeah, my dad doesn't do this, right? I'm like, hey I don't know. Yeah, I mean obviously they I think the main they meant it the way I wonder when I I wonder like when I look at especially thinking a little baby Josie like yeah, what will I see? I think I'm I'm sure if there are and I'm sure for every kid there is if there are the insecurities that I struggled with as a kid It'll be interesting to you know It might be it might be a case where when they're a little older and you realize like she can't talk to people Yeah, and then you go Before the baby was born was talking to Kelly and she's like what if she's an extrovert?

30:48 Oh and She's like I know how to help an introvert right like she knows how and for me I think for me because I was very I'm much more extroverted now as an adult but as a kid No, no, you were I was shy. I was shy That's funny, yeah, so but yeah, so it is it I think it'll be interesting to see what kind of what pops up I think my general sense of her energy is fairly outgoing Yeah, but she's little you never know my thing my worst fear. I don't this falls into that. I hope my kids Stand up for themselves. Yeah, I think I was always feared.

31:30 I didn't want to bully didn't want to get around Yeah, and that was my biggest fear. I hope I And I didn't get bullied. So it wasn't like I was I and I hear people that didn't I'm like, oh that sucks Cuz I could have got I mean I might have got bullied when I was first came to the country But I was so young and kind of like I didn't know I'll just say you had your everybody hates me. Okay, whatever But I never was like bullied like right see it and I always was worried. I hope my kids have a strong self Did you have people around you that you saw get bullied? Yeah, there was a group of kids a family that wasn't very well off Yeah, I had a best friend that was not he was an Asian, right?

32:11 And he was bullied and he got picked on and you saw that we were very close. Yeah, cuz I Experienced the same thing his parents, you know didn't speak English My parents didn't and I always wanted I go that was like I want my kids whatever they are To be strong with them, you know and not not have them be bullied or go through that Yeah, and I got lucky my yeah, my nobody's bullying Nick and Natalia will go right through. Yeah, he's he's got I mean, he's a great kid, but do not piss him off really Oh God. He's so I know he's such an affable lovable Yeah, but that's not good. So he is not to be picked nothing wrong with that So but that's that's how I took it.

32:54 I had that fear like yeah I want your kids to be good people and people but not run over Interesting so there was that number seven number eight You will have bad days But they won't be the ones you remember Right, and I think absolutely. I think that makes that and then it's a it went on to and if you do Then make it about that. It was a win that you got through it. Not that. Oh, it was so horrible But yeah, we and I like I haven't had I kind of would we haven't had a lot We had a we had a couple rough day one day actually before I went on my trip a little harder day But it was just managing sleep and that kind of thing But generally, yeah, you will have bad days, but you're not gonna remember the bad days You're all the good stuff.

33:43 It was like you said the pain that like women like We would have one kid and that's it. I mean as men Never again and and like we always said that the women just forget the pain that they went through they somehow have six more The baby came and healthy and love and this and that and the other that's right. I mean you're gonna have bad days Right. I mean, come on everybody. I mean everybody does you we're not perfect We're gonna we're gonna decide on something that the kids are not gonna agree with it's gonna make it a bad day It's we're gonna we're gonna make decisions that go down the wrong like I shouldn't have done that But I'll tell you when we talk about stuff we talk about vacations and we talk about good stuff And my son did this and that's the you don't you know, you take the bed and you learn from it Yep, and but all the members are gonna you know, most of the members are gonna be such good memories Those are the ones you're gonna remember.

34:39 Yeah, that's it. So that there's that I was number eight number nine And I think this is a very important one But when I think in inherently I understand as if you pick a battle with your child You're required to win You can't explain that just that there's just the idea that if you if you end up at an impasse with a kid and you're trying to You're you're trying that battle what you gotta win the battle. Otherwise, don't even they learn don't give in Yeah, you can't give an empty threats and yeah None of that once kids are I think I think kids are wired for fairness yep, and they and they are absorbing everything and one the minute you start to teach them that they can Push you around Kids need consequence.

35:28 Yeah, there has to be there has to be and that's how you learn and that's how you Put barriers of stuff you want and can do I remember my my you know My parents would be like if you do this And you believed it because it would happen and it has happened. Yeah. Yeah, we never were punished, right? I don't know about you. I don't punishment didn't happen in our no Like right, you know, I always say this when people go. Oh my god, I got punished I stayed I can't leave my room for two weeks My mom that would be a punishment to her to get the hell out of my house Right for her. She's like our punishment was go outside. Yeah Get away from my how you yeah in the in the bedroom where you have to eat in the bed Right.

36:15 Yeah, I spent a lot of time as a young adult Figuring out my relationship with authority because there was so much of a pending threat with my father mostly only with my father That I didn't even ask right? It was like I'm not no. Oh, no, he'll never let me you already knew they cut I probably took it too far. Yeah, right and and as a result out on stuff Yeah, I think I think there I think I probably did so then I had a real, you know a real difficult Time dealing with bosses and authority and how to handle that So I I want to try to find that I want to be consistent and fair and firm and not Yeah Walking all over you.

37:07 Yes, it would be I could tell already like it would be so easy She does things now and I'm like you already know that you can make a cute face and get me to react Yeah, you're hard to see it. It's a So, yeah, yeah, it's gonna be that's not gonna be easy But it's true though If you're gonna like they say yeah, don't give in don't let them see we don't draw a line in the sand and let them cross Right, you can't do that. And again, you can do that without being a jerk and a bad father Like yeah, like when my my son says my guy you yell at Okay I'm just loud So that was it if you pick a battle you gotta win number 10 and this is another one I think is very true being a father makes you softer and harder at the same time Yeah, I think we just said you become so you become more tender more You're willing to be more vulnerable with the people you care about and you become a Much greater threat to anybody who would mistreat them.

38:12 I think Do you cry at a drop of anything right now in our age? I cry every yeah and a commercial like a commercial We spend a lot of time with music. I'll be singing some romantic song. Oh, it was more Sinatra song More than the greatest love singing that to her and she does this cute little She kind of scrunches down and looks up at me and smiles and I'm just like I can't sing anymore I choke up she can make me like I Yes Kelly could hear me in the other room. So I'll put on the news during the day if I'm having lunch So I'm having something to eat I got and and Kelly hears me in the room because I'm yelling at the I'm not yelling But I'm I'm having a conversation with the TV saying come on.

38:59 You got us, please Don't do this to me and I walk in this. She's like, what was that? I'm like, it was the the st. Jude's commercial I'm like, I just couldn't taste she's like and she's like those are hard. I'm like she's like well if you want to I'm like We're already doing $30 a month. I did it Are you giving the 35? We're gonna get a we're gonna get a t-shirt But it's like yeah, like I say stuff like that you see Especially you were so lucky Everything's going right health wise all that stuff and then you see a parent that's faced with something like that Yesterday, I mean, I'm not trying to date this but I was watching something I was watching the NFL draft yep, and they bring like the Make a wish and I'm like, yeah All he wanted to do is announce the number one draft for his favorite team and he'd been battling cancer and like Yeah, it's we just become softer you do but at the same time yeah you protect yeah You're you're family.

40:10 You're rolling around in the rolling around in Wegmans with the baby in the cart And somebody comes around the corner too fast and I will murder you You know me. Do you have any idea what you're dealing with? That's fun. And then the last one number 11 Don't worry. Have fun and be a kid again And I think that's that is absolutely that you felt younger. Oh, I do remember you said without a doubt and it's just such you have licensed to be a Complete idiot like I can just be as goofy have these stupid conversation making noises It's just you you feel like I don't know as a younger person.

40:50 I was always worried about being embarrassed So there are things that I might have thought of but I wouldn't have said with this kid. Yeah It's there's all bets are off. Like I will do anything to get the reaction. Yeah, I mean you can go from literally firing someone and Talking to one of my yeah constantly having these conversations with employees now that I've been back to work and Yeah, exactly it's So, how about that meeting? Yes, but what exactly have fun with it?

41:30 Yeah, you gotta have fun become a kid with your kid. Yeah, because Yeah that they're bringing yeah, come on you can't be you can't be just like this little you know Mushy mush. Yeah, you gotta be up there and roll with them. Yeah. Yeah, they're not even walking She's not even you're not even running around yet. No, we're doing the tummy time. We do that. We do some fun stuff now It's what I Especially trying to get her to burp. So we'll do stuff and Kelly will do it. I'll be like that's wrong. I'm like Okay, when you're doing the fake skiing the slalom is twice on this side twice on the moguls is back and forth and then the Ski jump you got a get way down and then stretch the legs out and make her shake and then lay in She's like, okay No, this is real This is the way you do it, I know I just made it up two weeks ago This is exactly when you do the pasta dough blade one hand down one hand up It's like we're gonna see Josie in the Olympics or Something but it's yeah, that was cool.

42:39 I liked I liked that segment. That was a nice That was a great everyone's on all most of it is nonsense, but everyone's in a while. There's some really on X There's some fathers that put out really interesting questions and some great content. So that that was fun so I wanted to do that and then as far as the The remainder of our what just happened so we've had some family visits so we just are past Easter and So my cousin my cousin Sharon who you went to school. Absolutely was home. She's in Ohio So she was home and I had checked in with her her sister Jessica is in town and her brother Danny and then she has a brother Andy in Buffalo, but they were all home For Easter and they all came over.

43:27 Yes for a visit. I got to make them all espressos It was fun. So they all got to meet the baby. So that was that was really fun I haven't seen Andy in a while his husband Bruce They came to visit Danny was here and they all got to meet the baby and and have some coffee It was very nice. So and it's not it's just fun to show her off. I'm like So we had visit and then very important visit From Kelly's mom and dad. Yeah, I'm able to make the trip they came out healthy enough to Feeling better made the trip and it was it was funny. They're literally The whole we have a we don't have a like a formal dining room.

44:11 We have a kind of a big dining room table It's in a great room Yeah, but it's a big table Full of Stuff that her mother and father brought. Oh, really all the clothes and little games and toys and things. Well, they had seven weeks They had they had accumulated some stuff and then Literally a freezer full three of those big wagons with the food. Yeah even more but it was just like all just Unbelievable all kinds of stuff They were they were they were in it so it was nice got to we got to visit with them and How was the grandparents with the baby?

44:52 With a work and office where they were it was they weren't certainly weren't standoffish I don't know why I say that dad was I would have expected a man with four children to look a little more comfortable holding the baby, but His youngest is you know in his mid 30s, so it's been a while I'm telling you right now if you handed me Josie, I don't know how comfortable I would be right cuz I haven't I'm really I Haven't held a baby. Yeah in 18 years and it is it's squishy Probably take me a minute or two. Yeah, but I answer because when my mother first Came over For Natali my oldest.

45:34 Yeah, he was so small She was scared to touch him really and she felt like she was gonna break him or something That's why I asked. Yeah, was it cuz she I like mom Why'd you like yeah all over this baby, and she's like honestly. I'm so scared cuz he's never had a little bit Yeah, yeah, that's so that's yeah So yeah, it was kind of weird cuz you expected my mom does just get in there and take the baby And she's like not touching him. Yeah, what's wrong? Yeah, no, it was a night. It was nice visit Yeah, I got to got to see them and the visit from the Carter Ellie's. Yeah, it was very nice So that's that's been good so getting getting now we just need your brother Yeah, my and then your sister Lucille's already planned her trip.

46:18 So she's coming. I think right after Memorial Day should you do the summer thing too, right? Yeah, so she's coming for a week right after Memorial Day gotcha And then one of them asked my brother on we were all talking on Easter and I think he's probably he'll probably come for our summer cookout the summer Yeah, so he's like the last thing he wants to do is be in in Syracuse when it's not summer. Oh, no May as well be Come for that four weeks When it's nice, so yeah And then full and also and then I think Kelly's sister has also planned a trip for a specific weekend That's right. She's coming.

46:58 Yep. She'll be coming as well. So yeah, it'll be nice Yeah, so we had some visits and very nice and we had our first Holiday we had the Easter holiday you did a great job You know, I want to I want to ask This is a funny thing and it kind of ties in with one of the things we talked about earlier So it was very nice I happened to so I had taken myself off the volunteer list for church for the first month and then I was back on the roster and I ended up getting to be reader one for Easter Sunday Mass, so I was excited for that and We announced I do though.

47:39 Yeah, so if you're reader one you're up there and you do the opening announcements and Welcome everybody and then you do the first reading and then you and Trina and Nick were able to join us at Mass And and my sister my local sister Paula here joined us as well. So it was nice a beautiful day nice the baby did really well and I did my announcements. So I wanted to ask you specifically about that. So the announcements the reading what would you? How do you think? How do you think I did? Very smooth. I mean, yeah, like, okay I would never be I'm on stage as a living and I couldn't do that. Okay, you're very precise clear But I expected that I've always heard you talk in front of people.

48:26 I So I had a thing like I was now I was very like I was very shy as a kid and one the Probably the most valuable thing I ever had through high school. I had a English teacher His name his name was mr. Malamud a Melon Melon Mel, but he was an older teacher But if you got him for English, you had to speak in front of the class. Gotcha, and I was terrified and But that was a turning point for me as a young person It made me and I you know, and then it's throughout my work. I've had to do Bigger groups and stuff. So I like it but During that there was a moment as I'm reading now.

49:11 I prepare a little bit So you have a book for if you're a reader, so, you know what you're gonna read So I'll go through and practice it and I'll read it out loud a couple times I'll sometimes I'll ask Kelly how it sounded but this time because of it being Easter and we're so busy I literally only went through it one time Right before we left to come to church It was I didn't have a lot of time to prepare and a lot of time, you know And the book kind of gives you the reading it gives you if there's any complicated or difficult to pronounce words that gives you that and then it also gives you a little bit of understanding of Where to emphasize and what what is trying to be communicated so it's good context to read But I had barely had enough time to go through it once and then you don't get so that that context What's in the book is high the words that you're supposed to emphasize are highlighted But that you don't have that when you're on the lectern.

50:08 Oh, it's just bigger bigger print Yeah, and there it is. So at one point I lost my place Because I'm trying to now you're smiling So I was just gonna say I would never be able to do it because I would lose my place So one of the things I'm trying to do better at is I Have a tendency not to lose some of the best readers who the reader after me reads They're looking they're talking. They're working and making So I'm trying to do that more of that so I'm going through and I'm doing a little bit better that time in you know, the announcements were fine, but in the reading at one point I lost my place and It created a pause and then I picked up again now It felt like an eternity to me But I did not read I did not take that you didn't get you didn't catch it and I know you and I so This is nice Yeah, so There was a little pod.

51:15 I thought I covered it. Okay. Yeah, so We get so, you know after mass we took some pictures. It was very nice, and I thought it was very sweet You guys came over Trina sees the baby and she starts tearing up. I just thought your wife is such a sweet Ah, she is you like she's wonderful. But anyhow, so we come home. I did a leg of lamb So I was cooking all morning I was cooking all morning. I didn't have time to look at the reading so we get home and I'm right into Finishing dinner getting everything ready. Paul and I became over for dinner. We have dinner. I clean up Kelly's kind of tired. Sure. She's She's in the in the bedroom with the baby and I'm kind of doing the dishes and dishes and I'm thinking about the day And I walk in True and I say so how painfully obvious was my pause?

52:08 Oh, it was it was very obvious Yes, and I'm like and it was just like a gut punch. I'm like, oh And I I just like I don't think I can be with you anymore. I will that's how I'm comfortable walked away So and I'm sweaty because we talked about it before before you came over I'm like, I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna ask to see cuz you were there how funny that I thought What a great job Frank is doing now the truth lies somewhere in between those two assessments You can do no wrong to me Like I was like really I'm like, oh now one of the one of the things I realized long ago with my lovely wife When we met and we got serious Kelly had just bought a house.

52:55 I had the house I was living in We made a decision that she would sell her house and I would remodel The house that I was in to whatever she wanted I remember that so one of the projects was I redid the floors through the whole downstairs really nice wide plank oak flooring and I had just done that part of it and It's literally not nothing in the house. I had ordered a pod. So all the furniture is out This the flooring is in it just finished it that day she comes home from work. It's just gleaming perfect and I opened the door from the garage to let her in and look at this And the first thing she says, oh, there's a scratch.

53:43 Oh god. That's the first thing I ever Everything and it was that one I realized I'm like this is she is just wired for like what we were talking about earlier with the How what how you speak to your child is how they speak to themselves? Yes, that is What's going on with Kelly? So when she said I just I did say afterwards. I'm like, you know, I'm I've been around the block. I've done a lot of things I'm a pretty confident person and when you said that that way it bothered me You can't do this with our little girl. Like you can't know you you can't don't make these big Honest Don't be honest when she says look mommy, I made a turtle that looks like a tank.

54:30 Yeah, not a Really? So it was kind of funny, but I was funny. Wow. Yeah, how painfully obvious was my boss? Oh, it was it was I was painfully obvious. I'm like, wow, so that was that was it? But yeah, it's something when you're up there Doing that I guess I always was amazed when people could look down. Yeah Figure out what they're reading look around with the words that are still coming out Yeah, and then find themselves into the book again Yeah Or the page and I guess I remember one time there's like like a leveler like move down like so you don't lose your spot Yeah, or sometimes they'll put their hand there. Yeah the finger. But yeah, you know again, I was like, wow In this case Kelly you were wrong And I did a great job You made me feel so much better But that was it was really it was a beautiful Easter.

55:27 It was a great time. It was a great day It was nice to see you guys. This is our third time at the church. That's it now Three times now That'll be it and I will say to love you I did us he is he's a great he is a he's a great guy Really just a sweet father came over after right after you guys stepped away and I have invited him To we made reservations for brunch After the baptism, okay, and I invited I invited him to join us I hope he can come and I'm sure then I'll remind him. I'm like remember, you know, you like Carlo, too So hopefully he can join us but yeah, he is I Love him music.

56:10 He's a great when you can have a priest that you actually enjoy I remember we had now at our church We got married from Father Scardella and we got to know him real well where we hung out with him outside There's a group of people. That's so cool. Yeah, it's he came to our wedding He did the blessing and all that. So yeah, it was it's cool when you have a friendship. Yeah I've never had that and I feel I want to try to develop that without with him. But yeah father see Young and yeah Yeah, he's like his mom. I like his dad. I like how he speaks. Yeah, very loud and clear would you know, I loved it He's no time in between He had a he had a he knew you could tell he had a crack at a bunch of people who are almost never there And he he's he went at he went at it to try to win him over and get him coming back So I think he did a great job.

57:05 No Yeah, it was it was very very nice and I will say I did a sous-vide leg of lamb I mean, I want I want to do that like next week again. It was Absolutely, just like butter just tender It was so good good for you. So yeah, really really good So then after the holiday I had to go away on a business trip to Texas Uh-huh, and that was first time out. I was my first time away from the baby. Sure. I literally have been within within footsteps of Since she was born. Yeah, and I made it as far as the airport and on to the plane and I already had My the the app for the cradle wise and I'm looking at her and it was funny because I'm laughing at myself Because I'm immediately doing that what you're doing and just have this big stupid grin as I'm looking at her and then I'm even more amused because I'm having to resist Going.

58:07 Hey To the guy next to me like look at that. Come on, like look at this kid You got me you gotta like have you seen a kid like this? Yeah, look at how that she sleeps. That's perfect. Everybody. Yeah, I can have your attention. Could you we're out of coffee? But yeah, we all know we all know how to use the exit row seat Let's get important stuff. Let's talk about that. Look at my daughter So it was but I I did I was kept checking in and it was a good trip But it was weird being away. Yeah, and I couldn't wait couldn't wait Couldn't wait to get home and and go like my flight got the late I was supposed to get home at like 930 at night And I got on I didn't get I think I came in the door at like 130 in the man But luckily everybody was up They were fine, so I'm there for work evaluating a mall as a potential location and what's in the mall No, well, there's Carter's and Oshkosh and Jeannie and Jack so I came home stores.

59:13 You can't find insert. Yes They are there there are not around here anymore And I will say with Jeannie and Jack a little disappointed They have this I see in the media because I'm trained having been in retail. I look for the clearance 60% off sign in the back corner. I go back. I find like four of these absolutely adorable dresses they're all the right size for summer and They've got the little ruffle being amazing the hand and all this time little baby girl gorgeous. Yeah And my sister's they're encouraging oh my god, you gotta get that yeah, you gotta you need we need shoes to go with that I'm like, okay So I have and then I what I failed the money I missed was the small print of up to 60% off so I probably up to what I thought was gonna be like 60 bucks was like 150 Yeah, but it was okay I'm still happy how and we haven't done I owe my sister in Texas and now My local sister a fashion show with the horse, I'm we're gonna have to try them on You're gonna go on a business trip.

1:00:18 And then wait a minute. Let's stop because I need to get some dresses That's the part I'm excited that I'm thrilled to talk about it and I was excited to do absolutely Yeah, no, like if you're telling me yeah, you're gonna buy it. You're gonna get a new phone. Yeah, like or some new or a new Laptop, I would be excited. Yeah. No, I'm like, this is awesome We're gonna get a matching hat with a dress and a little fluffy thing Yeah, it's like the coveralls have a heart on them and you gotta get this shirt So when you came home with this kid with these what the Kelly's it's like really? Oh She thought they were they were Yes.

1:00:58 Yeah, she was she didn't she didn't make me that baby's gonna have so much I mean, yeah, it's it's I'm honest. I'm glad she poops out of all her stuff six times I'm glad those I'm glad those places aren't here. Like if that genie and Jack place was here. Yeah We'd go bro. We we lived in Carter's Yeah in cars at its own store, but at first we got to know it through Well, I want to say either JC Penney's had Carter's like a section, you know And so they had that whole like Carter stuff and we found so many things. Yeah, he loved it and Yeah, you just want to buy everything and they grow out of them So, yeah, it's like you look at the cost of something like you were once Once or twice and that's it.

1:01:42 This is a timing it Of course while I'm there I'm asking the people that work they're trying to get a feel for the traffic and their comps and stuff so they're completely confused by my line of questioning because I'm like So, how are your comps and let's do you like any reports you can show me? How does this store work like what is the funny and and they're you know, they were great Okay, I had a good time. So yeah, so we did the trip and then We talked about a little bit with the bottle stuff. I started with doing the first bottle and Got to improve but talked to so she took maybe half of the first and the third Bottle we tried so I've got to just you know, can see a repetition is the mother of skill I'll keep trying it and doing it but it's been fun and it is that I feel like Finally, I'm not the useless one that brings you to the one who can feed you.

1:02:40 Yeah, so I'm excited I did the same thing. I remember that like You're no good to me right now Yeah There there is a that moment of Most of the time what I'm trying to do is get Kelly a little bit more sleep by keeping her settled when she's hungry, right? So but eventually it's just like, you know, I'm hungry. Yeah, so yes I there is that like I could finally I get to be the solution Yeah, and not the butler bringing you to like here's your table. Yeah So my best friend, that's right That's funny, maybe I'll try haven't had to do so far But so there that we do we're doing that and then we went to the the pediatrician that we go to They have a lactation consultant on their staff.

1:03:34 Very nice. I think her name is Kathy Very nice She's awesome. We wanted to talk to her and spend some time and we did a weigh-in. So you want to guess? Oh god, so let me know what yeah, she was so again born six pounds one ounce Last two weeks ago our last appointment with her. She was eight pounds 14 ounces Two weeks ago, I'm gonna say she is 12 pounds 9 ounces So there's they should be gaining about a half a pound a week. Okay? In two weeks. She is now at 9 pounds 13 jumped the first time.

1:04:16 Oh, yeah. Yeah in the first way at this point She's not about a half a pound a week See, I was trying to over cuz I always go under everything and so 9 pounds 9 pounds 13 ounces. I guessed I was The lactation consultant was laughing. I'm like, I think she's gonna be 10 pounds She's like well dad was close. But yeah, 9 pounds 13 ounces. We still do that with my kids How tall her sixth one? I thought it was gonna be 210. Yeah, I thought yeah. Well, you're always wondering. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're always interested But it was nice. She's very helpful. And I'm like now that I'm more involved in the process She's like, well, when do you want to come can we next week same time?

1:04:58 So we'll go back next week on Friday. You got a goal. I have another another resource that we will Take advantage of That's on average I think what they're what they should be doing right now So yeah So she but she's really good like we tell her how everything's going and she asks a bunch of questions and tries to give us Strategies to help and I think she's a good resource nice. So now I know I will continue to try With evening bottles and get to be an expert with that because then eventually like today Kelly was able to go and get a haircut Really? Yep, so I was by myself for the first time with the baby.

1:05:39 How was that? Now I was worried because we've done a bottle three times and it hasn't been not only marginally successful So if she's hungry Like I do I also think that we have maybe Misinterpreting sometimes she acts like she's hungry Because then she feeds a little and she settles and she goes to sleep. So this this morning she was in a great mood We were having fun right before Kelly left and so I'm singing to her and just wandering around everything's good and Kelly leaves she leaves like a quarter to nine.

1:06:19 Okay, and Calls me at like 901 and says I forgot they moved my appointment So she thought she was gonna be gone for a nine o'clock haircut and she got there at nine and her appointment was at 930 So I'm like, oh no like extra time extra time pressures on so I'm like, okay, so I start singing the lullabies Doing a little more rockin and I can see I'm getting some yawns. I'm like, yeah And She she got pretty settled. So I brought her in. I started a swaddler. She didn't she wasn't Excited but I got her swaddled a little more rockin and singin out Put it out slept the whole time.

1:07:04 Oh, it was beautiful Cuz again, you know, I I can't have the bottle completely ready Sure, so I've got I prepped the bottle with the mom cozy and do that stuff But you know when it went well and and that was it. I'll tell you man I think I got a lot of references to old Episodes, but the first time I had that baby I was so Scared. Yeah, I'm nervous. I swear to God I would wake up and I would Literally the minute my wife would leave. I think I was probably out the door 20 minutes later to go to my mother's And it was the funniest thing and eventually my mom goes Are you couple are you scared?

1:07:47 Baby So what are you talking I just miss you It's different when they say, okay, it's all you yeah, like all of a sudden wait a minute foods not here Yeah, like what do I do? I can't I can't make her I was even with the food cuz I think at that point He was good with the bottle. I was just Right And then and then when you figure it out, I'm like, why don't you come over anymore? What I figured it out. Yeah, I'm not afraid anymore. I mean Yeah, no, it was good. It was it went well, so that's awesome. Yeah.

1:08:28 Yeah good stuff Then that's pretty much that's pretty much where we are a lot of stuff going on. Yeah a lot of fun stuff Once again, we've made it through another episode. So 24 24 Let me let me throw this at you before we go. Yes What's the Situation on the baby room the plan is that when my sister comes to visit from Texas That's I'm gonna try to knock that out that week while she's here. She can help with the baby She could do the stuff I've been doing that and then I can just focus on that I think I could probably knock it out in a couple. I think Josie's just gonna stay in your room Well, the plan is for her to be there for the first year.

1:09:08 Yeah, they recommend six months Minimum in the bedroom with you and or up to a year or so. Yeah, I got time It's it's more for me to start training her for the baby races, right? I was gonna say what's going on with that track. You gotta build up for the cruise. We do a lot of Foundation building. Yeah the strength. We're doing that. I'm having her try to do pull-ups The funny thing is there's all this stuff. I get pushed all this stuff on social media and the thing you're supposed to do is build a ramp and Point them down the ramp so they get the idea of the forward movements like these people. Oh my god It's you know, they're all like, you know physical therapists and stuff that are putting these videos out But they got to remember who's watching like who knows what's gonna happen.

1:09:54 It's a little Bob from some of these babies Helmet on them first pull a pillow at the bottom just in case This is gonna be a fun summer, yeah It will be and then the added bonus of the boat like Get her out on the boat. How does that gonna work? We'll see. Okay. Well, thanks for joining us again, and we will talk to you again soon Well folks, that's another episode of the gray hair and daycare podcast in the books Thanks very much for tuning in and spending this time with us. We hope it was fun If you enjoyed this week's descent into the madness of dadness Be sure to subscribe to the podcast so you don't miss any of our future adventures While you're at it, give us a like and share the cast with your friends on Facebook Instagram Twitter carrier pigeon Whatever you crazy kids are using Have any hilarious parenting stories of your own?

1:10:46 questions about navigating fatherhood later in life or even when normal people do it email us at ghdc.podcast at gmail.com We'd love to hear from you And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going up